#i saw her on saturday she said shes gonna make me a tub full

[userblaney]

we're goinf to the imams house for dinner im not excited bc im scared jm gonna Die but did you k ow he named one of his daughters after me . well. Not really but he said he liked my spelling the most and wanted to use it. so thats fun and also. his eldest makes a MEAN oreo ice cream

[hiatus-for-forever]

Child!Bakusquad x Reader

Summary: Bakusquad bois got hit with a de-aging quirk and you are tasked to taake care of them

Quirk: Water manipulation. You can control water and can choose to only use H2O or can also carry things is it. If you use it too much you will get dehydrated

Genre/Warnings: Cursing,fluff?? This was kinda just random. There are a bunch of this but I wanted to try just the Bakusquad

WC: 1,450

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

What happened? What led to this? Trying to figuratively raise four baby teenagers? Well, this is what happened.

It was a warm Saturday afternoon, you were done with your homework and somewhat sore from training throughout the week. Suddenly you heard a knock on the door. You grunted, getting up from the couch of your house/apartment. You parents weren’t home so you had to get the door. You walked up as the knocking became more frantic. You sighed, exasperated, “Alright, alright” you yelled and opened the door. You were met with a pink-skinned, alien-eyed classmate of yours. “What?” You snapped at her, annoyed she ruined your relaxing time. 

“So here’s the thing, we we’re walking and this dude bumped into Bakugou and he started to yell so the dude got scared and hit them with his quirk”

You raised your eyebrow, “get to the point”

She sighed, “he had a de-aging quirk and now the boys are 3 or 4 years old”

Then you felt something. Small hands were felt against your leg, as if trying to grab you attention. You looked down and saw four small children. One with puffy blonde hair, one with a black streak in his, and two with straight black hair. 

“HOLY SHIT” You screeched and jumped back. “WHAT THE FUCK” 

“I know, I know but please take care of them” You stared at her, shock still present on your features

“Why me!?” You yelled, looking at the dumbfounded children.

“Well, I need to get home, Bakugou’s mom said she didn’t wanna deal with him, Sero’s parents are out of town, and Kaminari’s parent’s will kill him if they found out” she said

“Well, what about Eijiro?” you asked and glared as Ashido pushed the boys into your home.

“Oh his mom would happily take care of him but he wanted to stay with his friends who were asking to go to your place” you had to admit, it was really adorable

You sighed, “uuugh fiiine, I’ll take them”

Mina cheered and so did the boys. She quickly said her goodbyes and left the boys to you. As soon as the door closed you kneeled down to level with the children.

“You guys didn’t lose any memories right” 

“We didn’t, dumbass” Bakugous mumbled

“Aww, don’t curse Kacchan” you said, your words laced with feigned sweetness

“What did you fucking call me, yo-” before he could continue, you grabbed him and hugged him tight, “if you don’t want me to throw you back to your mom, you better shut up”

He did as told and you set him down. “But I want hugs too” Kaminari whined as you chuckled, “later maybe, first let’s make some things clear. Do all your parents know your staying here”

“Yeah! We told our parents we were having a sleepover!” Kirishima said happily and you wrapped your arm around him, carrying him naturally.

“How long will this last?” you asked and carried Bakugou in your other arm.

“A day” he replied

“And where did you get your clothes?” you asked your last question

“Kirishima’s mom gave it to us before we left to go here” Sero said

You stood up, walking with two boys in your arms, to your living room. You set them down as the other two followed. You grabbed some school supplies and tossed the remote at them. “The tv is yours for now, and here’s some  paper, crayons and pens and stuff. Imma take a nap” You walked to the other couch, leaving them to their devices. You quickly fell asleep as the boys talked among themselves.

“Why did you guys get carried and we didn’t” Kaminari complained

“She only has two arms, duh” Sero commented as he started drawing on paper.

“I want love too” he whined and tried to take the remote from Bakugou to which he just pushed him away. They spent about 15 minutes arguing and playing and whatnot until they realized one was missing. “Hey, where’s Kirishima?”

The three boys looked around and found him with you. He was wrapped in your arms as you both slept peacefully. Kaminari whined “him again!”

Waking up, you both stirred. “Denki shut up” you grumbled. Kaminari broke out in tears. You got up and lifted him to your chest. Patting his back, asking,”what’s wrong?” 

“It’s just you and- Bakugou- and Kirishima- and not hugging me!” he cried and sobbed as you bounced him lightly. A ‘what do I do?’ look was on your face as you faced the guys and they just shrugged. You reluctantly brought him with you to the couch and had him lay on you as you patted his back. His sobs got softer as it waws replaced by soft snoring. You giggled at how fast he fell asleep and felt your arm being tugged. Sero put it around him and snuggled up to your side. You smiled to yourself and dozed off, hearing the soft breaths of the two boys snuggling up to you. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

You awoke to quite a sight, Kaminari mover to hugging you tighter, his breathing tickling your neck, Sero was still where he was, Bakugou was on your side opposite of Sero, hugging your arm, and Kirishima was resting comfortably on your legs. You swore your heart was gonna melt. You noticed how late it was getting and gently shook them awake. They yawned and let you get up as some rubbed their adorable sleepy eyes. 

“So what do you guys wanna eat for dinner?” you asked

Stars were in their eyes as they simultaneously yelled “PIZZA”

Your giggle caught their attention and made them blush knowing they make you laugh. You got up and went to call the pizza place and you walked up to them again. “Okay so, while we wait for it to arrive, you will unfortunately have to take a bath” their blushes all got darker and all you went silent

“NO WAIT I’M NOT GETTING NAKED WITH YOU” You blushed furiously at you just grabbed them and pulled them to the bathroom.

“Just uh, take off your clothes, I won’t look” you said, turning the knob and letting the warm water  pour down. You glanced back and realized only Kaminari complied. You quickly told him to step in the tub and he did so. You used your quirk to lift up some soapy water and swished it around Kaminari as he laughed at the feeling. You took some clean water and rinsed the soap off of him. And just like that his bath was dome in 2 minutes. You did it on Kirishima, then Sero, then Bakugou, him being more grumpy than the others. You felt like a cool mom at the same time like their girlfriend, taking care of them. The thought made you blush as you found yourself answering the door and paying for the pizza. You sat in your dining area, watching the boys excitedly chomp on their slices, quickly getting seconds and thirds. You saw them get messy but Bakugou had it the worse, the grease and tomato sauce got all over his mouth. You shyly got some tissue paper and wiping the corners of his mouth. His face got warm as you gently patted the tissue against his lips. You looked so beautiful right now, almost like an angel, your hair falling gently and your touch was gentle too. 

The others wanted you to do that with them too but each didn’t want to bother you more than they already did. The moment was over as soon as it started and you quickly finished up your ‘meal’ and did the dishes. They did figure out how to put on a movie but you all agreed you were too full for popcorn. You placed yourself between Bakugou and Kaminari as Sero sat against your legs and Kirishima sat beween them. You eventually fell asleep from the tiring day you had with the boys even if it mostly consisted of napping. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

You woke up latching on to a shirtless Sero. You squeaked, turning red, you shook him awake, waiting for an explanation. He shifted in his sleep and looked down at you. His hair was ruffled and this cheeks were tainted pink. Cute. 

“So, um, the others are making breakfast. We kinda woke up naked and the clothes were ripped”

You blushed and froze up as he did too

“B-But you don’t need to worry! Nothing happened! We did use you oversized pants, shirts and hoodies and I have to say, you have a lot” he chuckled, “it’s not weird though. Just weirdly convenient”

You both had a good laugh as you went to breakfast with the others.

[romantic-barnes]

strawberry & tape | part five

| part five - ring pop poison |

Pairings: dark!biker!bucky x reader

Summary: Bucky Barnes has the town in his hands and a lot of blood. All you have is a cafe your mother left you after her passing. But as Bucky’s attention moves to you, do you have the strength to pay revenge for his wrongdoings? Does your push into the dark paradise end in love or blood?

Warnings: mention of suicide, possessiveness, violence This is dark bucky! please don’t read if you are uncomfortable with any of the topics mentioned above!  

A/N: Please don’t read if you are under 18! Here we go. We’re getting closer to the finish line, I’m thinking two parts left maybe! 

I’m just gonna tag some of my faves, you are under no obligation to read this! @imanuglywombat​​ @mariessecretfantasies​​ @sinner-as-saint​ @buckybarney​ @mypoisonedvine​ 

For the first time in moths, the sun peaked through the clouds,making an appearance. It was mocking you, your tears. The grief in your eyes was the suns silver screen on a Saturday night. It clapped as you closed your eyes, like a velvet curtain falling. 

There wasn’t a funeral, no respect for the traitor who was falsely accused of compliance. You heard her fathers scream through the town, echoing along the streets, pulsating in your ears. The grief of a father who’s daughter was taken by the biest in the darkness. They stripped her body of clothes, showing the bruising along her thighs, neck and arms. They hung Lana on the church, head hanging from her neck. High enough to be seen from the windows three streets away. Lana’s body served as a warning.

Your head was empty as they had you watch as they hung her body, a smile of victory on Bucky’s face. The day after that dragged you through a nightmare of memories flashing through your eyes. But between those, possibilities of what could have been, Lana’s life without the painted poison. A life full of light and colour. A life where you do not exist. 

It was foolish, you were foolish to step into the spotlight of Bucky’s eyes. It was your fault. If you just had sat and shut your mouth, maybe she would still be alive. 

You sat at the wall, cowering in your own self pity. It became clearer by the minute that you had lost long ago. You lost against Bucky the second he came into your cafe. 

The door to your right opened and Steve walked in, after him Sam and Bucky. They looked around until Steve’s eyes fell on you. It was unclear what you saw in his blues, but its wasn’t pity. You were sure he could smell you from there, all of them could. The neglect of a shower could be seen on your skin. The dirt under your nails, oil coating your hair and the stench on your clothes. 

Steve walked into the bedroom while Sam disappeared into the bathroom. Bucky lingered for a second before slowly waking towards you. Unknowingly you slid away from him, but Bucky reached out to grab your arm, hoisting you up. He scrunched his nose, disgusted by your appearance. 

“When was the last time you showered?” He asked as he dragged you out of the room into the hallway. 

“I don’t know.” You whispered back. Maybe it was shame or maybe it was the fact that you haven’t spoken a word in days. 

“Don’t worry, I’ll make you pretty again. Can’t let you rot like this.” Bucky looked back to you while he dragged you up a flight of stairs. “I need my wife to be in top shape.” The grin spreading across his face sent shivers down your spine. 

The floor up from yours looked different, almost taken care of. Walls painted white, floors polished and light fixtures lighting the space. A few rooms to your left and right, but Bucky guided you right past them towards a set of double doors at the end of the hallway. He let go of your arm fishing a set of keys from his back pocket. 

Bucky unlocked the doors and ushered you to go in. The scent of flowers and soap filled your nose. The place looked shockingly nice, cosy even. Walls in an brilliant white, sofas facing a TV, a piano pushed against the wall to your right. There wasn’t a trace of remorse or shame in the room. The atmosphere disinfected from the crimes of the innocent.

“Welcome to your new apartment, sweetheart.” Bucky took his leather jacket off, draping it across the couch. 

Compared to the tiny space you lived in, this was a huge contrast. But something about it bothered you. A look around confirmed that this was where Bucky lives and now not even the walls would be an escape from the monster living under the roof. A cage full of poison pulling you deeper into the hopelessness.

The door behind you opened, Sam and Steve came in, carrying your few things in boxes. Steve walked passt you with a wink, setting the box down on the floor. With a quick wave they disappeared again and you were anxious on what would happen. You felt unnervingly aware of your own presence, wanting to vanish between the cracks in the floors.

“Come here.” Bucky ordered and you followed him into a different room. You looked around, a lump forming in your throat. The bath had been filled with water, a coat of white bubbles floating on top. “Take your clothes off.”

You looked at Bucky with wide eyes, blinking at him a few times. Bucky sighted, moving over to you. 

You inched away as his fingers got a hold of the hem of your sweatshirt. Shaking your head you tried to remove him from you, but his grip was too tight. Pulling the sweatshirt over you head, Bucky moved to your leggings, pulling them down your legs, removing them with your socks. You crossed your arms in front of your chest to cover up your exposed skin. 

Bucky reached behind you, taking a hold of your bra clasp, his hot breath burning on your forehead and with no effort he undid your bra. Bucky’s eyes fell on yours as he slid the straps down your arms, untangling your limbs from your chest, your bra fell to the floor, exposing your breasts to him. 

Bucky’s tongue moved over his lips, leaving a wet trail. “Pretty.” Bucky said and although his voice was silky, the word felt like daggers in your ears.

Bucky knelt down in front of you, pulling your cotton panties down, his mouth agape. The touch of his fingers running down your legs, his eyes fixed on the flesh in front of him, it was surreal. 

He threw your clothes into the corner, taking your hand in his, helping you into the tub. As you sat down, the warm water encapsulating your skin soothed your head. 

You looked up to Bucky as he removed his clothes, revealing the toned and muscular body underneath. You turned your head away, heat rising to your head. Bucky chuckled and that left you even more embarrassed.

Bucky lowered himself into the bathtub, is eyes burning into yours. He gestured for you to come closer to him and as you laid between his legs, head and back resting on his chest, Bucky’s hands roamed your arms. 

“I had my eye on you for a long time, dollface. Don’t you remember your mothers funeral? I was there.” Bucky spoke softly into your ear. “I saw your teary eyes and that awful black dress, but you still looked pretty as ever. But that day in your cafe, when you threw coffee at me.” Bucky chuckled a little before sitting you upright, coating your hair with shampoo. “That moment just confirmed it for me.”

Your searched your brain for any confirmation of what Bucky said, trying to remember seeing him at your mothers funeral while Bucky continued to wash your hair. The image of Bucky standing off to the distance floated in front of your eyes. Bucky in a suit with Steve and Sam by his side. 

Bucky rinsed your hair, you heard him inhaling deeply. “I love you.” He whispered against your hair. Your lip trembled, tears threatening to fall, but they didn’t. You felt sick to your stomach at the words. It felt as if the water that welcomed you with it’s warmth now suffocated you, strangling your throat. He was insane, out of his mind and you were sure of it.

You were sat on the couch, listening to the commotion in the house. There were voices coming from a few rooms over, but you couldn’t tell if they were real or not. Your hair dried by now, but his fingerprints still lingering on your every fibre. 

Next thing you knew the door opened and a man in leather called you to dinner. You swallowed, getting up from your seat, following the man down the many flights of stairs, turning corners before entering a dining room. 

A long table was set with plates and cutlery, all seats were occupied but one at the other end of the table. Reluctantly you sat down, eyes burning into you from all sides. They watched as you sat down on the cushioned chair. Bucky smiled at you from the other end of the table, gesturing for the meal to start. 

You watched as the residents took their food from the plates in front of them, piling them up. Your eyes fell on Peter sitting a few seats away from you, your jaw tensed up upon seeing the traitor. 

“Darling, eat something.” Bucky’s voice cut through the air, taking your gaze away from Peter. 

You grabbed a few potatoes, watching as Bucky’s mouth spread into a smile at your compliance. You swallowed the food slowly. It felt so normal, so typical. You were the odd one out between the gangsters. A flower growing between weeds. But you knew sitting where you sat that you would wilt.

Suddenly Bucky stood with a smile, looking around the table. “These past weeks have been very hectic.” His eyes fell on you. “But we’ve once again conquered every bump along the road. We yet again eliminated an enemy of ours from our beloved Dawn. All thanks to out youngest member. Isn’t that right, Peter?”

Your blood was boiling as Peter swallowed, eyes flicking to you and back to Bucky. 

“Peter?” Bucky called for him again and Peter nodded his head. 

The heat in your head turned scorching hot. You took the wine glass in your hand and with one swift move stood and threw it at Peter’s head. Your hands trembled, shook unbearably, because it wasn’t enough. It wasn’t enough seeing him cowering in his seat, blood rolling down his temple. You wanted to strangle im, break his neck, burn him alive. Anything to make him feel the pain you felt, the anguish you’ve felt since she died in front of your eyes.

You moved around the table, but were stopped by a red head holding your arm. Bucky’s laugh filled the quiet room. Everyone was quiet as Peter ran out. Tears spilled from your burning eyes. 

Bucky walked towards you and you thought you were going to die right there, but Bucky took your face in his hands, kissing your forehead. “This is not how I expected this to go, but oh well.”

Your mouth opened and closed, feeling the woman’s hand leaving your arm. Bucky reached to his back pocket pulling a blue velvet box out. You stared at it as he opened it, revealing a ring. Your jaw slacked and you thought gravity was pulling you to the floor. 

There wasn’t a question, no kneeling. Bucky slid the ring onto your finger without a second thought. You broke out of your trance, hearing cheers all around you, but your brain was scattered, eyes burning. Black dots closing in before your eyes as you hit the floor. 

You awoke with a start, but instead of hard wooden floor underneath you, you felt soft material hugging your figure. Warmth encapsulated your body. Your eyes drifted to your body, an arm wrapped around you. Reaching out to remove yourself from the restraint, a glimmer caught your attention. You raised your hand examining the ring, wrapped tightly around your finger. The diamond worth more than your life.

Your eyes travelled up the arm, shoulder, neck and finally to his face. Bucky’s face was too close to yours, laying on his stomach, eyes closed.  A shaky breath left between your teeth, quiet enough to not disturb the wolf sleeping soundly. You squeezed your eyes shut, turning your head. 

You sat at the edge of the bed. Bucky was long gone when you woke up from your sleep. After a deep breath in, you rose from the bed, walking over to the closet. 

It was strange seeing you so dolled up. The version in the bathroom mirror was foreign, someone you knew long ago. But now she’s a ghost standing beside you. 

You left to Bucky’s office, a walk of shame. You didn’t know if going back to work was a good idea, but you needed to leave the house. Clint stood at the door, killing machine in hand. 

“I need to speak to Bucky.” You said with confidence, or what little was left of it.

“He’s not here.” Clint looked down to you and you swore you almost missed it as he looked ahead again down the hallway. The glimmer of sadness, pity. 

You nodded your head even though he wasn’t paying attention. 

You took a different route, far away from the church. You were sure that Lana’s body had started to decompose because the stench of rotting flesh whipping in your face each time the wind blew. As your cafe came into view, you almost forgot what it looked like. The lights out, chairs on top of the tables. 

You got everything ready for business, even sweeping the floors, baking more strawberry pastries. The distraction felt good, empowering. A sense of control. A purpose. 

The bell above the door chimed and for the first time in forever, a smile broke out on your face unknowingly. Mrs. Wilson stepped in with her purple coat and yellow purse. You wiped the powdered sugar on your apron. 

“I was surprised to see the light on! I missed your baked good, dear.” Mrs. Wilson fished a piece of paper out from her purse, dictating what she needed. There wasn’t a lot you could offer her, but you managed to bake a few bread loafs and scones along with her favourite pastries. 

You packed up her items and took her money. “My dear,” Mrs. Wilson spoke softly. “I am so sorry about what happened.” You raised your head, smiling weakly.

“Look, Y/n.” Her addressing you with your name was weird, making you stare at her with her change in hand. You could’t read her face, detect a particular emotion. “I heard you are going to get married to Bucky, but I fear that you won’t survive him.”

“What do you mean?”

“You were not made for this life, Y/n. I know Lana’s cousin, he’s been running the flower shop since you know, but he has to return to the city this week on Saturday. Dear, I could talk to him and ask to take you with him.”

Your jaw fell open. Could it be that Mrs. Wilson wants to help you get away from Bucky, from Dawn and a possible marriage? Words didn’t come, you stared at her with your lips parted. If you declined, you might as well pull out the rope. But if she’s lying to you, Bucky would personally hang you with his own hands. 

“I’ll come back on Friday and you tell me what you decided on.” Mrs. Wilson took the change from your hand, holding on to it, giving your hand a tight squeeze. “He’s leaving at two on Saturday.”

Mrs. Wilson took her bag and looked back to you before she disappeared through the door. 

You didn’t realise you were crying, holding onto the counter. You don’t have a lot of time to think, Friday being the day after tomorrow. Your mind was shattered. You were sure that you could hold your breath for another day, until the nightshade would take you away. 

[ next ]

[peralta-guaranteed]

Can you hear me, S.O.S., help me put my mind to rest

“Sorry they made you come out for something so stupid.” He mumbles, finally, in the elevator up to his apartment. “It’s not stupid.” “It’s 1am on a sunday, I’m pretty sure you had better things to do than pick up a beat-up co-worker and buy him his drugs.” He shoots her a quick glance as they get out on his floor. “I’m gonna pay you back for those, of course.” She doesn’t even acknowledge it, because they both know he can’t afford it. “It’s actually 12:30, and my partner needed my help. So there’s definitely nothing better to do with my time.”

---*---

Amy is Jake’s emergency contact on his medical file, which makes sense if you think about them as the lovey-dovey couple that they are now. She has been his emergency contact since two months after he’d met her, which makes less sense, until you realise that she is reliable, comforting, supportive Amy, and he is Jake, and he has never not been yearning for her attention just a little bit.

read it on AO3

 “Jesus Christ, Jake. I know you’re bad at paperwork, but this is a horror show.”

 Amy rubs her eyes with the palms of her hands, trying to stare down the little stars that appear in her vision from doing so. Jake, across the room on his worn-down couch, eating something very sweet and very crumbly - a cannoli, maybe? it was gone too fast for Amy to recognise - simply shrugs.

 “You don’t have to do it, Ames, you know that.”

 She does. She knows. She offered, after all.

 Maybe it was too early for something like this, anyway. They’d been officially together for barely a month, a stage where most other couples would still be discovering each other’s little likes and dislikes and trying to hide some imperfections from the other. Definitely not the stage of going through their partner’s chaotic mountain of very personal paperwork and files. Yet here she is, sorting through insurances (the rare few that Jake actually has, mostly because he’s legally required to), licenses, bills and Academy certificates.

 It was a mess that had Amy’s fingers itching every time she saw it, she reasons, and nothing they’d done in their month together really fit the usual trajectory of a relationship anyway, based on the fact that they already knew each other like the back of their hands. So when Jake had groaned about another forgotten bill from the mail tub that Amy forced him to steadily work through every time she came over, she’d offered to get things straightened out for him once and for all.

 She’s not sure if she regrets it now. Thumbing through a pile of loose papers that turn out to be several medical records from his injuries as a rookie cop, she realises that maybe this is a bit too personal, a step too close for what they have so far. Would she be willing to share this kind of information with a boyfriend of four weeks? she wonders as she skims over a page detailing the frankly insane amount of medication he was supposed to take after another week-long stay at the hospital. She’s quite sure he took barely half of it, gritting his teeth and moaning about stupid doctors instead, even though she didn’t know him back then - she knows him too well now not to immediately picture a slightly younger Jake with a list of weird-sounding pills he couldn’t pronounce and a giant frown on his face at the pharmacy.

 “I don’t have to- I mean, I can stop. If you don’t want me to do this.”

 Jake, finished with whatever he was eating, leans back on the couch to face her at the tiny table in his kitchenette. He gives her the patented Peralta-grin, the sweetness only heightened by some leftover cream-filling (definitely a cannoli) on his right cheek. She has half a mind to get up and lick it off, but she’s blocked in by paper piles all around her.

 “And keep Amy Santiago from a chance to file paperwork? Pretty sure that’d be grounds for a break-up. I’m surprised you haven’t run out to buy me a filing cabinet filled with all sorts of folders and tabs and whatnot.”

 She lets her eyes drop back down to the papers in her hands, trying hard not to show him the blush creeping onto her face. She had been making a mental list of what binders she should buy to really get this in order.

 “I’m just saying, if you don’t want me to see some of this- it’s very private information-”

 “Babe.” He still grins, and Amy thinks about how that pet name has settled between them far too quickly and far too comfortably as well. “Pretty sure nothing in that mountain of papers is any more embarrassing than all the stuff you already know and tease me about all the time.”

 “True. It’s not like I’m going to find out here why you think using the same soap for your dishes and your shower routine sometimes is an okay thing to do.” She grins back before filing away another old medical record, suddenly getting stuck on one little line at the top of it. “Jake, please tell me Stevie Schillens is      not     still your emergency contact.”

 “What? No. Of course he isn't. They make you update your info with every promotion at work.” That alone tells her that if ‘they’ didn’t, Jake would definitely still have a co-worker from his starting days on his files rather than, say, his current sergeant or a close friend. She shuffles through a few papers to find a more recent record.

 “Who is it, then? Might be good to update again and reconsider, promotion or not. Your mom is like half an hour’s drive away if anything happened, Terry can’t really get away from his family if it’s after hours. I wouldn’t trust Charles not to break down worse than you if he ever gets a call, and Rosa- I guess she’s responsible enough, but she might hurt you more for giving out her phone number-”

 “Really, Ames?” His voice is so soft from the couch, and when she finally looks up again, his face has that strange tilt to it, between affectionate and amused. As if she’d just said the most ridiculous, yet adorable thing in the universe. As if the answer wasn’t completely obvious.

 She looks down again at the paper she picked up, a medical report from a while ago, and as she reads the little line on top, she remembers.

-*-

 “Amy Santiago?”

 “This is she.”

 The voice down the line is as foreign as the number on her cell had been when she picked it up. She didn’t get many calls on her private phone anyway, apart from her family, and they were not the kind of people who’d call her at midnight on a saturday.

 “This is NewYork-Presbyterian Brooklyn Methodist Hospital. We’re calling on behalf of Jake Peralta? You’re listed as his emergency contact, but there is no additional info on your status-”

 She’s up off the couch and into her bedroom to change into jeans before the nurse on the line can even finish.

 “I’m his partner. Work. Partner. We’re detectives. NYPD.” Amy almost barks down the line while wedging the phone between her shoulder and ear to pull down her sweatpants. Jake would obviously carry his badge even when he wasn’t on duty like tonight, but maybe they hadn’t found it, maybe he hadn’t been able to give them that info... and while it was slightly upsetting to think about, she knew that the hospital would give fast-tracks and special treatments to active cops, and if that was something that could help him now, the morality of it all didn’t matter one bit to her. “What’s happened? Is he- is Jake okay?”

Obviously he’s not, you idiot, he’s in the hospital and not present enough to give them any information so they have to call his emergency contact, that is the furthest from okay that he could be-  

 Her inner scolding is interrupted by the very calm, very soothing voice of the nurse.

 “He should be fine. He was brought in ten minutes ago. Somebody assaulted him, but a nearby officer intervened and called for an ambulance. We just needed to check because his files are very… incomplete.” Amy hears the rustling of paper and the slight distaste tinging the nurse’s voice and makes a mental note to sit down with Jake and make him update all his information as soon as possible. “And he’s not clear enough to answer any questions due to the painkillers. Are you aware of any allergies or problems that could arise from medications? He doesn’t need surgery, but we have to treat some lacerations and other wounds.”

 “He’s not on any permanent medications. He had to take Vicodin and Heparin after a surgery four months ago.” She replies immediately and without a doubt, remembering her last trip to the hospital with him while she slips into a jacket and checks her bag for her purse and car keys. “Oh, he has asthma, but hasn’t had an attack in years, so he doesn’t use his inhaler regularly or anything. And he’s allergic to bees, but I don’t think that matters?”

 “No.” the nurse almost chuckles. “But the rest is very helpful to know, thanks. Will you be able to arrange for someone to monitor him for the next 24 hours? Otherwise we’ll need to prepare a room for him. He keeps saying you’ll pick him up, but we weren’t sure-”    “I’m on my way.”

-*-

 She speed-walks to the front desk of the emergency room not ten minutes later.

 “Hello. My name is Amy Santiago. I’m here for Jake Peralta - he was brought in twenty minutes ago?”

 “Ah! The lovely lady detective.” The nurse - it’s a different one from the phone call, she can tell from the voice - gives her a weird sort of smile. “Yes, he’s been asking for you non-stop. But the painkillers should have worn off by now, so he might be more coherent.”

 She tries to ignore that comment, she really does. But it’s not easy.

 “The doctor’s going over aftercare with him, so he might be a few more minutes. You can take a seat if you’d like.”

 Amy glances over to the waiting area, full of people even at this time of night, before turning back to the desk. “Uhm, the nurse on the phone said he needs to be monitored for 24 hours - do you know why? Is there anything I need to be aware of?”

 The lady gives her a once-over before another strange smile, like she knows more than Amy does (which, logically, in this situation she does, but it feels like she knows something else, too).

 “He’s had a minor concussion. Nothing to worry about, but he might be a bit disoriented or woozy, so it’s best not to leave him alone. And if he throws up or feels faint, you should bring him back immediately. He has a check-up appointment to remove his stitches in three days. Everything else you need to know will be on his report.”

 “Sure.” Amy nods, and hopes that Jake doesn’t lose track of that report on his way from the examination room to the waiting area - it wouldn’t be the first time he manages to lose paperwork in record time. She gives the still smiling nurse another nod before finally heading to sit down and pull out the crossword puzzle she was halfway done with when she got the call.

 “Hey.”

 “Oh! Hey!” Amy practically drops her puzzle and jumps from her seat in the waiting room once she sees him standing in front of her.

 Jake looks a mess. His leather jacket is ripped on one shoulder seam, and his jeans are covered in grime. There’s an awful lot of blood on his hoodie - probably from his nose, which is covered in a bandage - and his face is more red-bruised than pale in most places. There’s another, bigger bandage over a stitched-up gash across his left cheekbone, the accompanying eye blood-shot, and his lip is split in at least two places.

 “You look like hell.” She blurts out before thinking and immediately scolds herself, but it actually earns her a little laugh.

 “You’re looking lovely as well, Santiago.” His eyes wander over her messy ‘I had to get here in under ten minutes on a saturday couch night’ look, including a steadily unraveling hair-bun and oversized sweater.

 “Sorry, I mean-”

 “S’alright.” He drops into the seat next to her and winces. More bruises, Amy thinks.

 “What happened?” She sits back down as he leans forward, only now noting the clipboard and pen in his hands (which are equally roughed up, knuckles worn down, with scabs already forming. Whatever had happened, he sure hadn’t given in easily).

 “Some big-shot guy whose dealer I arrested last week spotted me coming out of a bar. Decided the best way to deal with his crippling drug addiction was to beat the shit out of the cop who’d cut off his supply. He was, like, a giant of a dude.” Jake puffs up his chest and raises his arms to show the supposed size of the man, and Amy can only nod. “Luckily he was too stupid to check for surveillance on the very public street we were on, and there was a beat cop on the corner who cuffed him pretty quickly.” He looks down again at the clipboard, and tries to scratch his nose before remembering there’s a bandage in the way. “He also called an ambulance, which I think was a bit over the top, but I couldn’t really breathe to tell him no.”

 Amy gives him a quizzical look, and he sighs before explaining.

 “Fucker punched me in the chest so hard I had an asthma attack.”

 She snorts. She doesn’t want to, but it’s not really something you can stop, even as she clutches her hand over her mouth in embarrassment.

 “I’m sorry, Jake, I shouldn’t- it’s not funny-”

 “Well.” He grins at her, far softer than usual, but that might just be to not upset his split lip. “It is a little bit funny, I guess.”

 “Do you have an inhaler at work? You should take one with you, you know, even if you haven’t had problems for a while, you never know when they show up again, case in point, and people might not know what to do - maybe I should get an inhaler too, for when we’re working together, and make sure Charles knows how-”

 “Hey.” He interrupts her verbal stream of consciousness by holding the clipboard up to her, and she grabs it reflexively the same way she does when he sneakily slips her his unfinished paperwork. “Can you help me fill out these stupid forms? I think I’m still a bit high from whatever they gave me back there, or maybe I just don’t know half of these words anyway.”

 She grabs the pen from him as well, clicks it twice, and gets to work. She doesn’t even have to ask him about most of the fields he’s left blank, and after a minute or two, the file is full with both his chicken scratch and her perfect handwriting. She’s filled out so many of these forms for him before, she could probably do it in her sleep. Which would be quite a worrying thought if it wasn’t so weirdly sweet at the same time - she realises that he has never, not once, asked anyone else for a ride to the hospital for work injuries, at least when he had the choice (and luckily, he was barely ever so hurt that he couldn’t, that any one of them had to jump into the back of the ambulance with him, but most of those times it was her as well).

 “Here.” She hands the file back to him. “Get that to the nurses, and we can go back to your place so you can catch up on sleep. Do you have your medical report?”

 He nods and swaps it for the clipboard in her hand in a well-set routine they both know, getting up to hand it in while she does a quick read through. There are not that many after-care instructions - the usual things for concussions she’s aware of, a healing balm for the bruising, replacing the bandages regularly, and another truckload of painkillers and medicine. The doctors sure do seem to love pumping him full with it whenever they get a chance, and he sure does love to ignore them and not take any of it. She still makes a mental note to swing by the pharmacy on their way home to pick it all up when he gets back and gestures for her to leave.

 He does a dramatic turn and bow to say good-bye to the front desk as they pass it, earning himself a giggle from the ladies and swaying only a little after he gets back up. Amy has her hands around his elbow immediately, steadying him and leading him outside - they did say he would be woozy - and the nurse gives her another one of those smiles. She’s still not quite sure if she likes them or not.

-*-

 They stop at the late-night-pharmacy as planned - Jake obeys orders to stay in the car to make it all quicker, but insists on getting a bag of sour gummies as a reward, and Amy sighs as he tears into it right away, probably covering her whole passenger seat with the powder - but the rest of the drive stays quiet. It feels more concerning to Amy than it should. He’s a blabbermouth at the best of times, should be even more so after being loaded up with painkillers and coming down from the adrenaline high of a fight, asthma attack and hospital treatment all at once. But right now he seems utterly silenced, fidgety and... nervous.

 “Sorry they made you come out for something so stupid.” He mumbles, finally, in the elevator up to his apartment.

 “It’s not stupid.”

 “It’s 1am on a sunday, I’m pretty sure you had better things to do than pick up a beat-up co-worker and buy him his drugs.” He shoots her a quick glance as they get out on his floor. “I’m gonna pay you back for those, of course.” She doesn’t even acknowledge it, because they both know he can’t afford it.

 “It’s actually 12:30, and my partner needed my help. So there’s definitely nothing better to do with my time.”

 He mumbles something else as they step through the door, but she doesn’t catch it. She helps him slip out of his jacket instead, reminds herself to google a good tailor that works with leather as she notices the ripped shoulder while hanging it up and turns around to look at the blood-stained hoodie he’s taking off.

 “I don’t think that thing is salvageable.”

 “Damn, and it was one of my favourites, too.” He pouts, playfully, before remembering his injured lip.

 “All your hoodies are your favourite.”

 “Am I not allowed to love them all equally?”

 Amy is already in his kitchen not answering that, instead bundling the hoodie up and into a trash bag she’s pulled from a shelf. She’ll take it down to the dumpster with her when she leaves tomorrow, or else he might try and wash it.

 “You don’t have to do all this, you know.” Jake says as she walks past him to put the bag on the front mat. “I can take care of my clothes.”

 “Sorry.” She halts and takes off her own jacket and shoes, instead. It’s a strange situation - they’re both used to Jake being a lot more inhibited from medication or alcohol when she literally has to bring him home, usually hanging onto Amy’s shoulders and babbling nonsense while she shuffles him into bed. But now he’s standing up all on his own, silent again, looking around the place as if he doesn’t know what to do in his own home with Amy as a not-quite-guest. Neither does she.

 Another beat of silence passes between them before Jake clears his throat and bumbles on.

 “You should- ...do you want something to drink? I think I still have some of that herbal stuff you brought-”

 “You should-” Amy starts at almost the same time, silencing them both again for another beat. “You should change out of these” she gestures to his dirty clothes “and put the balm on your bruises and get ready for bed. You’re gonna crash from the adrenaline soon.”

 It seems like he wants to say something else, but the silence is deafening by now, so he only nods and grabs stuff out of the pharmacy bag before heading to the bathroom.

 “I’m gonna grab a spare shirt for me to sleep in, if that’s okay?” She calls after him and only hears ‘Sure!’ before the door closes.

 Amy realises, as she turns around for the dresser in the one room apartment he inherited from Gina a while ago, that she’s never been here before without some medical emergency clouding her vision. She knew his old place - from a few late evenings working on case files (which he illegally took home, but neither of them mentioned that), and a movie marathon when he was extremely sick and had begged her over on her day off because he was convinced he was ‘going to die any minute’ and didn’t want the neighbours to find his ‘decomposing corpse later in the week’ - and he’d been over at hers far more times than she could count (her place was nicer, she had actual cable tv,, and a working kitchen for him to rustle around in for random late night snacks).

 But this apartment? It seems strangely foreign now, without a drunk or medicated Jake needing her help, without the usual distraction of getting him into bed, getting his shoes and jacket off, forcing him awake to take some aspirin and then settling down on the couch to his snoring. She feels like a guest instead, someone who doesn’t know if they’re allowed to sit down or get a drink from the kitchen without being invited. That’s nonsense, she thinks - she’s here to help like always, and there’s no way Jake would care if she turned his entire kitchen upside down and re-organised it or fell asleep on the couch right then and there.

 Loud grumbling and ranting from the bathroom pulls her out of her thoughts, before she can even decide to pick up the spare bedding set for the couch she knows he keeps in his closet.

 “Everything alright?” She knocks on the door, but barely waits for the angry ‘No!’ before opening it. Her breath catches.

 Jake’s in his pajama pants, and - that’s it. She can see the muscles in his bare back flex as well as the reflection of his front in the mirror, as he tries to bend around in some convoluted way to reach the large, purple bruise that travels from his waist to his back.

 “Stupid doctors and their stupid lotions and stupid ideas for people who can’t do yoga or some shit to reach their own back-” he mumbles, but Amy doesn’t hear much of it. She’s seen Jake shirtless before - you don’t go on stake-outs or undercover assignments without catching each other in different states of undress at some point - and every time has been a secret memory, quickly stolen and hidden somewhere deep in her mind, to be dusted off and remembered at the most inopportune times or when she feels particularly alone after a drink (or maybe four). This time will probably be no different, she thinks as she notes the soft trail of hair under his belly button, down to the sweatpants that definitely sit lower than any jeans she’s seen him shirtless in before.

 She has to act, she reprimands herself, before he notices, before he sees her staring or realises she’s blushing, so she steps up to the sink and pulls the tub of healing balm from his hands.

 “It’s not the doctors’ fault you always get injured in inconvenient places.” She answers his rant while dipping her fingers into the lotion and carefully applying it to the bruise, trying not to rub or press too hard for it to hurt.

 Jake doesn’t breathe the entire time her fingers are on his skin.

 “There you go.” Amy closes the little tub and puts it next to the sink, eyeing his bruised face and completely ignoring the flush that is hiding underneath it. “Lemme change your bandages before you sleep, too. You already got them dirty.”

 “I can do that-”

 “You’re going to rip it straight off and disturb your stitches, most likely.” Her hands are already at the corner of his cheek, carefully prying off the tape and strips, and he forgets how to breathe again.

 She replaces the bandages just as carefully and leaves him to the rest of his night time routine, filling a glass of water in the kitchenette and coming back with a packet of Vicodin at the same moment he steps out of the bathroom, finally pulling a shirt over his head.

 “You should take some painkillers before you sleep. It’ll help.”

 “Oh goodie.” He quips and eyes the water. “Drugs! Because the injuries totally weren’t caused because of somebody off their drugs!”

 “These are prescription drugs. It’s different. You know that.”

 He still stares warily at the package in her hand, but another shuffle forward from her and he grabs them and pops one into his mouth, grimacing after downing it (whether that grimace is for the medicine or the water he actually has to drink, she’s not sure).

 “Good boy.” Amy jokes, and he’s glad he’s already swallowed so he can’t choke on his water from hearing that. “Now get some sleep in. I’ll be down here on the couch if you need anything, or feel worse.”

 “Don’t go-” He stutters and stares right past her head at the aforementioned couch. “I mean, you don’t- you don’t have to sleep on the couch, I know how uncomfortable it is- you can sleep with me- I mean, in the bed, with me in the bed, I mean- there’s enough space- with the extra blanket- I don’t-”

 He interrupts his own rambling with a deep sigh and a ‘Jesus, Jake’ before Amy can stifle another giggle. He feels just as awkward with her here as she does, and it almost makes the whole thing more comfortable. They’ll just have to power through the nonsense and get back to their normal friendly behaviour, she reasons.

 “If you really don’t mind. I’m gonna get the stuff from the closet.”

 He’s already bundled up under his own covers when she comes back with the heap of blanket and pillows for her side of the bed.

 It’s not her side, of course, it’s just the part of the bed he’s freed up from his own duvet, and that she’s going to sleep on now for one night, but it’s not like they have sides in their bed like-

power through the nonsense, she repeats as she settles down and stares over at him. His eyes are closed, his breath already slowing down into a sleepy pattern, and despite all the bruising and bandaging, his face looks so soft when he’s asleep. It’s a sight she could definitely get used to.

-*-

 She remembers waking up the next morning, far too early for the late night they’d had. She remembers how wonderfully warm he was, hurt face buried in her shoulder and softly breathing across his shirt that she’d borrowed. She remembers her heart racing as she tried to untangle herself from the cuddling position their sleeping bodies had found themselves in, and she remembers the soft, quiet, confused ‘Ames..?’ when he woke up a few hours later and found the bed empty, with her already sitting at the tiny kitchen table she was sitting at right now.

 Looking back at the report of the night she just remembered, the little line of her name and phone number at the top seem to glare at her, scolding her for her stupid question about emergency contact changes. She can hear Jake quietly laugh before she looks up.

 “What, did you genuinely think you weren’t my first pick for emergencies?” Jake is still smiling at her, and she realises he obviously didn’t go down that little trip down memory lane with her. Maybe he was even still at the point of their conversation where Stevie Schillens was a viable option for an emergency contact as well. “Like, even without everything else going on with us… You love filling out forms, you’re responsible enough to actually take care of an emergency situation, and you know about all my stupid medical info better than me, because you keep driving me to the hospital from work.”

 “You’re saying you made a serious decision like this based on actual logical evidence instead of one of your ‘gut feelings’?” Amy’s eyebrow raises almost involuntary. Present-Jake, maybe. Past-Jake? Definitely not.

 Present-Jake can only shrug before scratching his nose, a subtle tell that she's identified by now for when he’s embarrassed, as if he’s trying to hide his face before speaking again.

 “Might’ve also liked the idea of having you in the ER with me... instead of a freaked-out Charles or something.”

 She smiles at what sounds like only half-explained truth and decides not to push it. She knows what he means, anyway. She knows, by now, that he would always ask the nurses for her when he was being treated, would always ramble on about her when blissed out on extra-strong painkillers, about how smart she was and how much she would help him and how much he hated hospitals, but not quite so much when he knew she was outside the room waiting for him.

 “Okay, but when exactly did you put me in as your emergency contact?” She puts down the last file and maneuvers around the stacks of yet unsorted papers to get over to him and the couch.

 “Eh, ‘bout two months after we were partnered up.”

 “Two- we didn’t even like each other then!”

 “Wrong. You didn’t like me.” Another nose-scratch before Amy can sit down next to him, cradling his face in her hand and smiling again at how quickly he leans into it.

 “Aw, babe. I’m sorry, that was rude of me.”

 “I mean, I didn’t like-like you then. Just for the record. I wasn’t that desperate, okay? I just thought you were... neat. And really good to have around for emergencies. Probably should’ve asked you. For all I know you would’ve stranded your annoying new partner at the hospital and pretended like you never heard of me.”

 “I would have never done that!” Amy glowers at him. “Just for the record as well. I would’ve absolutely taken care of you, even though I didn’t like you or found you super annoying.”

 “I know you’re trying to be nice right now, babe, but you’re really not doing it well.” Jake grins at her again, and she can’t help but pull him towards her to kiss that snarky grin away. It reappears as soon as her lips leave his, unfortunately, but it is decidedly less snarky and far more dopey.

 “And I did show up when they called me after that drug addict attacked you, remember? I was so worried when I got that call, because I didn’t even know I was your contact, and I thought something horrible must’ve happened that they had to call me. And then it was just a fist fight.”

 “Sorry.” He mumbles. “It was a really stupid reason to call an emergency contact. Shoulda filled my forms out better.”

 “Maybe.” She smiles as she strokes across his cheek, noting the tiny scar that is still there from the stitches he had to get. “But I’m glad they did, anyway. You would’ve tried to drive yourself home and clean your wounds with mouthwash, or something.”

 “Maybe.” He echoes with an equal smile. “You do make a better home-nurse than I would, I guess. Even though you were missing the sexy outfit.”

 He earns himself a punch to the arm for that before she goes back to playing with his hair, soothing him enough that he drops the joking facade.

 “I was really happy you showed up, by the way. And took me home. And didn’t leave.”

 “Again: I would’ve never left you or not taken care of you. We’re partners, for God’s sake. What would the Captain have said if he found out I left you home alone with a concussion after you asked me for help?”

 “Yep. Holt’s imminent disappointment. Definitely the only reason I hoped you’d stay.” His smile is crooked, but Amy only continues stroking through his hair, and it quickly turns the uncomfortable smile into a content sigh. “I was so… nervous. Because... you can probably guess that I did like-like you by then. Like, you were right here in my apartment, and I wasn’t out on painkillers, but I also wasn’t awake enough to like, entertain you or anything, and I was so worried that you were already annoyed because of the whole situation and I would do something or say something stupid, but you were still there, and then you helped me with the bandages, and the, the lotion, and I think I remember the worst invitation to my bed I’ve ever given anyone, and when I woke up I thought you’d finally left, but you were just in the kitchen, and I-” He sighs again, closing his eyes and leaning forward to rest his forehead against her shoulder. “I was always torn between wanting to kiss you and wanting to apologise for being so much trouble.”

 “God, we really were hopelessly lost on each other, weren’t we?” Amy chuckles, her hand now carding through the hair on his nape rather than the curls on top.

 “I was definitely hopeless, in every sense of the word. I think I’d rather describe you as oblivious.”

 “Ooooh, good word!” She happily praises him, before realising just how sad that statement of his actually was. He lifts his head again to look at her. “I... actually, I wasn’t really oblivious at all. I’d say I was just as hopeless as you. I just hid it a bit better.”

 “But you were always there.” He smiles at her, his head sideways now, leaning against the back of the couch, and it’s so soft and comforting and homely she wants to sink into him. “For every hospital trip I needed. Maybe that’s kinda why I made you my emergency contact too. I knew you’d come no matter what, and I knew you wouldn’t leave. Whether I annoyed you like crazy or we barely knew each other or we were already good friends or we were not quite on speaking terms due to all the awkwardness.”

 She leans her head next to him, her hands wrapping around his folded in his lap.

 “I’ve got your back. Always.” She whispers, and it’s a lot more than the supportive, yet simple promise of work partners. She thinks of the many times people had left him, the many things he’d been through alone, the lonely walks to an empty house or quiet cab rides back to a dark apartment, the dinner’s in the microwave notes and the sorry, can’t tonight texts, and the few times she has actually left him alone too, not knowing yet that when he was running off scared, what he really needed was someone to run after him and tell him it’s okay.

 Their relationship is only a month old, officially, but she knows that it’s far older than that. She knows that it’s been growing and changing for years, and she knows, in that moment, that it will grow for many, many years to come. For forever, maybe, if they’re lucky. But no matter what it will change into in the future - she also knows, without a doubt in her heart, that she’ll be there. The way he knows she would, the way he’s known since two months after they met.

[amerie-wadia]

jj spends all the restitution money on a hot tub and misses his hearing. he doesn’t tell pope. 

a mayward one-shot that has been floating around my head since the first time I watched the show. i've read so many post-canon mayward fics (and they’re all great) but none of the ones i’ve read really address jj’s restitution money. i wanted this to be longer but i hate writing about legal stuff since i don’t understand it, so this is somewhat short. i don’t think i’m gonna make a part two, but i might write like an established relationship drabble in this same series/universe/canon. 

Pope knows it’s a bad idea to go to JJ’s house. He’s been there a handful of times before and usually Luke is off playing poker, working, or getting drunk at his favorite bar. This time is different, though. This time, it’s been two weeks since he’s heard from JJ and JJ has no idea Pope is coming. The last time Pope showed up out of the blue JJ was sending bullets through his childhood teddy bear.

When Pope parked his car in the driveway of beaten down grass and sand, it was like looking at still water. The only movement or sign of life surrounding the house was the soft sea breeze rippling through the branches and the tattered screens that no longer stuck to their frames. Pope hesitated before stepping out of the car.

Luke is a scary dude. Luke scares Pope more than anybody on the island and when he opens the front door, he looks pissed.

“The hell do you want?”

Pope figured it was obvious—that he had come for JJ—but Luke didn’t appear to be connecting any of the dots. Pope glanced over Luke’s shoulder, he had never seen the inside of JJ’s house. Dishes, dust balls, and bottles littered the living room where Pope could see. The smell was strong and Pope couldn’t tell what it was. It didn’t smell like weed, but it also didn’t smell like a cigarette. He figured it must be a mix of sweat, alcohol, and garbage. The only thing he could even compare it to was bile.

“Is JJ home?”

“No.” Short and stark. His eyes didn’t even blink and he looked ready to close the door so Pope quickly interjected, still keeping his distance.

“When will he be home?”

“He’s not.”

Which wasn’t even a full sentence and Pope couldn’t figure out what Luke meant by it.

“What?”

Luke rolled his eyes and sighed as if Pope was a nail under his foot.

“He’s not coming home, kid. So get out of here.”

“Why? Where is he?” Pope knew he shouldn’t push, especially with someone like Luke, but his answers were vague and peculiar and the last time Pope saw JJ was the night John B died. He needed to make sure JJ was okay.

“Wadesboro.”

Oh. Oh shit.

“What? Why?”

“Kid, I don’t have time for the interrogation. I have a business to run, so you get off my property before you make me mad.”

Pope thought Luke had been mad the whole time but now his fists were clenched and as much as Pope needed to keep asking, he knew the answers had already stopped coming.

“Thank you.”

“Get out of here.”

Luke had disappeared into the house by the time Pope was starting up the engine. Wadesboro? How the hell had JJ managed to get himself thrown in juvie in the two weeks since Pope had seen him? Not that JJ getting arrested shocked Pope, per se, but still it shocked him. Pope pulled out of the driveway and went fifteen over the speed limit until he got to Kie’s house.

“Kiara!” He called out as he padded his knuckles against her front door, ringing the bell enough times that his own father would give him a soft smack on the back of his head. “Kiara, open the door!”

He rang the bell two more times before the door opened and Kiara’s wide eyes met his own.

“What’s wrong?” she asked immediately, reaching out to tug him inside. Pope realized his hands were shaking a little bit when she wove her own through his.

“It’s JJ.”

“You finally heard from him?” She pulled him up the stairs and over to her bedroom. It was only the second time Pope had ever been in it and the lines were too straight, the floors too clean, and her shelves too neat for the room to feel like Kie’s.

“I went to his house,” he admitted and as Kie’s mouth opened wide to reprimand him, he continued. “He wasn’t home and his dad told me that he’s in Wadesboro.”

“Wadesboro?” Pope could tell she really didn’t understand because she still looked angry.

“Juvie.”

Her face dropped and she plopped down beside Pope.

“Why?”

“He wouldn’t tell me. What do we do?” Pope could feel the panic in his voice and Kie held onto his hand again and gave it a squeeze.

“We can use my dad’s lawyer. We can go visit him.”

“When can we visit him?”

“I don’t know. Here,” she said, opening up her phone to Google. “I’ll look up their visiting hours and we can go see him.”

“Do you think he’s scared?” Pope asked, because it felt wrong to ask if he was okay. He knew Kiara didn’t actually have a good answer for him. She just nodded and continued to type with her thumbs.

It calms Pope to watch her focused, watch her biting her lip. She finds the hours and tells Pope that next weekend they can go.

“That’s in four days away!” Pope exclaims, as if Kie doesn’t know and as if being upset could solve his problem. Usually, Pope is the one finding the solution but right now all he can think about is JJ sitting in a prison cell and an orange jumpsuit.

“Oh wait,” Kie interjects, softer and it worries Pope. “No, we can’t. He has to put us on a visitation list otherwise we can’t see him.”

“How do we contact him to put us on a visitation list if we can’t see him?”

“I don’t know.”

“Kie?”

“Yeah?” she asks, finally drawing her attention away from the phone and back to Pope. He feels himself near tears and he thinks she might be too. “Do you think this is my fault?”

“What? Of course, not,” she insists, her voice gentle and high and she squeezes his hand. “Why would you even think that?”

“I let him take the fall for me. What if he couldn’t pay back the restitutions and now he’s in jail because of me?”

“Juvie. He’s in juvie not prison.”

“it’s the same thing.”

“No, it’s not.”

“We have to help him.”

Her face softens again and she just nods, resting her head on his shoulder as if the idea how helping JJ has already exhausted her.

“We should talk to your dad’s lawyer, then.”

“Yeah?”

“Maybe he can get us on a visitation list, at least.”

———————————————————————

“Who are you?” JJ asks when somebody who is absolutely not his lawyer takes a seat on the other side of the table. There is nobody else there but JJ can see the guard’s shoulder through the little square window on the door. His right hand is cuffed to the table and he’s sweating through his clothes and even he can smell his own odor. The man sitting down beside him has a suit and gelled hair and wristwatch. He smiles slightly at JJ and it makes him squirm.

“My name is Gabe Walters. I am your friend Kiara Carrera’s father’s lawyer. They’re really worried about you, bud.”

Bud sounds weird. Bud makes JJ feel even more uncomfortable and he wishes he had something in his hands to fiddle with.

“I already have a lawyer.”

“You have a public defender, is that right?”

JJ nods because, to be honest, he doesn’t know if that’s what the first guy was called. The new lawyer sounds very confident when he says it, so JJ just goes along with it.

“The Carrera’s would like for me to represent you. I think I can get you out of here. Is that something you would like?”

The way he worded that comment was sneaky and JJ knows this guy already thinks he’s a loose cannon. Maybe he is a loose cannon. He doesn’t want a pity lawyer. He has no idea how Kiara even found out he was in. juvie.

“I already have a lawyer,” he says again, quieter, because he really doesn’t know what to do and the guard outside has turned around to glance inside the room and it’s distracting. JJ adjusts the way he sitting and kicks as his toes.

“I can’t force you to do anything. But I have a lot more time and more resources than the lawyer you have now. I know, Jim, he’s a good guy. But he has a pile of cases so high he can’t see the top.”

JJ shrugged, wanting to say yes but also knowing very well that he couldn’t. He didn’t have the money to pay the restitution let alone pay a fancy lawyer to get him out of juvie for not having enough money.

“I can’t afford it anyway,” he finally said after a minute of silence that he was dying to break.

“I don’t think you understood, son. You wouldn’t owe me any money. The Carrera’s want to cover the legal fees.”

Fuck no.

“No, that’s okay.”

“Are you sure?”

“They shouldn’t have to pay anything.”

The lawyer sighed and rested his hands on the table. He was looking too deeply into JJ’s eyes so JJ reverted his gaze down to his lap, all too aware of how grimy and tired he looked. It was pathetic.

“I know how important pride can be, especially when you’re in a place like this where they’ll try to strip you of every ounce of what you’ve got. I sat where you when I was seventeen. I had a shit lawyer and I ended up serving three years for stealing a bag of chips. I didn’t have anybody in my life offering me a hand. You don’t have to take it, I’ll leave right now if you ask. But I’d think all of this over before you make your decision.”

It was patronizing, but comforting. JJ looked up and the lawyer’s eyes were still glued to his own.

“You think you can get me out?” JJ asked softly. The lawyer nodded.

“I can’t make any promises, but I think there’s a very strong possibility I could get you home within the next two weeks.”

Home. JJ wanted nothing more in the world to go home. His bed, his pillow, clean underwear, pooping with the door closed.

“Okay, then.”

“Is that a yes?”

“Yes, sir.”

———————————————————————

Kie’s dad’s lawyer gets her and Pope on the waiting list for the following weekend and she offers to drive since Pope is a terrible driver when he is anxious. Plus, he always goes exactly the speed limit and it makes Kie go ballistic. She picks him up Saturday morning and they stop at McDonald’s on the way there for breakfast.

Normally, Kie has music queued up for long car rides. Today the drive is silent.

After around five hours, they pull up to the detention center. It’s cold and lifeless and wrapped in a snake of barbed wire fences. There are boys outside playing basketball and walking around a track. Kie looks over to Pope and he looks paralyzed.

“If you can’t go in, it’s okay,” she tries to reassure him. She knows how scared he is of the prison. How scared he is to see JJ. She reaches out for his hand.

“I can do it,” he says, voice quiet but determined. Kie just nods and turns off the engine.

It takes them a few minutes to find the correct entrance and then they go through security, sign in, and take a seat in the waiting room. The chairs are made of plastic and leave imprints on Kie’s thighs but she can feel how close they are to JJ. There are a few other people in the waiting room, one looks like a lawyer, there is a set of grandparents, and a woman who is likely somebody’s mother. She’s crying and it makes Kie’s stomach churn. The two guards standing by the door are chatting, laughing. While the woman cries.

“Alright, this way,” a guard finally instructs the two of them down a hall. Kie can see windows beginning to line the wall ahead. It’s the visitation room. Her heartbeat increases and Pope squeezes her hand. “Only thirty seconds of touching, you cannot give him anything, and we have the right to escort you out immediately should the situation escalate.”

Kie isn’t paying attention to what the guard is saying because as he opens up the door to the room she spots a blond head of hair.

“JJ!” Pope cries, both of them dashing toward where JJ is sitting. He stands, turning to look at them, and they both stop in their tracks. He has a dark bruise lining his neck like a noose and his eye is purple. The smell is putrid. He doesn’t move, just blinks as he takes them in. A huge grin grows over his face and Pope throws himself at JJ.

Pope takes all thirty seconds so Kie just gives him the best smile she can muster up and takes a seat beside Pope. JJ won’t stop smiling and Kie wants to smile back, she really does, but he looks to terrible and Pope’s hands are shaking and there are way too many other people in the room.

“Are you okay, dude?” Pope speaks first, voice warm and grounding and it brings Kie out of her head and into the moment.

“Never been better,” JJ lies, giving them a shrug and his smile drops for a moment. She sees the exhaustion and hurt in his eyes before he brings the smile back, even if it’s just for a second it was there. “I mean, it could be a lot worse.”

“How long have you been here?” Kie asks. JJ doesn’t meet her eyes, just looks down at his hands and then up at Pope.

“Only a week.”

“What the hell happened?” she asks when he doesn’t elaborate.

“Missed my hearing. Forfeited my plea deal when I bought that stupid hot tub.”

Kie’s eyes are welling up by how cold his voice sounds. He’s still smiling but his eyes are hollow.

“Why didn’t you tell us?” Pope asks, so delicately that Kie almost didn’t even hear it. “Do they let you use the phone.”

“It costs money to call somebody in a prison.”

“JJ,” Kie melts, feeling a tear roll down her cheek but she tries to wipe it away before anybody noticed. She knew she couldn’t get too emotional right now. She needed to focus on JJ right now.

“Call us tomorrow, yeah?” Pope asks, but it doesn’t sound like a question.

“There won’t be much new to talk about.”

“We’ve missed you.”

Kie nods her head in agreement, not trusting her own voice quite yet. JJ keeps his stupid fake smile on his face and scratches at the back of his neck. Involuntarily, he reminds them both of the bruising around his neck.

“How long are you going to be in here?” Pope asks.

“At least until my next hearing. Maybe longer.”

“When is the hearing? We’ll come,” Kie offered, her voice shaky but she tries to steady it.

“It’s two weeks from tomorrow,” JJ comments and Kie pictures him sitting in a cell and counting down the days. “And thanks, but since I’m under eighteen you actually can’t come.”

Pope lets out a trembling breath and Kie knows how hard he’s fighting not to break down. JJ still sounds and looks lifeless, hiding behind his smile.

There’s yelling from across the room and the guards are rushing over to break it up. They announce that visiting hours are over because of the fight and JJ loses his fake smile. The guards step closer to escort Pope and Kiara out but before they arrive JJ grabs a hold of Pope and tucks his head against his shoulder. Pope holds onto him for a moment—even kisses his forehead, which makes Kie really want to cry because Pope is the kindest person she knows—and then the guards pull them apart. They’re too aggressive with both of them and Kie wants to yell but she’s afraid and so she holds onto Pope and tells him that it’s going to be okay.

A guard manhandles JJ out of the room, his grip hard and frank, but JJ doesn’t look to put up a fight. He smiles to Pope and Kie. She can’t tell if it’s genuine but she gives him a small smile back until he’s being led out the door and Pope and herself out another. The visit was supposed to be a lot longer. Kie still has so much she wanted to ask.

The second they get in the car, Pope starts to cry. Kie shoves down her own desire to let it out and pulls Pope into a hug. His grip on her is tight and she buries her face against his chest as it bounces up and down to the rhythm of his cries.

———————————————————————

JJ calls Pope every day. He waits in line for usually about an hour or two until one of the phones is free and dials up Pope’s number—another guy had to teach him out to use the payphone, but it wasn’t that once he figured it out. Pope picks up after two rings every time. They talk until the guard tells JJ his time is up.

“How did the date go?” JJ asks since the day before Pope told JJ that he and Kiara were having a date night.

“It was nice.”

“High praise,” JJ jokes, and it feels so good to be light-hearted for a moment, to hear Pope chuckle through the phone. JJ feels hot eyes on his back from other guys waiting to use the phone but he curls toward the wall and clutches the phone close to his ear.

“Things are awkward between us. Like, we both care a lot about each other…” Pope trails off and JJ would let him finish but they don’t have an unlimited number of minutes.

“But?”

“But sometimes I wonder if us being together is actually a good idea.”

“Oh, shit.”

“Like, I care about her obviously. And we like spending time together but when it comes to the romantic stuff, it just feels weird.”

“She’s a bad kisser?”

“No! No. But, I mean, I don’t feel much emotionally when she kisses me.”

“But you feel it physically?” JJ laughs and he can feel Pope rolling his eyes.

“I’m being serious, JJ. I think we might break up.”

“I’m sorry.”

“It’s not going to affect the Pogues though. I mean, we’ve talked about it actually, what we would do if we broke up.”

“You know, talking about how you would handle a breakup in the first three weeks of dating usually isn’t a good sign,” JJ comments.

“You’re telling me. Have you heard any more from your lawyer about the hearing?”

“Nope.”

“Are you ready?”

“It’s not like I’m the one who actually has to do anything.”

“I’m ready for you to get out of there.”

“Me too.”

The guard tells JJ the time is up and Pope tells JJ he loves him. JJ says it back. It’s just something they do now.

JJ likes it a lot more than he would ever admit. He thinks about it when he sits back down on his bed. His roommate is reading a book, not angry right now like he usually is, and JJ lays down and stares at the cinderblock wall, thinking about Pope and Kie having to break up. Thinking about his hearing. Thinking about Pope. Thinking about his dad. Thinking about how he has to go to the bathroom but isn’t in the mood. Thinking about going home.

———————————————————————

Pope and Kie wait outside the courtroom, Heyward sitting them beside and Mr. Carrera. Pope has told his dad the day before that he was going to go to JJ’s hearing and just sit outside, in case they released JJ on the spot. Heyward had done a double take and then immediately picked up the phone. Pope had thought his dad was ignoring him and was annoyed until five minutes later he popped his head in Pope’s doorway and told him he got his work shift covered and he would come too.

Mr. C and Heyward talked about fishing quietly, blissfully unaware that Pope and Kie had broken up the night before. It had been a loving breakup—if you can call a breakup loving. Kie had agreed it would be for the best. She said she never wanted to lose their friendship and Pope had been eternally grateful for how amazing of a person his best friend was. He reached out for her hand about halfway through the hearing as he started to get lost in his worries. She gave it a squeeze.

The doors open and Mr. and Mrs. Thornton spilled out first. They were both standing too straight and it made Pope uncomfortable but they walked out with their lawyer and then JJ’s lawyer made his way through the doorway. Then Luke. Then JJ.

Pope felt like he had just lost one hundred pounds.

“You’re out!” Kie cried excitedly. JJ flashes her a big smile and this time it looked genuine. Luke said something to the lawyer and then reached out for JJ’s arm. The flinch was tiny, but Pope noticed it.

“JJ, it’s good to see you,” Heyward started, but Luke gave him a wild look and then tugged JJ.

“You can talk to your friends later. We need to have a chat.”

Mr. Carrera took a step in front of them to block the path to the exit.

“Our kids have been waiting here for two hours and would appreciate a moment to say hello.”

Kie’s dad had balls. Luke didn’t seem to care.

“I’d appreciate it if you took a step back.”

His words were vicious and JJ started down at his feet. JJ’s entire body was tense and he was biting down on his lip and Pope had never in his life seen JJ looked so scared. Pope’s chest hurt and he squeezed Kie’s hand.

“Take a step back. And don’t you talk to me about my boy again.” He turned to JJ. “Outside, now.”

Mr. C took a step to the side and Luke pulled JJ out of the courthouse.

“You know,” the lawyer said quietly to Mr. C—but Pope was good at eavesdropping and listened. “I know a good Children and Youth Services lawyer. If that’s necessary.”

Pope’s blood boiled when Mr. C just nodded and shrugged. What can ya do? There was a lot they could fucking do. Heyward lead Pope and Kiara out of the courthouse while Mr. Carrera talked a little bit more to the lawyer.

At least JJ wasn’t in juvie anymore.

“Have either of you ever met JJ’s dad?” Heyward asked as they walked outside. Kie shook her head but Pope nodded. “When?”

“About a week ago.”

“I don’t want you ever going near that man again, got it?”

Pope got it. Kie nodded too, even though Heyward had no control of her here.

“If you ever JJ say something that sounds off about it, I want you to let me know.”

It was too late for that, and Pope wasn’t sure if he even could tell his dad what he knew about Luke. What he figured was about to happen. It made him feel sick. But he agreed and so did Kiara.

“What an ass,” came Mr. Carrera’s voice as he approached the three. “Excuse my language, honey.”

Kie looked over to Pope as if to silently ask what they could do to help JJ. Pope shrugged.

“We drive all this way, provide him with a lawyer that actually gets his kid out of juvie, and he can’t even let the kids say hello?”

Heyward was mad, but Mr. Carrera seemed genuinely shocked. He must not have heard the rumors about Luke Maybank before.

———————————————————————

“How did the hearing go, baby?” Pope’s mom asks when they arrive home.

“He’s out of juvie.”

“Isn’t that wonderful. Maybe we can have him over for dinner one night this week to celebrate.” It’s the first time either one of his parents have ever asked Pope to invite JJ to their house. Heyward sighs behind Pope as he places the key ring on a hook and comes into the kitchen to start up the electric kettle.

“Pope why don’t you go and lay your suit across my bed. I can put it away for you,” his mom instructs. He knows that they just want him to leave the room so they can talk about JJ and his father. Pope wants to leave before they start asking him questions he’s not allowed to answer, so he grabs a cheese-stick from the fridge and makes his way to his bedroom.

He has two unread messages from Kie but he’s not really in the mood to answer them. He changes his clothes and places the suit on the bed like he was told. He opens up his phone and sends a text to JJ, asking him how he’s doing and when they can hang out. He doesn’t expect a response back tonight, but he hopes that he’ll get one anyway. He’s used to talking to JJ every day.

Pope waits until his mom calls him back into the kitchen for dinner. They don’t talk much about the hearing or JJ or JJ’s father during dinner. Pope finishes quickly, thanks them, cleans his dishes, and heads to bed. He’s wiped out from the day and he has to get up early to tutor a freshman in geometry the next morning, so he’s ready to get in bed and go to sleep by ten.

He comes very close to falling asleep when he hears a clinking sound. Then another. And another. It’s coming from his window. Kiara can’t throw for shit, so his mind goes straight to JJ and he’s rushing over to the window to pull the blinds up. Sure enough, JJ is standing in his backyard, throwing pebbles at Pope’s first floor bedroom window.

“Be careful, you could break a window,” Pope says as he slides the window up high enough for JJ to crawl through.

JJ’s not crying and he’s not covered in blood, which Pope takes as a good sign. As he stumbles to his feet, Pope sees the bruises peaking below the hem of his shirt. JJ tugs it down into place.

“Are you okay?” Pope asks because what else is there to say.

“Fine. I just couldn’t stay in that house any longer.”

JJ’s words are practiced and Pope knows they’re a façade, but Pope also knows this is not the time for an argument.

“Are you gonna stay for the night?”

“If that’s cool?”

“It’s good, I just need to go get the air mattress.”

“No!” JJ cries and reaches his hand out as if to pull Pope back. “I don’t want to wake your parents.”

“They’re asleep, they won’t hear.”

“Please, Pope.”

Pope isn’t sure if he has ever heard JJ say please in his life so he respects his wishes. Pope has a twin bed, so he’ll just sleep on the floor and let JJ take the bed.

“Do you want to shower or have something to eat?” Pope asks, trying not to sound too gentle because he doesn’t want to embarrass JJ. JJ’s eyes fall and he shrugs. Pope takes it as a yes.

“I’ll get you some food, the bathroom is just down the hall. Don’t turn the handle too far left or the water will burn you.”

JJ doesn’t say anything but Pope hands him a clean towel and heads into the kitchen to heat up some of the leftover mac and cheese. Pope wonders how much JJ ate in juvie. How much JJ eats at home.

He can hear his parents faintly arguing in their bedroom from the kitchen and tries to block it out but he hears JJ’s name and instantly panics.

“You think DCS doesn’t know about his father? Do you know how many times I dropped Pope off to elementary school and that little boy was bruised or bleeding? We have nothing to report that they don’t already know.”

“You should’ve heard the way he spoke today. The way he scared that kid.”

“I believe you, baby.”

“We have to do something.”

“We’ll have the boy over for dinner. As many dinners as he wants.”

It wasn’t really a fight, just louder than usual. The microwave buzzed and Pope removed the plate and fished a spoon out of the drawer for JJ. He took them back into his room even though he technically wasn’t allowed to have food in his room. And technically he wasn’t—JJ was. There was no rule that JJ couldn’t eat in his room.

And after the conversation he had overheard, Pope didn’t think his parents would actually be upset if they found out.

JJ walked back into the bedroom shortly after Pope. He was wearing the same clothes from earlier but his hair was wet so Pope figured he must’ve showered. Pope ushered to the mac and cheese sitting on his desk and JJ took a seat.

“It’s not as good in the microwave, but it would’ve taken forever to turn on the oven.”

“It’s perfect,” JJ hummed, shoving heaping spoonfuls of pasta into his mouth until he started to cough. Pope, unthinkingly, reached out to put a hand on JJ’s back and it caused JJ to jump out of his seat and he fell on his butt beside the desk. Wide-eyed and quick-breathed, JJ scooted further against the wall until it hit his back.

Pope took a step back and held his hand to his chest.

“I’m so sorry, I didn’t think.”

“I’m fine you just uh startled me,” JJ said, trying to sound nonchalant but his voice cracked and his eyes were still big.

“JJ.”

JJ swallowed and Pope noticed the spit up pieces of mac and cheese on the carpet. They would probably stain. JJ’s eyes had gone wet and Pope hesitantly stood before him. He held his hands up so JJ could see where they were. That they weren’t reaching out to hurt him. With his eyes locked onto JJ’s, he reached out a hand to help JJ up.

“I’m sorry,” JJ whispered, taking Pope’s outstretched hand and helping tug himself up. JJ looked to the floor where the mac and cheese had sprinkled. “Shit.”

“Don’t worry about that. Just eat slowly, okay? We have more if you’re still hungry.”

JJ nods and takes a seat in Pope’s desk chair, taking a significantly smaller bite of mac and cheese. If it wasn’t so hearting breaking it might be funny how the moment he begins chewing a tear falls down his cheek. But it is heart breaking and Pope doesn’t know what to do because he’s not good with words and he can’t touch JJ. He sits at the edge of his bed so they’re close, but he doesn’t touch. JJ doesn’t wipe his tears away, and he eats slowly just like Pope suggested.

He finishes what’s left on the plate and tries to steady his breathing but his chest is rising and falling rapidly and Pope notices the way JJ is fiddled his thumbs around the hem of his shirt.

“You take the bed,” Pope says, standing up and taking a few steps back so that he’s not in JJ’s space.

“That’s stupid,” JJ whispers.

“It’s not stupid at all.”

JJ looks up at him and Pope realizes he hasn’t actually stopped crying yet. Pope motions his arm toward the bed even though he wants to reach out and pull JJ into a hug. But he can’t. JJ stands and climbs into the bed. He lays above the covers so Pope grabs a fuzzy blanket from the upper shelf of his closet and sets it at the foot of the bed.

“If you need it,” he says. JJ pats the space beside him softly and Pope freezes.

“Please?”

His voice is barely there and there are still tears running down his cheeks and Pope is in absolutely no position to say no to JJ right now.

Pope slides into the bed, laying down on his side and sticking his hands under his head so that they’re face to face. JJ blinks, tears fall, and he reaches his hand out to the middle of the space between them with his palm facing up. Pope isn’t sure if it’s what JJ wants, but he pulls his hand out from under his head and places it on top of JJ’s. JJ grips his hand instantly and Pope feels relief wash over him.

“Are you okay?” Pope asks again, wondering if maybe in the dark JJ will have a different answer than he had before.

“No.”

“Can I hold you?”

Pope is surprised he even asked the question and wants to take it back the moment he opens his mouth. It sounds so stupid and JJ gives him a confused look and Pope feels like an idiot.

But then JJ mumbles, “Yeah,” and Pope doesn’t feel like an idiot anymore.

He reaches his free hand out above them and JJ burrows into the space between Pope’s chest and his arms and Pope wraps his arm down across JJ’s back. JJ’s tears are wet against his shirt and they seep through his skin. It’s sticky.

“I’m so glad you’re home,” Pope says, wanting to see JJ smile. JJ doesn’t smile though, only chokes on his breath. “JJ?”

“I didn’t mean to,” he whispers. It’s hard to hear him before JJ is speaking into Pope’s chest but he manages to decipher the message. “I never mean to do it.”

“It’s not your fault.” JJ doesn’t seem to hear and continues mumbling into Pope’s shirt.

“I didn’t mean to do forget the hearing or spend all the restitution money. I didn’t mean to.”

Pope’s heart is crumbling like rubble to ash and he can’t seem to hold JJ any tighter so he uses one of his hands to run circles around his back because it always calms Pope when his mother does it to him.

“It’s not your fault.”

“I didn’t mean to get John B killed or break up you and Kie.”

“You didn’t get JB killed, man,” Pope says, even though it feels weird to call JJ man when he’s holding him so gently. “And Kie and I didn’t break up because of you.”

JJ shakes his head and continues rambling as his cries begin manifesting into sobs.

“I didn’t mean to make Mom leave.”

Pope thinks JJ might be too far gone to realize what he’s saying at this point.

“I know,” Pope says, running his hand through JJ’s hair and then brings it to his back again to run his fingertips around. “It’s alright.”

JJ shakes his head again but he’s finished talking—unable to get anything else now that he is sobbing. His fingers are twisting Pope’s shirt and he can feel his nails lightly throw the fabric across his chest. It doesn’t hurt, but it reminds Pope that JJ isn’t just sad but angry too. That JJ isn’t just soft but has sharp edges and steep slopes.

“It’s alright,” Pope says again, brushing through JJ’s hair and across the skin of his arms as he tries to sooth him. JJ clings to him.

The sobs eventually die down and JJ’s hand loses its grip on Pope’s shirt. Pope can hear snores escaping his lungs and feels relieved that he’s fallen asleep. Pope holds him just as tight, taking the blanket from the end of the bed and uses his foot to pull it closer. He wraps it around them both—giving the vast majority of the blanket to JJ. He brushes the hair out of JJ’s eyes and tries to keep his fingers as far from the purple and blue skin as he can.

In his sleep, JJ curls closer to Pope.

Since JJ is asleep and Pope wants to scream but cannot, he chooses instead to press a kiss to JJ’s forehead. It’s all he can think to do. It’s not enough.

———————————————————————

tagging: @kikifromtheblock (if anybody would like to be added to a mayward taglist, feel free to lmk!)

[scarlettwitcher]

She’s Everything

Request: by Anon: Can I request a Steve Rogers x Reader based off the song She’s Everything by Brad Paisley? Please and thanks!

Summary: Steve thinks about Y/n

Characters: Steve, Y/n, mentions of avengers

Word Count: 2,645

Warnings: fluff everywhere, that’s it, this is just teeth rotting sweetness, italics are flashbacks

Author’s Note: So I’m gonna be gone for another week! Sorry. I’m going to Dallas to see my dad. I haven’t seen him in over 3 months. I will try to have some fics prepared to just post but if not, I hope you enjoy this one! I don’t really have a lot of marvel tags so if you do love it, please reblog it so it can reach more peeps! Requests and tags are open! Love to my girl @queenxxxsupreme for being my beta. As always, thanks for reading and feedback is welcome/needed. ALSO PSA: I will be changing my url in the next few weeks. I’ll be messaging a few people that tag me regularly about this but just so everyone knows and doesn’t freak out when they don’t see my original name. Don’t worry it’ll be similar to my old one.

“Is there something on my face Rogers?”

“No, no. You’re good.”

“Then why are you staring at me?” Steve opened his mouth to respond but nothing came out. He blushed and coughed, trying to cover up his speechlessness. You started giggling as you reached over pinching his cheek. “Awe, baby, why are you blushing?”

Steve smacked your hand away as you started laughing again and couldn’t help laughing with you. He knew he wouldn’t be able to say it yet but he just couldn’t understand how he found someone like you. Someone who could love him so effortlessly. He knew he had his faults and that the lives you both led were very dangerous. Part of him knows that’s why he appreciates you even more. Everything about you always had him in awe.

Your fashion sense was all over the place, but to Steve, you looked great in everything. One day you appeared at his door with yellow running shoes and he looked at you bewildered but accepted it. He always loved your ripped jeans because he had access to your skin, his hand always buried inside one of the holes, holding your thigh. You had boxes full of sunglasses and on every mission, you’d be wearing a different pair. Steve didn’t sweat too much since he knew you loved buying them from the gasoline station near the tower. Now and again, you’d stump him with your “I have nothing to wear!”. He’d always turn to look at the giant closet full of your clothes but he never dared say anything, not again anyways. He learned his lesson the first time when you threw a shoe at him. But his favorite was when you wore his clothes. Nothing could get him as turned on as seeing you in his clothes.

Steve thought about how much you loved chocolate, sneaking in chocolate bars into his room every night, or hot chocolate, or waking him up at three in the morning, asking him to bring you some chocolate you left in the kitchen. He thought about how much you loved going to the movie theatre even though Tony had his own movie Theatre. He scolded the both of you for wasting money when he had everything. You simply laughed and said the popcorn was better. On rough days, especially after missions, being at the theatre was one of your comfort spots and he knew this. He knew you loved being in the dark and pushing all of your worries onto the characters on the screen.

Steve smiled to himself when he thought about how much you loved staring at the stars and telling him about the constellations. It amazed him how much you knew about space. He loved windy nights when the breeze would blow your hair around, your sweet scent. The nights that had a touch of your lingering scent were always the best. He’d hold you extra tight those nights. On his rough nights, you were always there. You’d pull him onto your chest, rest his head there, letting him listen to the soft sound of your heartbeat. He always knew he could talk to you, let everything go. You’d listen intently, give him reassurance when he needed it. You’d always drag your fingers through his hair, cry with him when he needed it, and never let go, not ever.

You had always been very protective of Steve. You knew of all the pain he went through. Hell, you were with him most of the time when they happened. It’s not to say the super soldier didn’t get on your nerves either. You had only had a few fights but they were always intense. You’d both end up screaming at each other. You always had a hard time containing yourself, so mid argument, you’d leave. You’d go to the gym and pound into a sand bag until you broke it or your knuckles were broken and bleeding. Steve would always find you sitting in the corner. He’d sit down next to you and you’d talk it out. And things would be okay. It’s always how it ended. You’d be okay. You were always really affectionate with him. You’d never leave bed without kissing him somewhere on his face, never leave the room without hugging him, especially never leave the quinjet on a mission without kissing him deeply. He relished in your touches, a slave for more, a slave for your affection.

Steve couldn’t believe he found someone like you. You were what he always wanted. It took him a while to move on from Peggy. Once he met you and you hit it off, he decided it was time. He closed that chapter of his life and moved on with you. Everyone says he’s obsessed but he just knows he’s in love. Tony always kicks him out of the room when he starts to talk about you. Steve doesn’t realize it but sometimes he just talks about you for hours and hours and hours. Even you tell him he’s ridiculous. He just laughs it off and continues. He just can’t believe he has you.

Every Saturday, you’d push him to go out. He wasn’t always keen to be in public but he sucked it up and went with you, knowing if he didn’t, you’d just go out by yourself and he wanted to be around you. Somehow, you always found something different, something new to do in the city. He loved watching you light up at the poetry cafe you found, watching people read their beautiful poems, or the way your eyes would widen when you find a beautiful greenhouse on someone’s roof. You smelled like roses for days after you left there. Even though neither you nor Steve were religious, you went to church on Sundays, to accompany your parents. It was so foreign to Steve. His life was full of danger. Enemies, missions, death experiences, that was a normal Sunday for him. But church, family dinner, fancy dressing, he was way out of his element but the few hours of normal he got with you and your family was everything he ever wanted. Sometimes you couldn’t make it and it always bummed him out. He loved Sundays with your family. They had basically adopted him. When your mom passed away a year ago, she had given you her cross. You weren’t all that comfortable wearing the cross but you knew what it meant to her. So you had Tony melt it and turn it into a locket with her picture and Steve’s inside. You never took it off after that.

Steve hated Mondays but you didn’t care. Except you turned into Oscar the grouch, yelling your good amount of fuck and bitch in the morning. Steve thought it was hilarious, watching you flip him off because he said you looked like a ray of sunshine. By the end of the day, you were back to your old self. Steve helped train new agents and you always had the bath prepared for him when he returned. Bubbles littering the surface and candles on every open surface. Sometimes, you’d even join him, sitting in the tub waiting for him. These were some of his favorite moments. Steve thought back to a few months before when he had arrived to your shared room but you were nowhere to be found. After bathing and changing, he walked around the tower looking for you until he finally found you in what was the rec room. The lights were dimmed, candles everywhere, as well as rose petals. One of Steve’s favorite songs was playing softly in the background and you were standing in the middle, dolled up in a nice dress and makeup.

“What’s this? It looks really beautiful, doll.”

“This,” You twirled your fingers around, signaling to the room. “Is just me saying I love you. Dance with me.” Steve rushed over, embracing you in his arms before you both started rocking to the music. You started talking about your days, succumbing to each other, laughing and enjoying yourselves. You had poured wine and handed him a glass as you drank together. You pulled him towards the couch and you kept talking, sitting there for hours, just like you always did. After your first glass, you were a giggling mess. You were a huge lightweight and Steve always made fun of you for it. You playfully acted hurt when he called you out on it and he immediately tried to make up for it, littering your skin with kisses and promises of forever.

“Earth to Steve.” Steve came to with you snapping your fingers in front of him. He looked at you confused for a second before dragging his hand down his face.

“Sorry doll. Did I space out again?” You smirked and nodded your head before flicking his knee.

“Third time this week babe.” Steve blushed and shook his head.

“I’m sorry doll. I don’t mean to.”

“What are you thinking about so much?” You curled into his chest as you both laid in your bed. You listened to his heartbeat raise just a bit and you smiled.

“You.”

“No wonder my ears don’t stop ringing.” Steve laughed and shook his head. He kissed your forehead softly and pulled you even closer to him. It wasn’t long before you said your good nights, your soft even breathing letting him know you had fallen asleep. He sighed softly and slowly laid you down on your side of the bed before standing up and walking out to his balcony, looking out at the view. He looked over at your sleeping form and smiled to himself as he saw you took all of the covers and bundled yourself up. He was going to freeze that night for sure. He grabbed his wallet from the dresser, flipping it open and looking at the picture of you that he had in it. He had been the one to take the picture. You were at a festival that you had dragged the team on. You were so excited, you had even bought a beautiful sundress that flowed beautifully around you. You had found a dancing spot and you were letting go, dancing around like no one else was there. Steve pulled out his phone and took the picture, having it developed later on. It was one of his favorite moments with you.

Steve knew you were it for him. He was completely head over heels in love with you. He couldn’t stop himself thinking of you as his wife, the mother of his children, the woman he was to, somehow, grow old with. He couldn’t imagine his life without you in it. Once upon a time he was still hung over Peggy but he realized that maybe that love prepared him for the intensity of yours. He was thankful for it. Steve remembers exactly how he met you, actually he prayed for it. Steve wasn’t religious and he wasn’t one to pray but he was being called into a meeting with the team to evaluate some old missions, file some paperwork, all textbook, but he was going to be stuck in the room all day. While riding the elevator to the meeting room, Steve looked up for a few seconds murmuring, “I don’t know if you’re listening but please, make this meeting bearable.” The moment the prayer left his lips, the elevator stopped on a floor and you stepped in. You nodded your acknowledgement to the soldier but Steve couldn’t stop staring at you. You were so beautiful and he just couldn’t help but gawk. “You going to the meeting too?”

Steve snapped himself out of his creepiness and nodded before sighing quietly. “Yeah. I take it you are too.”

“Yeah, Stark said it was mandatory with the training. Fingers crossed nobody dies.” Steve chuckled but before he could respond, Natasha and Clint joined on the elevator and you got to chatting away with the other Avengers, being rather familiar with them. Immediately, Steve took a liking to you and after the meeting, cornered Natasha several times, trying to get information about you.

Steve smiled fondly at the memory as he stared at the night sky, watching the clouds slowly pass by. He replayed most of his favorite memories of the both of you in his head. He wondered if this was how the rest of his life with you was going to be. He imagined you and him in your small house in the woods. You’re both sitting on your rocking chairs on the porch, watching the lake next to your home. You’d be making fun of Steve for putting his pants on backwards that morning and he’d make fun of you for burning the eggs. That was what Steve wanted, to grow old with you.

Steve watched as you moved in your sleep and felt the love blossoming in his chest. He didn’t know how it was possible but he just kept loving you more and more everyday. He knew it, you knew it, everyone knew it. They could see it in the way he looked at you, the way he lunged himself in front of you to protect you on missions. The way he made you breakfast and took you to your favorite restaurants. The way he took an obscene amount of pictures of you and talked about you every chance he got. He was a fool in love.

Steve knew why he was losing himself in thought a lot more than usual. He was reminiscing before he made his decision. He was ready. He wanted it to be nice, something amazingly beautiful and he knew he’d do it soon but he had to do it now. He moved back to the bed and crawled in next to you. He pulled you into his arms, holding you tightly. His cold skin against your warm one made you groan quietly in your sleep. He kissed your head and slowly kissed down your face, peppering you with kisses. When he got to your neck, you hummed quietly, slowly waking up. He kissed down your chest and you were now conscious. You ran your fingers through his hair and smiled in your sleep. “You better have a good reason for waking me Rogers.” You said playfully.

“You think I want you to kick my ass?” You giggled and finally opened your eyes, being met with bright, blue ones. He looked at your face with pure adoration before kissing you softly. He fidgeted nervously before pulling back. You furrowed your brows but decided to not ask, letting him take a moment. It took everything in him to get the words he wanted but he looked at you seriously and took a deep breath. “Y/n, I have never met anyone so stubborn, so determined, so loving and kind, I’ve never met anyone like you and I’m glad I never will because you are one of a kind. You make me such a better person, someone I didn’t think I could be any more. You give me hope for tomorrow and for the future. You’re such a pain in the ass but I wouldn’t have you any other way. I want to be with you for the rest of my life, ” Steve moved to reach into his small bedside dresser, opening his sock drawer and pulling out a velvet box. You watched with wide, teary eyes, your breath hitching when you saw the box. He slowly opened it, showing you the beautiful ring inside. “This past week I’ve been so lost in my mind, I’ve just been thinking about you and us. Thinking about how we fell in love. I know you are what I want. I want to grow old with you and have kids. You are it. So, doll, will you marry me?”

Forever Tags: @iwantthedean @authoressskr @sorenmarie87 @reigningqueenofwords @goldenolaf25 @giftofdreams @winchesterprincessbride @chelsea072498 @kitchenwitchsuperwhovian @itakeawfultoawholenewlevel @fictionalabyss @gabby913 @angelkurenai @sea040561 @sleepylunarwolf @smoothdogsgirl @carryonmyswansong @feelmyroarrrr @evyiione @sofreddie @sis-tafics @nitelotus @trexrambling @dancingalone21 @manawhaat @mermaidxatxheart @winchest09 @ellen-reincarnated1967 @mrswhozeewhatsis @just-another-busy-fangirl @lovebodymindstuff @backseat-of-deans-67chevy @chook007 @akshi8278 @evansrogerskitten @bringmesomepie56 @brooklymw @persephonehemingway @blacktithe7 @donnaintx

Marvel Tags: @captain-rogers-beard​ @imamotherfuckingstar-lord​ @stretchkingblog97​

[ubernoxa]

The Dare: A Guns N’ Roses FanFiction

Chapter 33: Every Beauty

Masterlist

Story Summary: A stupid harmless dare, that’s all it was supposed to be. It was supposed to be something they would do, and never revisit. For Delilah, little did she know that visiting the strip wasn’t going to be a one time thing when she made the choice to accept the dare. Life is full of choices. Some choices can mean absolutely nothing, while others can change your entire world. Delilah had heard many rumors about the Sunset Strip or Devil’s Strip. Teenagers would whisper stories about how the Devil walks the streets of the strips without a care in the world. It was known as a place untouched by God. After years of hearing rumors about the Devil’s Strip, Delilah wants to see it for herself. Thus a Dare was born.

Chapter Summary: Betsie and Delilah’s exfiance encounter the magazine article. Mags, Stef, and Del put on masks to pretend everything is okay. Not because they want it to be okay, but because it has to be okay.

Taglist: @gingerspicetalks @str4nge-haze @queen-crue

Beth leaned back on the sofa that was tucked away in a small room hidden in the church basement. This ‘hidden’ room was her solitude. At first she couldn’t step foot step foot in the room, too afraid of the memories of Delilah that would flood back. It felt like only yesterday that four friends hatched a dare in this very room. She shook her head trying to get the thought out.

It was such a stupid dare!

Why did she ever agree to it?

How could she had been so stupid?

Beth wondered how different things would have been if she told Delilah no. Would Delilah have even gone on the dare? Guilt flashed over Beth to the night she abandoned her former friend at the bar. Originally Beth though she was courageous for not going into the bar, but after weeks and weeks had flown by, she only saw herself as a wimp and horrible friend.

“Hey I though I would find you in here,” Mat’s words pulled her out of her deadly thoughts.

He felt his heart sink as he found Beth curled up in a ball alone in the haunted room. He had prayed day and night in search of a way to help fight the demons that lived inside of her head, but it was useless. It was clearly a battle she had to fight herself, but that wouldn’t stop him from sitting with her or cuddling her if needed. All he knew was that he needed to be there for her to clean the wreckage Delilah had left in her path.

“Hey,” her voice was week as he joined her on the couch. She was thinking about Delilah, no doubt about it. Part of him wondered how much Delilah had thought of Beth. Had she ever regretted leaving or thought of the chaos she had created?

Mat wrapped his arm around Beth and she quickly snuggled into him. He watched tears slowly form in her eyes and gently cascade down her face. Sadly this wasn’t new to him. This was almost a weekly occurrence, every Saturday like clock work. The tears would come and she would melt into him like wax over a hot flame.

“If I have to make another berry pie or hear another child scream about how they don’t want berry pie, I think I’m going to lose it. God won’t be able to save those little whiny brats from my wrath,” Mat pulled Beth in closer earning a laugh from her. A laugh he surely missed. The laugh that used to frequently fill the room.

“Your wrath? What are you going to do, read them the Bible?” Beth teased back causing their laughter to fill the right room again.

“Hey! My readings are great!”

“No! You couldn’t be more wrong! Have you ever heard of not reading in a lifeless monotone voice?” Beth pulled away pointing at him with her index finger.

“It’s not my fault I get stuck with all of the ‘boring’ Bible versus!” Mat quickly shot back regretting ever volunteering to read for the children.

“David versus Goliath is ONLY boring when you tell it,” Beth chuckled, finally gaining her composure and sitting up straight.

“What time is it?” Beth added, regretting the fact that she didn’t wear a watch.

“Almost 11...did you buy my a watch that way you didn’t have to wear one?”

“That’s a secret I’ll never tell!” Beth mocked before she left the room laughing.

Mat sat up and let out a deep sigh. It was good to see her laugh. Her laugh was more beautiful than any song he had ever listened to. He pulled out the small velvet box he had in his pocket. He sighed as he knew it wasn’t the right time. Maybe someday.

Beth began to collect plates from the picnic tables and place them in large tubs for cleaning.

“Ohh dear, you’ve been working all morning. Why don’t you enjoy a slice of pie,” Beth looked up to see Mat’s mother handing her a slice, not noticing the quick glance his mother made towards Beth’s own hand.

“I just had an hour break, I’m fine,” Beth sweetly replied continuing to wash dishes.

“Honey, relax. We have a couple children who need to serve detention, and will more than happy to chose the chore of washing dishes instead,” the woman replied.

“Thank you,” Beth smiled as she took the plate and headed in search of Mat to share the pie with. He had been cooking them all morning and she highly doubted that he was able to have a slice. Plus she owed him for cheering her up. She didn’t want to imagine where she would be if he wasn’t there for her the past couple months.

She twisted and turned through the church until she found him still in the basement. This time he was at one of the large tables entertaining the children. In a quick glance, Beth noticed he needed to be rescued.

“Hey, Mat! Want to share a piece of pie? I heard the guy who cooked it was mediocre, but it’s still food,” Mat smiles when he saw that Beth was still in a good mood. He quickly said goodbye to the children and one of the nuns took his spot.

“Sure, wanna join Mark?” Beth quickly asked earning a nod.

“No way that’s totally Delilah” the pair froze as they heard the familiar name. Beth sidestepped and headed for the table of girls that appeared to be holding a magazine. Mat chased after Beth hoping that this wouldn’t go to sour too quickly.

“Hey Beth,” one of the with eighth graders sent Beth a warm smile as she hid the contraband under the picnic table hoping Beth wouldn’t see it. Beth saw it, clear as day. Her and Delilah used to do the same thing when they were in middle school.

“Come on, hand it over and I won’t turn you in,” Beth flashed a sweet smile to the eight graders. After a couple of seconds one of them broke the silence, “Give it to her Mary, she would be the best to know if it’s Delilah anyway.”

Mary placed the magazine on the table and Beth’s eyes grew wide.

“Holy fucking shit,” were the only words that came out of Beth’s mouth as she stared at the article.

“Is that the Doof guy” Mat asked looking at the cover, Beth ignored his words too focused on her own thoughts as she quickly went to page 7 where the article was.

“Duff, it’s Duff,” Beth pointed at a picture of Delilah and Duff dancing captioned, ‘late night after a gig, Bassist Duff Mckagan shares a sweet moment of slow dancing with girlfriend Del to Aerosmith’s single, Home Tonight’.

“Duff is a stupid name,” Mat said under his breath earning a nod from Beth.

“So is Del,” Beth replied. Mat pulled the magazine away from Beth before she could continue reading, earning a quick protest.

“Mat give me the magazine”

“No Beth, we all know this magazine is filled with nothing more than gossip. It’s not true and we don’t need to read it,” Mat calmly replied.

“Fine, Fine. We will probably see her in another article in a month or two when she ends up pregnant like that Mags chick that was also mentioned in the article,” Beth shot back.

Before Mat could think the words, ‘how could this get any worse’. Mark grabbed the magazine from him and stared at his ex fiancé posing scandalously with Duff on the cover.

Today was defiantly not going to be the day he proposed to Beth.

Less than an hour south of the church, the article was causing a similar chaos.

“I’m not ready to have a child,” Mags said no louder than a whisper as Tonya, Stef, and Del sat with her in the locked bathroom.

“You’ll make a great mom,” Instead of three pairs of eyes, Del felt like there were thousands starring at her. Del quickly added that to the list of things not to say to a pregnant woman who clearly didn’t want to be pregnant.

“How much longer?”

“A minute, Mags,” Tonya checked the stopwatch she tightly held in her hands.

All four girls sat together in silence beyond cramped in the mold infested bathroom. The stop watch buzzed, and Mags dove for the prgnacy test that was sitting on the countertop, or what was left of the countertop.

Mags remained frozen as she looked at the plastic stick.

Positive.

She had already known that she was pregnant. This test was just for Steven, but it still struck her like a freight train.

“I’m gonna get you some honey tea for you Mags, would anyone else like anything,” Stef asked before standing up. She was quickly followed by Tonya who volunteered to help carry the tea for all four of them.

“Steven get out to the kitchen, if you ask me about the pregnancy I will pour this warm water in your face,” Tonya said before stepping over towards the cabinets trying to find some tea bags.

Stef stood across the kitchen as she watched Steven eyes the bedroom door. He looked like a banished puppy. A hopeless banished puppy.

“Hey, it’s going to be okay.” For the first time all day Stef talked to Steven, her hushed voice causing his heart to melt. She walked over towards him, and he immediately pulled her in for a hug.

“Yeah, I know Stef...but”

“Stevie, you are a good older brother to not only Mags but everyone in this entire apartment. You will be an amazing uncle,” Stef looked up to see absolute shock in Steven’s face. She hadn’t meant for the last bit to slip, but she couldn’t take the words back.

“She’s keeping it?” Stef shrugged as she went back to joining Tonya in the kitchen.

Back in the moldy bathroom, Del moved to sit next to Mags on the floor. Mags immediately melted in Del’s arms, and once the first tear fell, the rest cascaded like a waterfall.

“Please don’t look at me,” Mags mumbled as Delilah tucked Mags’ hair behind her ears.

“Why?”

“Because I don’t want to you to see me like this, I don’t want anyone to see me like this. Just fuckin’ leave,” Mags spat as she pulled away.

“Well, I’m not going anywhere,” Del shrugged. It was clear that Mags needed someone, and there was absolutely no way in hell she was leaving Mags alone in her current state.

“Ohh so you just want to watch a fucking train wreck?” Mags snapped back, careful not to yell in worry that more people would come into the small bathroom. She estimated she had a couple more minutes before Tonya and Stef came back with warm tea.

“If I wanted to look at a train wreck, all I have to do is look in a mirror,” Del’s monotone response caught Mags off guard resulting in silence slipping into the bathroom.

“Why are you here? Aren’t you supposed to be judging me or some shit like that?” Mags spat. To her she was shocked that Delilah wasn’t lecturing her about her sins or condemning her or quoting bible versus.

“I’m here because you’re more than just my friend. As weird as it might sound I consider you as my sister. Plus the Bible doesn’t teach us to judge one another, it teaches acceptance and love. The Bible is open to some interpretation, and sadly most people abuse that and use it a an excuse to justify condemning others. To be honest, I’ve never understood why. Granted I do care that you’re pregnant, but now how you think. I care because you’re going to be going through a lot whether you keep the child or not. I want to be there like you have been there for me,” Delilah’s voice was no louder than a mouse. Several minutes passed and a comfortable silence filled the bathroom.

“Everything has beauty,” Mags looked down at her stomach and placed her hand on it as she spoke.

“But not everyone sees every beauty,” Delilah finished the sentence as she placed her hand on top of Mag’s own.

“Come on, we should get moving,” Mags said as they headed out of the bathroom.

“You should tell your boyfriend his apartment is disgusting,” Tonya mumbled to Stef as she eventually gave up on looking for not only tea, but clean cups.

“He knows,” Stef sighed back. It was a battle she had lost several times.

They both froze as they saw Mags and Del slip into the bathroom, undetected by the guys who were now relaxing in the main room that had the shit couches in it.

“So we need to get out of here without getting noticed,” Del whispered to Stef and Tonya who quickly nodded.

“Mags and I are going to slip through the fire escape, but can you two distract the guys?” Stef was a bit put off by Del’s idea of sneaking out before she talked to Duff, but one look at Mags changed her mind.

“Yeah, we can ask about their gig tonight,” Tonya said dragging Stef towards the guys.

They went their separate was, and everything was going smoothly until Del felt someone grab her arm as she was about to climb through the window and onto fire escape.

“Where the fuck are you going,” Del turned to see the red hair that matched Axl’s voice.

“Trying to leave without causing further damage,” Del shot back, not in the mood to deal with him. They needed to leave ASAP, and he was preventing that. What was he going to do, hold her prisoner?

“Are you okay?”

Del looked at Axl’s hand which was still tightly holding her wrist. She knew that there was no way of overpowering him, and if she resisted she would only drag attention to herself.

“If I answer will you let go of me? I have to catch up to Mags who is probably waiting for me,” Del whispered earning a nod from the red head.

She took a deep breath before speaking, “No.”

Axl watched the brunette as her eyes began to water, he gently let go of her wrist causing her to sprint towards the fire escape.

Delilah sat in the living room that she shared with Tonya and Mags reading the article over and over. She couldn’t wrap her mind around why Drew would do this. He told her that he loved Mags. Love must have meant something different here on the strip. Her heart ached at the thought of all the times Duff had told her he loved her.

There was one paragraph that stuck in her head, and haunted her in her dreams. The one paragraph her mind had over analyzed hundreds of times over.

‘This relationship is doom to fail, no doubtz At first glance one might think the pair have found the infamous true love, but upon a second glance one’s opinion would change. It isn’t a love story like the ones in the movies. This is a story of a guy who has manipulated an innocent foolish girl to fall head over heals for him when he clearly doesn’t have the same feelings for her. There are only two ways this relationship will end, and neither of them bode well for Del. The first option is that he moves on because he grows tired of her. The second is that she eventually catches him cheating, as all rockstars do, but forgives him when he gives her a half assed apology which she pathetically accepts. Eventually though he would move on, but the real question is what will she move on to do? She has nothing. While the old saying does say that opposites attract, but there is a reason opposites are opposites.’

“Del, throw that piece of shit out. You are only torturing yourself,” Stef joined Delilah who was currently sobbing on the couch like a high schooler who had her heart broken on prom night.

“You know that article is trash right? Drew made up this stupid shit so the articles would sell! He did it all for his pathetic career. People aren’t drawn to happy stories Del, they’re drawn to ones filled with drama. Trust me hun, I’ve seen the way Duff looks at you, and you don’t have to be worried. Now go put on something cute. We have a gig to go to,” Stef was quickly met with a grown from Delilah as she melted further into the couch.

“Delilah get off your ass and change. Either you’re changing yourself, or I will. This article means nothing. DUFF IS NOT CHEATING ON YOU. You have NOTHING to worry about okay?” Delilah nodded and headed over towards the kitchen where her bag was.

Feeling like the Delilah situation was under control, Stef headed back into Mag’s room.

“Before you open your mouth Stef, I’m going to save you the time. I’m not going to the gig tonight. Not because of the article. I don’t want to deal with my brother when he is like this. He needs to focus on his gig. I will still be pregnant tomorrow,” Mags snapped back to Stef the moment she entered the room. Stef’s attention quickly snapped to Tonya who nodded her head in agreence with what Mags had just said.

“Makes sense. Delilah and I will be heading out shortly. I think she is currently getting dressed. You’re welcomed to come, but you don’t have to. I get it,” Stef promptly left the room knowing that there was nothing she could do to change Mag’s mind. To say that Mags was stubborn was an understatement. She was a damn bull and once her mind was made up there was no changing it.

After planning a small movie night with Mags, Tonya walked into the kitchen noticing Stef chugging a beer. Tonya’s original intention was going to ask how Stef was doing, but the amount of vodka she had just consumed defiantly answered he question. Stef was not okay.

“So who do you think is going to beat up Drew first?” Stef looked up at Tonya before she finished her drink.

“My money is on Duff or Steven,” Stef made herself another drink as she spoke only worrying Tonya more. Usually Tonya was all for getting plastered, but in the spirit of having fun, not as a coping mechanism.

“I would have said Axl. He already had a shitty temper and is incredibly protective of the band,” Tonya casually replied. Stef shrugged before downing her drink again.

“If you tell him you didn’t say it and that Drew misquoted you then you don’t have to worry. Everyone will believe you. That entire article is filled with lies. Don’t worry you’ll be fine,” Tonya calmly spoke as she watched Stef continue to drink.

“What if I did say it? What if I did say that I didn’t think he was going to make it?” Stef’s voice was barely above a whisper.

“Why would you...” Tonya was immediately interrupted by Stef before she could speak again,

“I would because I was drunk, and Steven is good but.....If he does make it everyone knows it will be short lived. With the money they will get they’ll drown themselves in booze and drugs. Don’t tell anyone but part of me doesn’t want them to make it. I’ve seen what the industry does to people and I don’t want it to happen to Steven.....Drew was interviewing me and I was by no means sober. I didn’t mean for it to come out, and he promised me he wouldn’t tell anyone. A girlfriend is supposed to be supportive and shit,” Tonya ran to Stef’s side as she began to cry.

“Shhh shh shh, you’re fine, no need to worry about it. Just deny it okay? You love him, I know you do. All you can do is be there for him, okay? That’s what you gotta do for him okay? Just be by his side through the think and thin....None of us are perfect Stef. So what you said something? It will all blow over in a week or two, now go fix your makeup because you and Del have a gig to go to,” Tonya flashed Stef a fake smile to cheer her up. Tonya shook her head as she watched Stef leave the kitchen. Tonya wondered if maybe she would be the first to beet the living shit out of Drew.

Delilah fidgeted with the hem of her skirt as her and Stef waited amongst some other girls for the guys to comeback from their quick sound check. Delilah watched true groupies, as Stef called them, as they walk around in heels that where higher than their hair. Paired with their clothes that with one wrong move they would flash themselves to the world. Delilah tried not to judge. She tried to ignored them as they flaunted themselves around, acting like they owned the place and sent Delilah glares. No matter how much she tried she hated them, and she hadn’t even spoken a word towards them.

“Just ignore them, believe it or not they’re jealous of us,” Stef whispered into Delilah’s ear before taking another shot.

“Jealous of having an article written about us or that we are dating a member of Guns N’ Roses?” Delilah questioned.

“Probably both,” Delilah chuckled back at Stef’s question.

“If they want an article that’s full of lies written about them, then they can fucking have it,” Delilah joked back.

“What about Duff?” Stef teased back.

“Over my dead body,” Stef watched as Delilah’s tone went sharp and a frown formed on her face.

“Don’t worry, you got that blonde under some sort of spell. I believe some people call it love,” Stef replied in attempt to pull Delilah back. There was no doubt in her mind that the article put Delilah a little on edge.

“Really?” Her voice sounded like a child when the question escaped her lips. Stef took a piece of Delilah’s hair and tucked it behind her ear.

“It’s clear as day hun,” Stef said as she watched Delilah take her fourth shot. For most a fourth shot in an hour wouldn’t cause any concern, but for a light weight such as Delilah it raised a lot of red flags.

[luci-in-trenchcoats]

The Girl Next Door (Part 9) - Boys Night

Summary: The reader goes to boys night and learns a little more about Dean and his friends...

The Girl Next Door Masterlist

Pairing: Neighbor/Mechanic!Dean x baker!reader

Word Count: 2,100ish

Warnings: language

A/N: Enjoy!

Reader’s POV

You knocked once on Sam’s screen door the next night, stepping inside to hear a chorus of hello’s come from the kitchen area. You and Jack wandered back there, Jack setting a tub down on the counter, Sam staring blankly at you.

“Y/N. You are single handedly going to give the Winchester’s a coronary disease if you keep bringing cookies over all the time,” said Sam. You smiled and cracked open the tub, Sam cocking his head at you. “You brought a veggie platter in a cookie tub. Only you…”

“The rate at which Dean consumes my baked goods, I may have to institute the baker’s rule on him,” you said. You gave Dean’s friends a smile from where they were gathered at one end of the kitchen, Benny giving you a nod.

“I never heard of this baker’s rule,” he said.

“For every cookie you eat, that’s either exercise or some very healthy meals for the rest of the week. Checks and balances,” you said.

“You should really get on the Hunter’s garage diet,” said Benny.

“Bacon cheeseburgers from the diner for lunch?” teased Dean.

“You know I caught Dean eating a salad last week? I almost made him take a drug test. Thought he lost his mind,” said Benny.

“I eat salad for lunch everyday,” said Cas, sipping on his beer.

“Yeah but you like kale you freak of nature,” said Benny.

“Even I don’t like kale as much as Cas,” said Sam with a laugh, sticking to his water.

“Kale’s gross,” said Avy, swinging her legs off the counter edge. Benny gave her a fist bump, Cas rolling his eyes. “Can we get pizza now?”

“It’s already ordered,” said Sam with a laugh. “Mushroom free pizza.”

“I didn’t like that,” said Avy, wrinkling her nose. “But if it happens again, I got a cool pen to stab into my leg!”

“You are so a Winchester,” said Cas, ruffling her head as he walked past. He pulled out a pair of beers, offering them to you and Jack. You took yours but watched Jack decline his. “We’re not in a session right now. You can totally drink in front of me, Jack.”

“I think I’ll stick to water like Sam,” said Jack. Cas gave him a smile and put the drink back, tossing him a bottle of water instead. “So...what exactly do you guys do on boys night?”

“Well for those occasions where Avy joins us for boys night, normally we hang at somebody’s house, order pizza, watch movies, talk about stuff,” said Cas.

“So you guys have sleepovers like middle school girls,” you said with a smile. “Oh. Scandalous.”

Avy laughed, Sam rolling his eyes.

“Remember Jess on boys nights? Can you imagine her and Y/N together?” said Dean, Sam breaking out into a laugh.

“Those two together would have been hilarious,” said Sam, a funny smile on his face. “Scale of 1 to 10, how inappropriate would it be to call Eileen and invite her over tonight?”

“Oh, ten for sure. You’re so doing it though,” said Benny, grabbing Sam’s phone from the counter and handing it to him. Sam shook his head but left the room, returning a minute later and sitting back down on the stool. “So?”

“She’s gonna come over,” said Sam.

“Eileen? I love Eileen!” said Avy, Sam biting his bottom lip at her, scrunching up his nose.

“Hey, Avy. I heard you learned how to do a cartwheel at camp this week. Want to go outside and show me some?” you asked. She immediately hopped off the counter and was out the back door, Dean mouthing thank you to you as you went past.

Avy was pretty good and was showing you some somersaults too, even watching you do a few, the ground not as forgiving as you remembered when you were a kid. You rolled over onto your butt, Avy laughing at you when Dean whistled from the back door a little while later.

“Pizza’s here, Avy!” he called, walking outside, Avy rushing past and back inside. He chuckled as he helped you up to your feet, watching you wipe the dirt off your hands. “Thanks. For taking her out of there a minute.”

“S’no problem. Sam had that look on his face,” you said.

“Sammy hasn’t liked a girl like this since Jess. Those two had a deal you know, if anything ever happened to them. They wanted each other to be happy again. Sammy’s…”

“I get it. Learning to date again is hard,” you said.

“Come on. Let’s go have my friends embarrass me in front of you,” he said, grabbing hold of your hand.

“Oh, you do that all on your own, Dean,” you teased, winking at him and almost tripping when you tried to walk backwards. “You didn’t see that.”

“I make you weak in the knees, sweetheart?” he asked.

“You wish,” you said.

“Not going to argue with that one.”

“Never have I ever…” said Sam a few hours later, long after Avy was in bed. You were sat around the family room on a few couches, tucked into Dean’s side, listening to a summer storm pass through outside. “Never have I ever kissed a guy.”

“Oh come on,” you said, taking a sip of your beer, Eileen smacking him in the chest.

“Hey! Brain trauma here,” teased Sam.

“Shut up,” she said, taking a drink, smiling up at him. You watched Cas take a subtle sip, Benny rolling his eyes as he did one too. “Oh, there’s a story.”

“We don’t talk about it,” said Cas.

“We made like a hundred bucks though,” said Benny, smiling wide. “Pair of little blonde sorority girls dared us when I visited Cas one weekend at school.”

“Easy money,” said Cas.

“What are we counting here,” said Dean. “Cause like if we talking family, then I gave Sammy like five hundred million kisses when he was a baby.”

“And dad did and I really didn’t think that one through,” said Sam, taking a sip of his water, Dean laughing as he drank his beer. You looked at Jack, glancing down when he didn’t move. “Hey, dad’s count, Jack.”

“Our dad wasn’t big on that stuff...even when we were little. He was a doctor, always thought we had germs,” you mumbled.

“So your dad didn’t let you give him kisses when you were like, little little?” asked Benny.

“I don’t remember any,” you said, Jack nodding his head. “He was never...mom was the one who did that stuff.”

“Okay…” said Benny, wide eyed for a moment. “Anyone got any non-depressing shit they want to play?”

“Never have I ever gone to college as a student,” said Dean. Benny laughed and stood up, giving him a high five as the room drank.

“Never have I ever graduated college,” said Jack. Benny and Dean laughed and gave him a high five.

“What were you, Jackie boy?” asked Benny. “Let me guess, doctor dad, med school drop out sister...pre-med?”

“I’m surprised you’re not a cop with deduction skills like that,” said Jack. Benny made a face, nodding at Jack.

“Glad to see you’re warming up to me,” said Benny. “What you been doing all these years? Bakery stuff with your sis?”

“Odds and ends. Landscaping, construction, waiting tables, anything really,” he said.

“Jack’s opened a few businesses too,” you said.

“Failed businesses,” he mumbled.

“I know how hard it is,” you said.

“Me too,” said Benny. “The garage was supposed to be Deano’s job and then Humpty Dumpty over here had to crack his head open. I’m still expecting you to be a partner in this business scenario once you come back full time.”

“We’ll see,” said Dean, giving him a quick smile, watching Eileen start up the game again.

“Hello beautiful,” said Dean the next evening, holding out a few flowers when your front door opened.

“Well thank you Dean but I think Y/N might be a little jealous,” laughed Jack. You slid on your sneakers behind him, popping up to take the flowers as Dean groaned.

“Thank you, Dean,” you said, rolling your eyes at Jack, carefully setting the flowers down on the front table. “You got any plans tonight Jack? I’ll probably be home late.”

“Not really. Probably read my book more,” said Jack. “Maybe take a bike ride before it gets too late.”

“Well Sammy’s next door if you get bored,” said Dean, holding the door as you stepped outside.

“Alright. Have fun you guys.”

“This pretzel is amazing,” you said, offering some to Dean. He took a bite and hummed, giving you a thumbs up before he went back to his hotdog. “These opening guys are better than last week.”

“Main act is supposed to be rock and not country this week. That ought to be good,” said Dean, wiping his hands on his shorts when he finished eating. You caught him watching you for a moment, his lip twitching up when he saw you’d brought his flannel with you and was tied around your waist, his baseball cap on your head hiding your messy side braid. He looked you up and down but the softest smile formed on his face, like he’d forgotten you could see him in your peripheral.

After throwing away the trash, you sat down next to him, giving his a chaste kiss that had him blinking slowly at you. You simply smiled and held his hand, Dean squeezing your fingers together.

The Saturday night concert went later than the one on Sunday had and you were extra glad you had Dean’s warm flannel to put on when the sun had gone down.

“Hey, Y/N,” said Dean, swinging your hands together as you walked through the parking lot at the end of the night. “You want to-”

“Dean? Hey! How’s it going?” you heard to your left, both your heads turning. You saw a woman with a bright smile step over and away from a group of people, holding hands with a guy.

“Hi Lisa,” said Dean quietly, tugging on your hand, trying to walk you away.

“Should have known you’d go to the concert. Dean was always big on his rock music,” said Lisa to the guy she was. “You still over at the garage?”

“Mhm,” hummed Dean.

“Really?” she said. “Never moved on?”

“Yeah. Goodnight,” he said, walking away with you before she could say another word. “Sorry about that.”

“It’s alright,” you said, looking back over your shoulder. “Old friend?”

“Old ex,” he said. “I met her at Cas’ college. We dated for a summer. It didn’t end well. I’ve run into her a few times since. She likes to pretend that didn’t happen, show off her fancy lawyer boyfriend.”

“She kind of sounds like a bitch,” you said.

“She wasn’t. At least I thought she wasn’t. We had fun that summer and then she went back to college and she started treating me differently. I heard her tell her friends once I was too stupid for school. She said some other nasty stuff. I broke it off after that. I haven’t had a girlfriend since. Until now that is,” he said.

“Sounds like she was embarrassed of you,” you said.

“Yeah. I got that message loud and clear,” he mumbled. You spun around, walking backwards.

“Hey Lisa!” you shouted, watching her head whip around in the distance. “Dean’s awesome and the best boyfriend ever so thanks for screwing it up so I could have him! He deserves to be with someone that’s actually proud of him like I am!”

You grinned when you spun around, tugging a frozen Dean after you and over towards Baby.

“You’re awesome,” he said.

“You don’t ever have to be worried that you embarrass me, Dean,” you said. “Now weren’t you going to ask me something?”

“There’s a diner with good pie on the way home if you want to stop and grab a slice,” he said.

“I’d love to.”

A/N: Read Part 10 here!

[tsipasce]

Same Difference Ch. 12

A/N: ssorry for the late-ish upload, I got married yesterday! :D

On that note, this chapter is a bit cuter than usual so I hope you enjoy. As always, thank you for all the really sweet comments and kudos <3

Chapters: 01  |  02 |  03 |  04 | 05  | 06 | 07 | 08 |  09 |  10 |  11

AO3

Nanami undressed carefully and ran a bath, wincing as she slid in, the soapy water reminding her of all the nicks and bruises she’d accumulated that night. Exhaling for what felt like the first time in hours, she leaned her head back against the rim of the tub and felt a tear roll down her cheek. Before she could register the action, the emotional dam burst open and tears continued to fall one after the other as she tried to stifle a whimper.

It had all come to a head and the pain she’d been suppressing bubbled upwards and down her flushed face. She had an inkling of what to expect when she got involved with his world. She knew there would be consequences, but the confirmation and reality of said consequences were another story entirely. This is... a lot. Even for me. She thought almost laughing to herself again at the predicament, attempting to steady her breath, But I can—I will handle it. We’re gonna accept this feeling and then let it go. If I let this take over, then what was all this for? I’m gonna keep going. I have to… But for just a little while longer, I’m going to rest.

She sighed, healing her wounds and scrubbing herself gently with her favorite lavender scrub. If she was going to rest, she was going to do it right. I’ll finish up here, light some candles, put on my favorite pj’s, play some music in the living roo—just then she remembered she wasn’t alone and sank down into the tub, suddenly feeling very exposed. As nervous as she was, there was also a strange sense of comfort. If he’s still there, that is.

Accepting she couldn’t hide in her bubble fortress forever, she exited the tub, toweling off and going to her room through the adjoining door in the bathroom. She was still committed to the favorite p.j.’s idea, putting on a matching black and white short sleeve shirt and shorts. Before the thought of “what’s Overhaul gonna think?” could rear its head, she cut it off. It’s my house, I wear what I want. Why would I care what he thinks anyways? She thought, trying to convince herself, rolling her eyes at the notion while also giving herself a once over in the mirror before exiting the room.

Her confidence waning with every step she took down the hallway to her living room, she sheepishly peeked from around the corner to see if he was still there. He was on her couch, focused on whatever was on his phone. He hadn’t moved from the spot where she’d left him.

“If you need something, feel free to come and get it. There’s no need to sneak around your own house.”

“Wha—I was not ‘sneaking around’. Just… checking to see if you were still here is all.” She sputtered, holding her arm, avoiding eye contact as he’d turned to address her.

“Like I said, I’ll be here.” The look he was giving her made her shift nervously.

She simply nodded, briskly making her way to the kitchen to make her nightly cup of tea. Realizing she should probably be a decent host, she decided to offer him some. He’ll probably say no, but what the hell.

“I’m making some tea, you want some?” Yup. Nailed it. Host of the year, here I come.

“No, thank you.” Knew it. Why’d I even ask. She chastised herself inwardly.

Accepting defeat, she filled the kettle with water and placed it on the stove to warm as she gathered the rest of her ingredients. The water now hot, she poured a bit into the bowl, discarding it after she swished it around. She opened the cannister, taking a small scoop of the powder to press through the sieve. An equally small amount of water was carefully poured into the bowl before she began whisking, now calmed by the familiar routine. As she lost herself in the task, a small voice cut through her thoughts.

“… is that Sei-un?”

She paused, turning to look at him, pleasantly surprised. “You can smell that through your mask?”

“Yes… it’s my favorite.”

“Mine too! I mean, I enjoy it. A little.” She said pulling back her excitement. “Would you like some tea now?” she tempted, raising a brow. It was nice to meet a fellow matcha enthusiast, though the circumstances may not have been ideal.

“… Yes. But I need to see you make it, so you do it properly.”

“Oh, so you don’t trust my expertise?” she asked, slightly offended, but used to his fussiness by now.

“I trust your taste, but no I do not trust this alleged ‘expertise’ when it comes to preparation.” He began as he walked into the kitchen to stand next to her at the counter.

“Pssh. Nothing ‘alleged’ about these moves. Watch and learn.” Nanami expertly sifted the powder and  whisked until a layer of foam formed at the top, letting her know it was ready to be served. She took a teacup and gracefully poured the mixture, sliding it over to him triumphantly. He picked up the cup, bringing it up to his nose to take in the aroma before Nanami realized he would have to take off his mask to enjoy her concoction. “Oop! Sorry,” She said covering her eyes with one hand as she motioned him to drink with the other.

“You know you don’t have to… Nevermind.” He said before pulling his mask down to take an appraising sip.

She heard a content sigh and rustling as she spread her fingers to peek through, catching a glimpse of his now-serene gaze, “…So?” She asked eager for his response.

“This… is good.” He responded sincerely and Nanami found herself beaming at the confirmation of her expert moves. “But let me show you how it’s really done.”

He went through similar steps, his movements precise and measured as though he’d done it a million times before. There was a peacefulness in him she’d only seen glimpses of in the lab as he carefully prepared the cup for her. She found herself wishing she could see this side of him more often.

After finishing, he confidently, slid the cup over to her waiting to gauge her reaction. She grasped it with both hands, taking in the scent before sipping. She closed her eyes, relaxing for what felt like the first time today. There was nothing like having a hot cup of tea after a long day but having someone else make it for you made it that much better. “I can’t lie, this is great. Nice and smooth.” She replied earnestly. Their eyes met and there was a contentment in his gaze she was happy to see. Realizing they were once again too close, she broke the eye contact, to her dismay finding it was getting harder with each time.  She walked over to the couch to sit and enjoy the rest of it, hopeful she could shake off the growing tension before they had another repeat of whatever had happened earlier in the lab.

She heard footsteps from behind her as he returned to sit on the couch, leaving a safe amount of space between them.

“So… have you ever tried using a milk frother?” She began.

He turned to her, an incredulous look in his eyes, “Are you trying to insult me?”

“What? No, I just had a friend recommend it since it’s faster, but it kinda defeats the purpose to me. Making it is half the fun, so why rush?”

He regarded her, pleasantly surprised, “I couldn’t agree more…”

They continued trading tips and tricks for the next hour, Nanami going on a tangent rather passionately, as he listened intently to her speech about the best tea snacks and why they weren’t pickled plums. Overhaul himself becoming rather animated as he rated and critique how adequately (Kurono) or terribly (Rappa) each of the Precepts prepared tea, unsurprisingly rating himself the highest. The caffeine began to wear off and she tried to stifle a yawn. “I think I’m going to try and get some sleep.”

“That would be wise.” He confirmed, politely shooing her off.

Rubbing her eyes, she took her cup to the sink to rinse it off, swearing she’d clean the rest in the morning. Before she made it down the hallway, she had an epiphany and turned back to the living room.

“I’m so sorry, there’s a guest room here you can use. It’s right down the—”

“No need. I won’t be sleeping.” He responded, cutting her off as he glanced out her window.

“Oh. Well, in case you change your mind or doze off,” she said, her voice trailing off as she went into the spare room, coming back with blankets and pillows placing them on the sofa, “these babies are freshly laundered.” She began walking towards her room before turning again, “Thank you for coming by…Goodnight.” It was almost a whisper as she found herself too nervous to raise her voice further.

Before she closed her bedroom door, a voice called back, “You’re welcome, goodnight.”

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Saturday morning came and Nanami awoke, feeling surprisingly well-rested considering what happened the night before. Stretching, she rolled out of bed, checking her phone for texts while making a b-line to the kitchen to make some breakfast. Walking into the living room, she saw him perched by the window, checking his phone. Hearing footsteps, he glanced towards her, doing a double-take before assessing the visage fully.

Her eyes were heavy-lidded, her chestnut skin smooth and glowing from a good night’s rest. The skylight in her apartment let in a stream of sunlight that made her silver hair shimmer as it cascaded down her shoulders. She stood in the doorway, relaxed, looking every bit an angel with bed head and silly house shoes. Slowly pocketing his phone to give her his full attention, he cleared his throat, now reassured that staying the night had been the right decision.

Judging by his stunned silence, Nanami was sure she must have looked like a hot mess. I knew I should’ve changed first, but no I just had to listen to my stomach and waltz out here. Who even wears bunny slippers anymore? She cringed inwardly knowing he would never forget this sight, though she had thoroughly misjudged why. Quickly brushing her hair into a more socially acceptable state with her fingers, she fidgeted under his gaze, wishing he would say something—anything—and put her out of her misery. She decided to strike first, unable to stand the silence any longer. “G-good morning! I’m gonna put on some coffee,” she spluttered, “I was also going to make some breakfast too—nothing crazy, of course—would you want any?” She sincerely hoped he would throw her a lifeline and respond, but his eyes were glued to her.

After letting her squirm a bit longer, he rose “There’s no need. I have to head back as there’s an interrogation to conduct. Keep your phone on your person this time. I’ll be in touch… Thank you for your hospitality.” He gave a subtle bow, leaving before she could form a response. Nanami watched him go, a part of her wishing he’d stayed a bit longer.

Brushing off his abrupt departure, she began texting Hitomi to coordinate their joint errand run. Remembering she still had a normal life to get back to.

H: You ready?

N: Yeah, just gonna throw on some clothes real quick

H: Cool. Be there in 15 😊

N: Like... actual 15 or “I just rolled outta bed” 15?

H: … Be there in 30

N: Mmhm~

Deciding it would be more fun to pick up breakfast treats with her friend, Nanami went back into her room to change. She picked out one of her favorite old band tees, some loose ripped jeans, and her favorite chunky sneakers, putting her hair into a ponytail with a fluffy scrunchy. It had been about 20 minutes since Overhaul left when she heard her other phone buzz on her nightstand. Pretending she wasn’t eager to answer, she casually walked over to the phone answering on the third ring.

“Answer on the first ring next time.”

“Wow, well hello to you too, sunshine.” A sigh could be heard on the other line and she would bet money he was already massaging his temples, “What’s so urgent?”

“Have you heard the name Dr. M?”

“Hm… no, doesn’t ring a bell. Why do you ask?” in the background she heard distinct cracking and whimpers. “… Overhaul, why are you asking me this and what is going on in the background?”

“If this interrogation goes well, then soon we’ll both know. Until then, keep your phone on you.” The line clicked. Having to set broken bones before, the cracking noises she’d heard in the background weren’t much of a mystery.

Before she could let her mind wander about the “interrogation”, her doorbell rang. Putting both phones in her bag, she went to the door, seeing through the peephole that it was Hitomi. She opened the door, giving her friend a warm embrace.

“Ready to go?”

“Actually, need to use your bathroom first, if you don’t mind. My bladder and I have not been on the same page lately.”

Chuckling, she let her friend through, “No problem, have at it.”

As Hitomi stepped through the door, her face dropped. “Something’s different.”

Thankfully Hitomi had her back turned to her or else she would have seen Nanami’s dodgy glances as she prayed her friend didn’t investigate further. Getting her involved was dead last on a very long list of things she wanted to do. “What are you talking about? Nothing’s changed,” she laughed nervously.

Hitomi began eyeing the place suspiciously before taking in a big whiff. Nanami watched the scene unfold in slow motion as she was powerless to stop it. Her eyes fell on the pillows and blankets on the couch, then the genkan where her shoes had been displaced by another pair, then—the final nail in the coffin—the set of tea cups that had been cleaned and neatly placed on the counter. Before she could appreciate that he’d cleaned up for her, Hitomi spoke, “… Who is he.”

“N-no one! I mean what are you talking about?”

“I smell…” she inhaled and paused for dramatic effect, “a man.”

“That’s me. I ran through the men’s section of a department store earlier. Got bombarded with samples.”

“The stores aren’t even open yet, you have your best linens folded neatly on the couch, and you have not one—but two—cups out that you only drink your special matcha tea in. Spill. The. Beans.”

“You can’t make me as there is nothing to spill.” Nanami deadpanned, as her phone rang. Judging by the ringtone, she knew it was the one she only used for Overhaul. Shit.

“… You gonna answer that?”

She knew she had no choice as she reluctantly retrieved the offending object, answering the call. She looked down, refusing to make eye contact with Hitomi who was already thinking of a million questions to ask. “Hello?”

“Ok. I know you’re intelligent. So why after I ask you to answer on the first ring do you then wait an additional three rings the next time I call?”

“Oh hey, Mrs. Ito! How are you?”

“Wait, what?”

“Oh, I’m so glad to hear that! I’m doing great as well, thank you for asking.”

“Ok, I’m taking back my intelligent comment.”

“Well aren’t you a hoot n’ a half! But can I call you back later? I’m about to go out on a girl’s day with my friend here.”

“… You’re really bad at this.”

“Oh, thank you! You’re too kind!”

“Text me when you can talk freely. Until then, get acting lessons.” She could hear a slight chuckle under his breath.

“Well that sounds great, I’ll talk to you soon! Oh, and I’ll be sure to put a big ol’ mark in my planner for you, ok? Buh-bye!”

“Wait, that didn’t even cou—” he began to protest as she hung up.

As she was already writing her Oscar acceptance speech for the performance in her head, she confidently pocketed her phone. Though when she glanced back up, Hitomi gave her a pitiful look, “He’s right, you are really bad at this.”

“Ok look, I can explain, I—”

“Hey, if you’re going this far to try and hide him, then I’ll take the hint and wait until you’re ready to tell me. I know you’re not very experienced with dating and all so I’ll give you a break for now… though judging by your glow this morning I’d say someone already came to give you a break, or should I say to ‘break you off’.” She said wiggling her brows.

Nanami narrowed her eyes in confusion for a beat, before she caught on, “What do you—OH NO. NONONO. Nu uh. None of that happened—or ever will happen.”

“Calm down, I’m just teasing. But when it does happen, just let me know if you need any tips. No need to make your first time your last, amiright?” Hitomi said much too suggestively for her liking as she tried to get his voice out of her head.

“Let’s… let’s just go.”

“Anything you want sweetcheeks,” she winked as she went to the restroom before they left.

As they got into the car, Hitomi listed off where they needed to go and decided it’d be best if she went to the post office first. While Nanami waited in the car, she texted Overhaul she had a moment. Almost instantly the phone rang.

“Well aren’t yo—”

“We need to talk.”

[superfreakerz]

TDDUP 25

"Til Death Do Us Part"

Reincarnation/Immortality AU.

Summary: There are immortals and there are those who reincarnate, but it's best to keep these things hidden. Lucy is attending college and meets Natsu, a mischievous boy with pink hair, a devilish smile, and a body that never ages.

Rated M for smut and heavy themes.

Read earlier chapters on FF.net

Chapter 25

Home

After spending the day packing her things, Lucy was all set for her trip back home. She had already let her teachers know she was going to be gone for a few days, made reservations at a motel, and booked her flights. All that was left was one thing.

Looking over her shoulder to make sure nobody was around- she already knew she was alone in her apartment, but it was just instinct to check- the girl lifted her mattress and retrieved her old locket. A nostalgic smile swept over her face as she ran her finger over the ragged edges. Opening it, she found the picture of her and her first set of parents.

Releasing a shaky breath, Lucy put the necklace on and tucked it underneath her shirt. Now wasn't the time to cry about it. She had plenty of time to do that over the next few days. Gray and Natsu were waiting outside for her, and she couldn't keep them waiting.

Making sure to lock the door behind her, Lucy found Natsu and Gray standing outside of a black car.

"I put your suitcase in the trunk," Natsu said once he saw her approaching. "Is there anything else you need on your trip?"

Lucy shook her head. "No, that's it. Thanks, Natsu. And thank you, Gray, for the ride. Whose car is this, by the way?"

The raven-haired boy shoved his hands in his pockets. "It belongs to a friend of mine."

"He sure is nice to let you borrow his car!"

Gray and Natsu shared a glance. Laxus wasn't necessarily nice, it was more like he owed them a favor.

"Anyways, we should probably get going," Gray said. "Don't wanna be late for your flight."

Lucy nodded, moving to sit in the back seat. Natsu slid in next to her, his fingers fidgeting to distract himself of his impending doom as Gray started the car. He took a motion sickness pill to lessen the effects, but they never lasted long for him and they didn't completely calm his stomach.

Lucy frowned as she watched Natsu fidget in his seat. She felt bad for putting him in this situation, but he had insisted on dropping her off.

"Are you okay?" she asked.

"For now," Natsu answered, taking a deep breath. "Don't worry 'bout me. Just think about your trip! You're gonna have to see your dad. Are you ready for that?"

Lucy nodded. In truth, this trip wasn't to see her father of this lifetime. "Uhh, yeah. We probably won't even see each other since he'll be busy with work and I'll be at the grave."

"How long are you stayin' there anyways?" Gray asked, glancing at the two in the rearview mirror.

"Only two days. I didn't want to take too much time off from school since finals are coming up."

"And you get there tonight?"

"Yep! Then I'll have a full day there tomorrow and then leave the day after."

Gray let out a whistle. "You're payin' a lot of money for a short trip."

"Yeah, but it's worth it," Lucy replied, her fingers grazing over the chain around her neck. She would need to bury the locket soon.

Natsu's eyes zeroed in on the small movement coming from the girl beside him. He'd never seen that necklace before. Hell, he'd never even seen Lucy wear a necklace. Before he could question it, Gray turned on the radio, blasting a hit song from the past. Just like that, the thought was out his head as the three of them bolted the lyrics.

Reaching the airport, Gray parked at the drop off zone. The three stepped out of the car, Natsu moving to grab Lucy's luggage.

"I'll see you in a few days," Gray said, ruffling Lucy's hair.

She huffed at him, fixing her hair before replying, "Alright. Thanks again for the ride."

"Don't mention it. Yo, Natsu. I'm gonna go find a parking spot."

"'Kay," Natsu replied. "I'm walking her inside. I'll be back." Rolling the suitcase behind him, he followed Lucy into the airport while Gray drove off. A frown rested over his face. He'd always hated airports. Not only were they crowded, but the fluorescent lights hurt his eyes. Not to mention it was a place specifically made for transportation. There was nothing to like.

Lucy grabbed her ticket before leading the way to TSA. Since Natsu couldn't be in the line with her, he stayed on the outside of the barriers, walking with her to keep her company. She was going to miss him for the next few days.

"Thanks for coming to drop me off," Lucy said. "I know you get motion sickness, so I appreciate it."

"Don't mention it," Natsu replied with a toothy grin. "I really wanted to see you off."

Her lips curved into a playful smirk. "You're really going to miss me, aren't you?"

"Psh. Whatever. You're the one that's gonna miss me."

"Yeah, I am," Lucy said with a shrug. There was no point in trying to hide it. "But I'll be back before you know it!"

"Good," Natsu replied, reaching over the barricade to grab her hand. "I don't know how long I can last without annoyin' you each day." His eyes traveled to the necklace around her neck. "Oh yeah. That a new necklace or something?"

Lucy's eyes widened as Natsu reached out to touch the locket. Jumping away, she grabbed the pendent and tucked it beneath her shirt.

"It's nothing," she said, knowing that he wasn't going to believe her after that.

Natsu eyed her. "What? Is it made of real gold or something and you're scared I'm gonna break it?"

"It's nothing, Natsu."

"Doesn't seem like nothing."

"It's just important to me, okay?" Lucy said. She squeezed his hand. "It was given to me by my mother. I just don't like other people touching it. I'm sorry."

Natsu studied her before shrugging. "Okay. I won't try to touch it again." Usually, he could read the girl like an open book. This time, however, he couldn't tell if she was lying to him or not.

Lucy stifled a sigh of relief. Her heart was pounding in her chest and she nearly broke out into a sweat just at the thought of Natsu finding out the secret behind the locket. Luckily, whether he believed her or not, he didn't question her about it further.

As they were just about to reach the front of the line, Lucy let go of his hand with a frown.

"This is it," she said.

Natsu shoved his hands in his pockets. "Yeah, guess so." Leaning over, he pressed a kiss to her forehead. "Have a safe flight, Lucy. And make sure to text me when you get there, okay?"

Lucy nodded. "Okay. Bye, Natsu. I'll see you in a few days!"

"Later, Lucy."

Lucy groaned, nearly collapsing to the floor as she stepped off of the plane. It was nearing four o'clock in the morning, and she didn't manage to get a wink of sleep on the plane ride thanks to an upset toddler who wailed the entire time. It didn't help that there weren't any layovers, so she was stuck sitting in an uncomfortable chair for almost ten hours.

"I can't believe I have to go through that again in a couple days."

Living up to her word, the girl fished her phone out of her pocket and sent Natsu a quick text to let him know she got there safely. With that out of the way, she grabbed her luggage before leaving the airport. She flagged down a cab to take her to the motel, where she immediately plopped onto the bed with a sigh. Her phone buzzed on the nightstand, probably Natsu texting her back. Too tired to pick it up, she let her eyes drift closed. She could call him tomorrow. For now, she was going to get some well-deserved sleep.

The next morning, Lucy woke up with a groan. Her body ached all over, and stretching didn't help at all. Dragging herself out of bed, Lucy grabbed her phone from the nightstand, expecting to see texts from Natsu. Sure enough, he had texted her once, letting her know that he was glad she got there safely. To her surprise- and upmost chagrin- there was also a text from her father's assistant.

"What can Father possibly want now?"

Opening the text, her eyebrows shot towards her hairline as she read it.

Miss Lucy, your father requests your presence. Please see to it that you will be here within the next few days. You will be accommodated for your ticket.

Next few days? Why did her father want to see her so soon? Not to mention so suddenly. She was already planning to go there over winter break. If there was one thing she knew about her father, it was that he didn't do anything without a reason. What reason did he have this time?

Her brows furrowed. This trip was about her first parents- her real parents. Now her mood was going to be dampened as she mulled over what was to come.

With a heavy sigh, Lucy grabbed her phone to switch flights. Instead of going home tomorrow, she would fly over to her father's place for a couple days before heading back to Magnolia. She didn't care if she had to pay extra for changing her flight. After all, he did say that she would be accommodated.

Lucy checked the time. Being in different time zones, Natsu was probably still sleeping. She'd have to let him know the change of plan later. For now, she had more important matters to tend to.

Heading into the bathroom, Lucy jumped in the tub for a quick shower. The pressure of the water was much too light for her liking, but it would have to do. She cut her shower short, as she had a big day ahead of her. Getting dressed and doing some finishing touches, she was out the door.

A wide grin settled over Lucy's face as she walked through town. Even though it had changed in the last decades, the simplicity of the small town remained. The family-owned bakery that her family used to go to every Saturday was still up- though, the owners she had known before had passed, the shop being passed down in the bloodline. Her high school had gone through some renovations. It was now a little bigger to accommodate for the slightly growing population.

She had so many memories in that school. She could still remember sitting at the lunch tables with her friends, chattering over the silliest of things. She could picture her favorite teacher, Mr. Wilson, who had always helped her with her writing. She could hear her old friends' voices telling her of a party that they were going to drag her to.

It was a fun life, one that she wished she could've lived longer.

Lucy walked to the outskirts of town where the cemetery was located. Much to her relief, there was nobody around. Not that it really mattered. Everyone from her first lifetime had passed away, and there were no remnants of her first lifetime left behind. She was safe, just a stranger passing through in the eyes of everyone else.

Stopping just in front of two tombstones, a smile spread over her face. Swallowing thickly, Lucy sat on the grass, sweeping her hands over the cold marble and the engravements of her parents' names. Her eyes stung with fresh tears, which she didn't bother holding back. Her fingers flew up to her locket, wrapping around the pendent.

"Hi, Mom. Hi, Dad," she said, her voice hushed under the pressure of her emotions. "I'm sorry it's been a while. You know how it is." Releasing a shaky breath, the girl craned her head back to stare up at the grey sky. "At least it isn't raining this time. That means I can spend more time with you guys."

Her hand tightened around the locket, its ragged, worn edges digging sharply into her palm.

"I miss you guys so much," she said, her voice cracking. "I think about you guys every day. I wish you were here with me. I want to introduce you to all of the friends I've made." Her cheeks pinked as she continued, "Especially Natsu. He's my boyfriend. It's shocking that I have one, right? With everything that happened, I really thought I was going to be alone forever. But I'm not. I'm not lonely anymore."

A warm smile stretched across her face. "You can thank Levy-chan for that! She's super sweet, you guys would love her. Smart, too. Like, insanely smart. She loves reading, just like me! That's how we met. Then she introduced me to her friends. There's her boyfriend, Gajeel. He hated me at first. But once I got to know him, I learned he's just a softy at heart.

"Then there's Erza and Jellal. They're married. Jellal's super kind and reserved while Erza is strict but caring. She can also be clueless at times, which is surprising to others. Oh, and there's Gray and Juvia. They're dating. I can totally see them getting married eventually, though. Juvia's really sweet. Protective, but sweet. And Gray's like the brother I always wanted. You know, it's weird. I've lived four lifetimes now and I still haven't gotten a brother! What is up with my luck?"

Lucy laughed, tears welling in her eyes again. "Remember how I used to always beg you guys for a brother? You would always tell me that raising me was like raising ten kids. Well, if you met Natsu, you would see that I was a very calm kid. I may not have known him when he was a kid, but I can already tell he was a wild child. He's rambunctious enough as it is.

"He used to break in through my window to hang out with me. Oh, but I promise he's not some serial killer or anything like that. He's just weird. But he calls me the weird one. I do wish you guys got the chance to meet him. He's sweet and always makes me laugh. And don't worry, he treats me right. I love him, and you guys would have too."

Releasing a shaky breath, Lucy brought her knees up to her chest. This was how her visits always went. She would tell them all about her new life, wishing to hear them reply. And just as she expected, they never did.

She used to feel alone sitting in front of their tombstones. But with the thought of her friends waiting for her back in Magnolia, she didn't feel so lonely this time.

Reaching the motel, Lucy plopped onto the bed with a sigh. Grabbing her phone, she found missed texts from Natsu. Calling him, she brought her phone up to her ear, listening to the dull rings before he finally answered.

"Yo, Lucy!" his cheerful voice rang out. "How was your flight?"

"Exhausting," she answered, rolling her eyes as she remembered the child that hadn't taken a breath between wails. "How are things over there?"

"Ehh, boring. But who cares 'bout that? How're you holdin' up?"

"I'm fine," Lucy said with a smile. And she meant it.

"Have you seen your old man yet?"

"Oh right, about that. I'm going to have to stay a little longer than I thought. Just a couple days more."

"What? Why?"

"I guess my father has something important he wants to talk about. I bet it has to do with an arranged marriage."

"What!? Do I have to fly over there!? Because I will, Lucy!"

A laugh slipped past her lips. "No, no. I've got it covered, don't worry. He's been trying to push me in that direction since high school. He can't force me to marry anyone, and I fully intend on telling him about you."

"Good."

"Well then again, the guy will probably have money."

"Luuucy!"

"I'm kidding, I'm kidding!" She cracked a yawn. "Anyways, I'm pretty tired. I think I'm going to go to bed now."

"Wait, don't hang up!" Natsu replied. "Can we just leave the call going for a little longer?"

"But I'll be asleep."

"I know."

Warmth spread through the girl's body, her face flaring. "Aww, do you miss me?"

"Psh. No way," Natsu replied.

"Mhmm. Well, I'll leave the call going for a while. Goodnight, Natsu."

"Night, Lucy."

When Lucy woke up the next morning, she wasn't surprised to see that the call had been ended hours ago. Jumping out of bed, the girl quickly got ready for the long day ahead of her, packing her things before flagging down a cab to take her back to the airport.

Her feet felt like bricks as she walked through the airport. She hated flying, and she especially hated the destination she was headed to. She could already picture her father's disapproving frown over her clothes.

The only thing that made the situation better was that at least she didn't have to go to her father's place over winter break anymore.

Boarding the stuffy plane, Lucy rested her head against the firm headrest, willing herself to fall asleep. She needed to be well-rested for what was ahead.

Stepping off the plane, Lucy raised her arms above her head in a stretch. Her spine satisfyingly popped. This flight had been much better than the last. There weren't any crying kids, her chair was slightly more cushioned than the last, and the food they provided was much better. Still, she wasn't looking forward to her next flight back to Magnolia in a couple of days.

Heading to the baggage claiming area, Lucy's brows furrowed in annoyance. She shouldn't have been surprised that nobody had put in the small amount of effort to meet her inside. Her father's assistant was just as much of an ass as he was.

Grabbing her suitcase, Lucy stepped outside, the night air cold against her skin. She spotted the sleek car that was parked for her among the sea of dented, banged up cars around it.

As she approached, her father's assistant stepped out. His hair was jet-black and slicked back. His brows were slanted as he gave her a disapproving look-over.

"It is nice to see you, Miss Lucy," he said, grabbing her bag and storing it in the trunk.

Lucy rolled her eyes. He didn't even put an ounce of effort into sounding sincere. "Yeah, you too."

"Are you ready to go?"

"As ready as I'll ever be."

The car ride was strenuous as she was forced to sit in silence with a man she detested. He wouldn't even turn on the radio, claiming that it would deter his attention from the road. Lucy had a feeling that the real reason was so that she would have to suffer even more. Oh well, she had to get used to dealing with assholes since she was going to be seeing her father soon enough.

Arriving at the mansion, Lucy took a deep breath to steel herself. She was sure that a battle of yelling was what awaited her. That was how her visits always turned out.

Heading inside, the girl was immediately swarmed by the staff, all of them weeping as they threw themselves against her and bombarded her with questions.

"Lucy!" Spetto wailed. "It's so nice to see you again!"

"It's nice to see all of you too," she replied with a warm smile. The staff were always kind to her growing up, acting as her family when even her father wouldn't. They snuck her some treats she wasn't allowed to eat, they got her out of boring lessons, and above all, they kept her company.

"Have you been eating well?"

"Yes, thanks to you teaching me how to cook!"

The older woman opened her mouth to reply but was cut short by Jude's assistant.

"I will take you up to your room. Your father expects to see you bright and early tomorrow morning, so do look your best. The maids have prepared your outfit for you already. You will wear that, and not these rags. You will be respectful at all times. Do I make myself clear?"

Lucy glared at him. "Crystal clear."

"Good."

After being escorted to her room- Lucy wanted to give a dry laugh that she had to be escorted- she sat on the bed. She took in her room. It was exactly the way she left it. Bare.

Grabbing her phone, she sent Natsu a quick text.

"I'm heading to bed now. I'm sorry I can't call. I don't want people listening."

His reply was almost instant. "It's okay. You talk to your dad yet?"

"Tomorrow. I'm not looking forward to it at all."

"Just channel your inner-Natsu!"

That brought a smile to her face. He always knew what to say. "Thanks, Natsu. I'm heading to bed now. I'll see you soon, okay?"

"Alright. Night, Luce."

"Goodnight, Natsu."

Lucy was about to place her phone on the nightstand when it buzzed again. Unlocking it, she found another text from Natsu.

"I miss you."

Her lips curled into a smile. "I miss you too."

With that, her anxiety was gone.

Lucy's stomach churned with each step she took closer to her father's office. Her ankles felt chained to iron balls, making her feet drag behind. Even though Natsu managed to calm her nerves last night, there was nothing he could do now that the moment was upon her.

Huffing as she nearly tripped over her large gown, Lucy stifled the urge to tear the damn thing off. It was so stuffy and thick, it felt like she was being suffocated.

Stopping just in front of the doors that led to his office, Lucy took a deep breath before knocking once.

"Father, it is Lucy," she said, trying to speak as formally as she could.

"You may enter," his frigid voice called out.

Taking another deep breath, she swung open the heavy doors, finding Jude sitting at his desk. Papers were piled high but stacked neatly. The bookcases were filled with large, boring textbooks. His room was cold, just as he was. While many fathers kept pictures of their families on their desks, there wasn't a single picture of her in sight.

"How are your studies coming along?" Jude asked.

Lucy bit back a frown. As always, he skipped over any form of a greeting. "My grades are great."

"Straight A's, I presume?"

"Yes, father."

"Good," he replied, stroking his bushy mustache. "As you know, I cannot have you making me look bad."

"You do that all on your own," Lucy thought bitterly. Instead of voicing her thoughts, she replied with, "Of course. May I ask why I have been called here so suddenly?"

"Yes, well, I have finished arrangements for you to marry the son of the Jullenel family." He turned his back to her, gazing out the large windows. "Marital ties with the Jullenel family will lay the foundation for Heartfilia Railways' southern expansion. This marriage will establish our future and our happiness.

"Happiness…" Lucy mumbled, her hands balling into tight fists at her sides.

Her father continued without skipping a beat. "And you must produce a boy. An heir to the Heartilia line. That is all. You may return to your room."

Lucy's brows furrowed as she glared daggers into her father's back. Was she, his own daughter, not worthy of his gaze?

"I refuse," Lucy said. Finally, he met her gaze, his dark orbs gleaming with anger.

"Lucy-"

"No. I refuse to let you choose who I marry!" she shouted. Her heart was pounding wildly in her chest, and not in the good way. Her body trembled with anger. "Why is it that every time you want to see me, it's because you want something from me?"

"Oh? Like you are one to talk," Jude replied sharply. "You are an ungrateful child who only contacts me for money so you can keep going to that school! I would suggest you bite your tongue!"

"I won't! I am sick and tired of you trying to control my life just so that you can make more money!"

"Lucy! Why don't you understand that everything I do is for the both of us!?"

Lucy stared at him incredulously. "For the both of us? How is any of this good for me!? If you really cared about me, you would've tried spending time with me! You would listen to my needs! You would treat me like an equal instead of some robot you can control with the push of a button!"

"You are naïve!" Jude shot back. He rounded the desk, looming over her. His face was etched with fury as he shouted, "You have no idea what it takes to make it in this country! You have never grown up poor thanks to my efforts! I fed you, put a roof over your head, and always made sure you got the best education possible!"

"Did you ever stop and wonder what I want?"

"Your wants are irrelevant to your needs! What you need is a stable future, one where you can support yourself!"

Lucy rolled her eyes with a scoff. "How is marrying some rich stranger supporting myself? I don't need someone else to take care of me! I don't need money or fancy dresses, I just need people to know me for me. I'm not Lucky Lucy Heartfilia, I'm just Lucy!"

Jude snapped his mouth shut, mulling over her heated words. In a voice softer than she was used to from the man, he replied, "Lucy, you may not think that money is important, but it is. Your mother and I grew up poor, struggling to make ends meet."

"I know the story."

"Yes, but you don't truly know the experiences."

Lucy reluctantly closed her mouth. It was true. In all of her lifetimes, she had been lucky enough to be born into financially stable families. Sure, the others weren't as wealthy as her family now, but they did just fine. She never had to grow up poor.

"Okay, you're right," Lucy said, the words leaving a bitter taste in her mouth. "I don't know what it's like. But isn't that a good thing?"

"Of course it is a good thing," Jude replied. "Which is why you need to do as I say so you never have to experience it."

Lucy's eyes widened a fraction, her mouth parting. Was this her father's way of showing affection? If so, he had a long way to go. Still, it was the most compassion she had ever sensed from the man.

"I would rather be poor than chained to a life of unhappiness," she said, staring up at her father. Fiery determination burned bright in her brown orbs. "I'm not marrying him, Papa. I won't have my happiness chosen for me. I'm going to get it myself."

"But Lucy-!"

"There's no changing my mind. For once in my life, I can truly say that I'm happy. I've made friends, I indulge in hobbies that I enjoy, and I even have a boyfriend."

Jude's eyes went wide. "A what?"

"A boyfriend," Lucy repeated without falter. "His name is Natsu. He may not be the kind of guy you picked out for me, but he makes me happy. I love him."

"Is he-"

"No, he's not rich."

Jude gave an exasperated sigh. "Do you love him enough that you are willing to throw away what you have?"

Lucy didn't need a second to think it over. With a bright smile on her face, she nodded. "Yeah, I do. I don't care if you stop paying for my school or my apartment. I don't need money for a happy life. And you don't either."

Knowing that Jude wouldn't warm up to her decision overnight- or perhaps ever- Lucy turned her back to him. Usually whenever she left his office after a chat, her shoulders were slumped and tears were streaming down her face. This time, her shoulders were squared, her eyes gleaming with resolve.

She reached for the doorknob when her father's voice called out to her.

"Lucy," he said, his voice grave. "That isn't the only reason I had you come home so suddenly."

Arching a brow, the girl turned to face him again. "What do you mean?"

His face creased as he frowned. "I am ill."

Lucy's face grew pale, her mouth dry. "Y-You're what?"

"I suffered a heart attack about a week ago."

"What!? How come I didn't hear about this?"

"Everyone agreed to keep it under wraps from the press. I didn't want anyone to know that I was sick. It is bad for business."

"Business? You had a heart attack and business is all you can think about?" Lucy gritted out. Her hands trembled at her sides.

"It is nothing too serious, the doctors said I shall be fine anyways with the proper rest," Jude replied, waving her off. He averted his gaze, the lump in his throat bobbing as he swallowed thickly. "It's just… I wanted to make things right in case things do not go well. You and I may not be close-"

"You think?" Lucy replied sarcastically.

Jude glared at her before continuing, "But I want to make amends. That is why I was pushing for those marriage arrangements. After my heart attack, I'm no longer able to work the way that I used to. If you marry into the Jullenel family, you will be taken care of even after I die."

Lucy furrowed her brows, her hands balling into tight fists as she shook her head. The lump in her throat caused it to constrict. Her eyes stung with fresh tears, but she refused to let them fall.

"Instead of trying to marry me off, we should be trying to get to know each other," she said. Every word burned in her throat, speaking made difficult thanks to her pent-up emotions.

Part of her told her not to forgive him. He always managed to make her life hell, and it wasn't like they were close anyways. But the other part of her, the part that was perhaps too forgiving to a fault, knew that it was the right thing to do. He was her father. Hell, even if he wasn't, she probably still would've done the same thing. That was just who she was.

"I won't let you decide my life," Lucy said. "But if you're willing, then I wouldn't mind trying to mend the bridge between us."

Jude's eyes softened a fraction, barely even visible.

"I understand," he replied. "I agree to your terms."

Lucy let out a quiet chuckle. Even now, he was speaking like a businessman.

Making amends with her father was going to be tough. She wasn't even sure if it was going to be possible. But if there was one thing that she had learned from experience in this lifetime, it was that people can change.

[thehomeforthehopelessromantics]

It’s Always Been Me and You: Part 2

Monday...

(C/N) POV

He saw you in the halls at school. You were at your locker, grabbing your stuff for your lit class. You had your hair up in a ponytail and were wearing a red, white and black striped sweater with a pair of overalls on top.

Cautiously, he approached you. He had no idea how you would respond to him and the anxiety of it was enough to shake him to the core.

“H-Hey.”

You continued grabbing and putting stuff away like you hadn’t even heard him.

“Love?”

You slammed your locker shut, grabbed your bag and left without saying a word or even sparing him a glance. He watched your figure as you got further and further from him, coming to a terrible realization.

You were giving him the silent treatment.

***

Thursday...

(C/N) POV

“You have reached the voicemail of...” Groaning, he ended the call and slammed the phone down on his bed next to him. This was his 10th time calling you today and every time you sent him to voicemail.

Refusing to give up, he opened up messages and shot you a text.

‘Love, I know you’re still mad at me, but it’s almost Friday. Are we still gonna be together this weekend?’

‘Please answer me..’

‘I’m sorry.’

‘I miss you.’

***

Saturday...

(C/N) POV

(C/N) lied in bed all day, staring at a picture of the two of you on his phone. It was a picture of the two of you on his 18th birthday a few months ago. You had smeared frosting onto his cheek and were licking it off of him. It was by far the funniest picture the two of you had together, but right now it was just making him sad since he didn’t know if he would have that with you again. Tears welled up in his eyes the longer he stared and before long he found himself full on sobbing.

His mother came into his room, sensing that something was very wrong. She knew that you didn’t come over last weekend and that he was still at home this weekend.

Upon entering she found her beloved baby boy, face down in a pile of pillows, clutching them desperately as the sobs overtook his body.

Without a second thought, she came and brought him to her chest, rocking him slightly, while his hands cling to the fabric of her dress. Hot tears stained the front of her dress, but she couldn’t‘ve even cared less at that moment. Her son was hurting and needed her.

“I... I screwed up so... so bad, mom.” He mumbled between sobs. He wanted to stop crying, he wanted to pull himself together but he just couldn’t. His best friend in the whole world wouldn’t speak to him and it was beginning to feel like he was dying without you.

***

Sunday...

He tried calling you 20 times. He never got a response.

***

Monday...

You wouldn’t even let him get close to you at school.

***

Saturday...

(C/N) POV

You two had fought before. Yelled nasty thing at each other for hours. You’d both been vicious and cruel and yet still managed to work it out. This time it seemed like working it out was out of the picture. For two straight weeks, (C/N) had tried to talk to you. Call, text, at school-- nothing. You wouldn’t even look at him anymore.

Today, he decided that enough was enough and that you were gonna talk to him whether you liked it or not. He couldn’t keep going like this. You were his best friend and right now it was feeling like he lost you and it was killing him. He tried being around Lilith a bit more, hoping that it would help, but ultimately it made him feel worse. 

And it wasn’t because Lilith wasn’t fun or interesting-- she was. She was that and so much more. She was a gymnast and student body president at her school. She volunteered at an animal shelter and was kind and sure of herself.

She was all that (C/N) could’ve asked for in a girl and yet the only thing (C/N) could think was that she wasn’t you. 

He needed to fix things with you as soon as humanly possible. 

Working up the nerve, he finally got out of his car that he’d been sitting in for 15 minutes now. He walked up to your door and knocked. 

As the door opened the apology started falling off his lips, “(Y/N), I’m so sorry for-” He quickly realized it wasn’t you at the door, but your older brother, Ace. 

“Hey, don’t stop on my account. I’m sure (Y/N) can hear you from wherever she is right about now.” 

“Ace?”

“Surprised?” he said, breaking out into a boyish grin. “Her birthday is coming up and I have a break from classes so I figured I’d come to surprise her. She has no clue I’m here yet. Did you really think I was gonna miss it?” 

“N-No, I just wasn’t expecting you to open the door.” (C/N)’s cheeks turned red with embarrassment. “Where is she?”  “She went somewhere with our parents. They made sure she was out of the house so I could come.” Ace said calmly as he crossed his arms over his chest. “Now why exactly are you showing up at the front door, apologizing profusely? You and the little monster get into a fight?” 

(C/N) nodded his head slowly, looking down at his feet. “I messed up really bad, Ace. I have no idea how I’m gonna fix it.” 

Ace paused for a moment before gesturing for (C/N) to come in. “I’ll tell mom and dad to keep her out longer.”

They sat down in the dining room and (C/N) began to explain exactly what had happened between them. By the time he was done explaining, Ace had clenched his jaw.

“She has every right to be pissed at you,” Ace scowled. “That was a real a-hole thing to say.”  “I know it was. I just..” (C/N) sighed and ran his hand over his face. “It was in the heat of the moment, I didn’t mean it. Now, I can’t even get her to be around me long enough to tell her I’m sorry.”  

“Do you know why you still want to be friends with her?” Ace asked, knowing that he should be flipping the table and kicking (C/N) out because he hurt your feelings in a way that no one else could. But he didn’t, mainly because you weren’t the only one he watched grow up. It was you and (C/N), and Ace saw how happy being (C/N)’s friend made you. He also knew that the boy sitting next to him was deliriously in love with his best friend and that she was just as crazy about him. 

“Of course I do,” he said exasperatedly, letting his fingers absentmindedly fiddle with the friendship ring you’d given him two years ago. “She’s honest and loyal and one of the funniest people I’ve ever met. She doesn’t ever judge me and she always has my back.” A small smile appeared on his face as he spoke. “She’s the only person I can stay up all night talking to and still miss her the second we stop. I’ve never met someone that I just clicked with like that. I can’t remember what my life was like before her and I don’t wanna know what it’d be like without her by my side anymore. She’s my person.” 

5 years worth of memories flooded through (C/N)’s head, but he kept coming back to one specific night about a year ago.

The two of you were at his house and it was around 2 in the morning. You were cuddled on his bed-- him lying on the headboard and you on his chest, watching Shrek 2 with two empty tubs of ice cream next to you. Your eyes were trained on the movie, which made sense seeing as it was one of your favorites. His eyes on the other hand just wouldn’t leave you. His hands kept trailing up and down your arm, drawing light patterns on your skin with his fingertips. He could’ve stayed right there in that moment forever and he was sure he would’ve if you hadn’t jumped up and started singing along with the fairy godmother’s rendition of “I Need A Hero.” He watched you dance around his room in one of his shirts and he felt totally at peace. He loved when you wore his clothes. They were always far too big on you, but you didn’t care-- claiming you like the fact that it smelled like him— it made you feel safe and at home. You plopped down on the bed next to him when the song finished. With a huge, breathless smile on your face, you brought yourself up between his knees, your arms draped around his neck.   

In the most adorable voice he’s ever heard in his life you whispered, “Be my hero?” 

That was by far his favorite memory of you. It was also the first time he’d wished that he had the guts to kiss you. 

“What do I do, Ace?” 

“I honestly don’t know this time, kiddo,” Ace admitted. He usually knew what to do to help mend things between you two, but not this time. This wasn’t a ‘he ate my ice cream’ or a ‘she keeps stealing my clothes’ situation. This was about what he said, about this girl he’s been seeing and the unspoken feelings between you two. 

“Do you think she’ll forgive me?”

“I think she needs you almost as much as you need her.”

***

On (Y/N)’s birthday... 

(Y/N) POV

Your fingers hovered over the send button for a least five minutes before you just closed your phone entirely. You’d retyped the message a thousand times now.

‘Can we talk?’

‘Do you wanna come over?’

‘I miss you.’

‘I wish you were here.’

This was infuriating. You were still mad at him but today was your birthday and every other important person in your life was downstairs while (C/N) wasn’t.

You hadn’t heard from him all day and you honestly were missing him terribly over these past few weeks. You wanted him to at least be here, even if the two of you didn’t speak.

Deciding that you’d spent enough time pondering about if he was gonna show up tonight or if you should just call him, you stood and looked yourself over in the mirror.

You had on a quarter sleeve cold shoulder black mesh top, that was opaque over the breast but sheer everywhere else. Paired with a skater skirt and a pair of knee-high boots, you looked stunning and ready to take on the world. Turning on your heel, you opened your door and waltzed downstairs to see your family waiting for you.

You were gonna be okay regardless of whether or not (C/N) showed up.... Right?

***

You were sitting on the couch, under Ace’s arm, listening to your Aunt Delilah tell a story about the time she accidentally performed at a concert she wasn’t supposed to be at in the first place. You were okay. Sitting with your family, talking, laughing and eating. It was fun, but you couldn’t shake that feeling that had been gnawing at you all night.

(C/N) should be here. He’s family too.

As Aunt Delilah finished her story, her husband, Ricky, piped up. “Hey, sport, where’s your other half? Usually, we can’t get you two to stop talking long enough for Delilah to get through a story.” Everyone laughed as you tried to give a smile that probably looked more like a grimace.

“Umm, I think he’s-” you started but were quickly cut off by the sound of the doorbell. Furrowing your eyebrows you looked around. “Are any of you expecting anyone else?”

Murmurs of no went through your family as you stood up, going to answer the door. You left the living room and went through the dining hall and the kitchen in order to get to the door. Upon opening it your jaw just about hit the floor.

Standing in front of you was (C/N) in a black hoodie and jeans holding a huge bouquet of carnations— your favorite flowers.

“Happy Birthday, Love,” he said nervously. “I-I know you’re still mad at me and I shouldn’t have shown up here today, but I couldn’t help myself. I had to see you.” He handed you the flowers. You looked up at him and quirked an eyebrow. “You still won’t speak to me, huh? Jesus, I made a real mess out of things, didn’t I?”

He dropped his head to stare at his feet as he blinked back an oncoming wave of tears and shoved his hands in his pockets, shuffling anxiously, mentally preparing himself for you to tell him to go away or to throw the flowers back at him or to slam the door. His chest hurt just thinking about the endless ways you could get rid of him.

“Thank you,” you said and his head snapped up to you. “I didn’t think you were gonna show up.”

“And miss your birthday?” He asked incredulously. “I wouldn’t be able to live with myself.” He bit down on his lips as he looked at you. He could’ve cried he was so happy. You were speaking to him again.

Shifting your weight from one foot to the other you asked, “How are things with Lilith?” You kept a calm face but internally you were praying he said awful. You didn’t know if you could handle it if things were going well with her.

His eyebrows raised in surprise. Of all the things he thought you would say, he didn’t predict that one. A nervous chuckle left his lips. “Nonexistent as of recently.”

“Really? What happened?” You asked curiously, a small part of your foolishly hoping that it had something to do with you.

“She just... she wasn’t what I really wanted.” His eyes met yours as he spoke and a shiver went down your spine. You nodded your head slowly. “Can I... can we talk? Please? I really need to fix this.”

You shook your head and stepped back gesturing for him to come in. The two of you walked silently into the kitchen where you took a seat on a countertop and he leaned against the wall across from you, gnawing on his bottom lip. He’d prepared his apology at least a hundred times on the way here and now, with you in front of him, he couldn’t say one word.

“So, are we gonna talk or do you want a picture?” You said with an icy edge to your voice, breaking the silence. The tension in the room was driving you mad. The corners of his lips turned up ruefully.

“(Y/N).. I am so sorry for what I said. I didn’t mean a word of it-”

“Why did you say it then?” You had intended to let him finish what he was saying but the question had been plaguing you for weeks now and if you didn’t get an answer you were gonna scream.

“I...” his voice trailed off. “I don’t know. I know that’s not a good enough answer but it’s the truth. I don’t know why I said that or where that came from. You’re my best friend and I love you. These past few weeks without you have been the worst weeks of my life.” He pushed off the wall and came and stood a bit closer.

Not close enough.

“So, what? You say sorry and I’m supposed to pretend that you didn’t basically tell me that you don’t want to be friends with me anymore?” You furrowed your brows in frustration. You wanted to forgive him, you missed him like crazy, but he still hurt your feelings really badly and you didn’t want it to feel like what he said to you was okay.

“I don’t expect that at all,” he said honestly. “I honestly was expecting for you to raise hell when I showed up here in the first place. It’s totally fine if you’re still mad at me-- I’m still mad at me, just don’t shut me out anymore, please. I can’t take it. The silent treatment is killing me and I miss my best friend.” He stuck his bottom lip out in an adorable pout that he only brought out when he wanted something from you. It was totally unfair and he knew it but he was desperate. 

You let your shoulders drop as you let out a long sigh. You were trying to stay mad, but when he did the pouting thing and sounded so miserable, you felt your resolve slipping fast. 

“Do you really think I’m clingy?” You asked in a small voice as you looked down in your lap. 

“No.” He came and stood in front of you. He wanted to pull you to him and kiss you until both your lips were sore, but he settled for just being close to you. In those few weeks without you, he almost forgot how much self-restraint he had to practice around you— and how intoxicating your presence was. “You are in no way, shape or form clingy. If anything I’m the clingy one. If you aren’t there I don’t even know what to do with myself,” he laughed lightly and you let out a snicker as you rolled your eyes shoving him lightly.

He quickly caught your hand in his own and held it against his chest as he moved to stand between your knees. Leaning forward he placed his forehead on yours and your breath caught in your chest.

He was so close.

You were grateful that you were already sitting or else you were sure your knees would’ve given in already. His scent engulfed you, making you feel safe and at home like it always did.

“I’m lost without you, love,” he whispered as he bumped his nose against yours. “I’m not prepared to lose you, (Y/N.) I can’t. I won’t survive it.”

You knew you should say something back. You should tell him that you forgave him or to back away or question him again, but you couldn’t even breath properly with him this close to you, let alone speak.

Jesus.

You thought that your heart was gonna leap out of your chest if he got any closer.

He knew he should back up, that he was going just a bit too far— getting a bit too close.

He knew that he was doing things that friends shouldn’t do with other friends. But you were sitting in front of him for the first time in forever and you were looking at him with those eyes that had always been a weakness for him. He’d do just about anything you wanted and all you had to do was look at him.

As he stood there he noticed how shallow your breaths were becoming.

Could it be possible you wanted him too?

Swallowing hard he opened his mouth and began to whisper, “(Y/N), I’m about to ask you something and I want you to know it’s perfectly fine if you say no, alright?” His gaze flickered between your eyes and your lips that were coated in chap-stick since you didn’t feel like putting on lipstick. They looked so soft and inviting— all he wanted was to find out what they felt like when pressed against his.

You nodded your head slightly and he took a deep breath. “Can I k-”

“Who was at the- oh,” Ace said as he entered the kitchen, mouth falling open at the sight of his baby sister on the counter with her best friend hovering too close to be considered friendly. (C/N) pulled away from you like you were on fire— a small part of him was scared your brother was gonna beat him for being that close to you. Your cheeks turned scarlet as you stared down at the floor, baffled.

Was he about to ask if he could kiss you?

“I was wondering when you were gonna show up,” Ace smiled at (C/N) and threw an arm over him. “So you two made up?”

(C/N)’s eyes immediately went to you, silently begging you to tell him that things were okay between you. You nodded, maintaining eye contact with (C/N) who broke into the widest grin you’d ever seen on him.

“Great!” Ace exclaimed. “That means I don’t have to actually be her big brother and kick you out. Being her brother is exhausting, y’know.”

“It couldn’t be half as much work as being your little sister,” you joked, sticking your tongue out at Ace.

“On the contrary, little monster, you continually prove yourself to be quite the handful. Especially around loverboy here.” Ace squeezed (C/N) shoulder in a playful manner, but (C/N)’s stomach lurched as he looked at you, almost scared of your response.

You saw exactly what your brother was doing. He knew you had feelings for (C/N) and he was trying to call you out. Refusing to give him the satisfaction, you simply said “If anyone’s the handful, it’s you. The number of times I’ve had to lie for you. God. I should get an academy award for my performances.”

A strange sense of relief and disappointment spread in the pit of (C/N)’s stomach. You hadn’t said anything basically outright telling him that you didn’t want him, but that was because you didn’t address that part of the sentence at all. A second ago, he was pretty sure you were gonna let him kiss you because you wanted him too, but now he had no idea.

“Yeah, yeah.” Ace rolled his eyes. “Be sure to give me a shout out when you win your first award since I was the one who gave you your first gig. Let’s go, Uncle Ricky is waiting.”

“Why?”

“You know him, he’s as nosy as it gets. He wants to know,” a sneaky grin spread across your brothers face as he looked between you and (C/N), “what was taking you so long.”

Your heart immediately dropped to your feet as you realized the compromising position your brother had caught you two in. “You wouldn’t dare.”

“Try me, little monster.” Ace smirked at you before blowing you a kiss and starting to run away. You were quick on your feet and chasing him almost immediately.

Heels be damned.

“Ace! Get back here!”

Ace ran all the way to where your family was sitting in the living room, opening his big mouth he said breathlessly with a huge grin on his face, “Hey Uncle Ricky, you won’t believe what I-” You didn’t even want to know how he was gonna finish his sentence and you weren’t gonna find out. You literally jumped on him, causing you both to topple to the floor as a chorus of laughter erupted throughout the room.

Popping up, onto your feet and adjusting your skirt so you weren’t flashing anyone (by anyone you meant (C/N)) you gave everyone a bright smile and said: “Guess who finally showed up.”

Everyone followed your line of sight to see (C/N) standing in the doorway, staring back at you adoringly. You were the only person he knew that could tackle your older brother to the floor and get up like nothing happened.

“C/N! Hey, come on in, have a seat,” your mom said and (C/N) happily obliged.

You watched for a minute, loving how well he fit in with your family before he turned to you and patted the empty seat next to him, mouthing a quick “I miss you,” that made your heart flutter before going to sit next to him. Automatically, he had you under his arm, pulling you to his chest and you had to fight the smile that was trying to make its way onto your face.

***

“Are you gonna stay the night?” You asked while absentmindedly tracing shapes on (C/N)’s abdomen. Your family had left a little while ago, your parents going upstairs as well as Ace, the rest of your family going back home. It was around 11 now and you and (C/N) were still sitting on the couch cuddled together.

You had your head in his lap and his fingers gently traced the frame of your face, moving into your hair to play with it.

“I didn’t pack an overnight bag,” he said with a small pout, almost upset with himself. “I didn’t think that this night would go as well as it did. Thought you would’ve slammed the door in my face.”

“You thought I was that mad?”

He scoffed as he tugged at your hair slightly to make you look at him, “You gave me the silent treatment for two straight weeks. You wouldn’t talk to me, look at me or even be around me. Yeah, I thought you were that mad.” Rolling his eyes, he let out a sarcastic laugh.

“Well if it makes you feel better, I was hoping all day that you would show up. I didn’t care if we didn’t speak at all, I just wanted you here. Felt wrong having every other important person in my life here and not having you here.”

“Really?” He asked, looking down at you with uncertainty. “I thought you didn’t care. Was scared that you were done with me entirely.”

“Don’t be ridiculous.” You hit his stomach lightly. “I don’t care how mad I get, at the end of the day you’re family. I can’t imagine what my life would be like without you.”

He smiled down at you softly, your words making him practically melt. After two long weeks, you were here, lying in his lap, staring up at him with those gorgeous eyes and he couldn’t have been happier.

“Alright, alright,” you waved a hand dismissively through the air. “Enough sentimental stuff, you know I love you already. I wanna know what happened with Lilith.”

Knowing that they didn’t work made you happy in a way you shouldn’t be but you were also curious as to why.

“Oh uh..” using his free hand he scratched the back of his neck nervously. “Nothing really. We started spending some time together and she’s amazing, but she’s just not what I need, y’know?”

His heart was pounding in his chest. This felt too much like him telling you that he wanted you and it was scaring the life out of him.

“What is it that you need?” You asked, staring up at him with innocent questioning eyes.

You. You. You.

“Just... something else. Someone else,” he muttered under his breath, almost hoping that you didn’t hear him. He wanted to tell you exactly how he was feeling. He thought about how easy it would be for him to just blurt it out, but he didn’t know if you felt the same. He would rather keep you in his life as a friend than lose you trying to push for more.

And yet, as much as he tried to sit there and convince himself that this was enough— that just being your best friend was enough, everything in him was telling him it wasn’t. It never would be.

He wanted to be your best friend, your boyfriend, your lover, your confidant, your other half. He wanted to be able to kiss you and call you his. He wanted you— all of you.

“(Y/N)?”

“Hmm?”

“If I asked to kiss you what would say?”

You could’ve choked on your own spit as your eyes snapped to his before you got a hold of yourself and gave him a playful smirk, thinking this was just another one of your normal teasing moments. “Awww, honey. If you wanted me all you had to do was say so,” you said singsongily as you sat up so you could look at him directly.

“So that’s it? All I have to do is say so and you’re mine?” He wrapped an arm around your waist and pulled you closer to him.

“Just say the word and I’m yours,” you mumbled in agreement, beginning to feel like this was more than your normal teasing. His eyes were trained on your lips, staring at them like you would stare at a piece of art. “(C/N).” you said lowly.

“Yes?” He whispered, still staring at you as his eyes glazed over. One of his hand reached up to push a strand of hair behind your ear.

Hesitantly, you leaned in until you were a breath away from him. One small move and his lips would be against yours. “Tell me what you want.”

Titling his head he leaned in and let his lips brush over yours. “You.”

Your heart was beating so fast you couldn’t even hear it anymore. “What are you waiting for?” you mumbled against his lips and that was all he needed to hear.

He smashed his lips to yours fervently and his hand cupped the back of your neck keeping you pressed against him, while his other hand tighten around your waist. You kissed back just as desperately, grabbing him by the front of his hoodie to draw him closer, not liking the space between the two of you, no matter how small.

You pulled back for a second to say something, but completely forgot whatever it was you were gonna say a second later as he reattached his lips to yours. Without even thinking, he grabbed your leg and placed it on the other side of him so you were straddling him. He knew he should probably slow down but he didn’t know how. Not when you tasted this good and felt so right pressed against him like this.

His hands didn’t seem to know how to stay still, moving from your face to your neck to your waist and hips to your bare thighs as your skirt continued to ride up. Absentmindedly you grinded down into him, eliciting a surprised groan of pleasure from him. His lips left yours for a moment to pull his hoodie off, the fabric was keeping him from feeling you the way he wanted and it was driving him mad.

Gripping your hips and pulling you close, he pressed open mouth kisses to your neck. He stopped for a moment to bite down, causing a moan to come from the back of your throat and you felt him smile and laugh a little against you.

“What’s so funny?” You asked while trying to catch your breath. He pulled back to look at you, pressing a firm kiss against your lips.

“That’s the first time I’ve ever heard you moan,” he said with pride laced in his voice. He loved the sound and had every intention of pulling it out of you as many times as he could. You rolled your eyes at him and shook your head.

Before you realized it, he had your chin gripped tightly in his hand, forcing you to look him in the eye. “Keep doing that and I’m gonna have to give you a reason to roll your eyes.”

The threat sent a shiver down your spine as he leaned in and bit down hard on your bottom lip, making you wince.

After licking it to ease the pain, he looked at you again, a sharp challenging look in his eyes. “Understood?”

Not trusting your voice, you nodded your head. If you weren’t turned on before you definitely were now.

Smirking at you, he mumbled, “Good.” And then you were lost in his kiss again, his tongue forcing its way into your mouth, making you let out a broken moan.

You don’t know how long you sat there locking lips, but things were getting heated quickly between you grinding into him, his hands moving further and further up your thighs, gripping them so tight that you were sure you were gonna have bruises in the morning and the moans you both were letting out. The sexual tension alone was enough to drive you to keep going, but eventually, you needed to breathe, much to both of your dismay.

Pulling back, you both tried to catch your breath. His grip on you didn’t loosen at all, he was scared you’d move away if it did. Simultaneously you realized that this wasn’t just some guy who you kissed and were now on top of— this was (C/N.) Your best friend.

A part of you was scared that it was just a heat of the moment thing rather than anything more. God, you prayed it was more.

“Well, that was...” you started dazedly.

“Yeah,” he finished for you, still out of breath, a small smile making it way onto his face.

“So um,” you cleared your throat, sitting up a little straighter while taking a deep breath, pushing a few stray hairs behind your ears. “What was that?”

“I think that was called a kiss, love. I’m sure you’ve done it before,” he teased, tugging you closer by your hips. You weren’t sure how much closer the two of you could get, but this didn’t stop him from trying.

“Yes, I’ve done it before,” you rolled your eyes, “I-”

“What did I say about rolling your eyes?” He asked sternly as he squeezed your hips to get your attention as if he didn’t already have it. You lost your train of thought as the idea of rolling your eyes again just to see what he would do crossed your mind.

“Uh, as I was saying,” you made a conscious effort not to roll your eyes like you wanted to. “Friends don’t kiss friends and we’re supposed to be,” you voice wavered off as he started tracing small circles on your sides, “just friends.”

Moving closer, he pressed light kisses on your neck. “We.” Kiss. “Aren’t.” Kiss. “Just.” Kiss. “Friends.” He bit you and you let out a small groan. His head moved up so he was looking you directly in the eye.

“(C/N), what are you trying to sa-”

“I’m saying that I love you,” he said with surety in his tone. He didn’t know if you felt the same way he did before, but after a kiss like that, he was sure. There was no way you could kiss him like that and not feel anything. 

You couldn’t believe your ears and you look at him with disbelief. “Babe, this isn’t a good time for you to be joking around.” The pet name slipped off your lips before you could stop it and he smiled. 

“And who says I’m joking around, love?” 

You bit down on your bottom lip, still not sure if you should believe him. It sounded too good to be true.

“Do you remember that night that we sat up in my room watching Shrek 2 and you started singing I Need a Hero?” he asked randomly and your scrunched up your face. 

“Of course, but what does that have to do with anything?”  “That was the night I realized just how hopelessly in love with you I am.” Taking your hands in his, praying silently that you believed him. “For as long as I can remember, you’ve always been there. I don’t remember what my life was like before you came into it. Every girl I’ve ever tried to be with always turned me down because they all said that they thought that I was in love with you. At first, I thought they were crazy,” he let out a quick laugh as he looked down at your hands. “Until I realized that I was comparing every girl to you. None of them even came close to you, baby.” 

“(C/N)-” “Wait, just... let me finish this. I might chicken out if I don’t get all this out right now,” he said, cracking a smile. You nodded understandingly and he continued.  “The reason that I didn’t want you there when Lilith came over was that I knew if you were there, I wouldn’t be able to focus on anything else.” He let out a shaky breath, the first visibly nervous action you’ve seen out of him since he kissed you. “I tried getting over you. I tried to put all those feelings into Lilith, but the more time I spent with her these past few weeks, the more I thought of you. I even kissed her, and it was a good kiss,” you raised an eyebrow at him, silently asking why he was telling you about his kiss with another girl. Laughing a little, he kissed your knuckles. 

“But no matter how good a kiss it was, I still pictured myself kissing you. No matter how much I tried, she was never gonna be you.”  Placing your hands on his chest, he wrapped his arms around your waist. 

“I can’t keep kissing strangers and pretending it’s you,” he whispered like a confession. “I don’t want anyone else and I don’t want to pretend I do.”  You scrambled mentally for something to say and after a few beats you said with a loving smile on your lips, “You win.”  “I win?” You could’ve laughed at the puzzled look on his face. “I tell you I love you and you tell me I won?” He let out a nervous laugh. “Am I missing something?”

“You don’t remember our deal? You take a risk that I deem worthy and I’ll do any one thing for you. You told me you loved me-- huge risk. So you win. All you have to do now is claim your reward,” you said suggestively. He stared at you blankly for a moment before realizing what you were saying. 

You slung your arms over his neck as he grinned mischievously. “So I get to have anything? Anything I want? Including you?” 

“I said anything, didn’t I?” you said sweetly as you gave him a quick kiss on the mouth. He tried to kiss you again, but you stopped him. Before he could protest and plant another kiss on your lips you said, “I love you too.” 

That effectively froze him in place. This whole day had to be a dream. Not only did he get his best friend back, but she loved him back too? If he died now he would die a happy man.  “I’ve known it for a while now, I just didn’t think that you feeling the same way was possible.” You rested your forehead against his and whispered, “You can have me anytime you get ready, all you have to do is ask.”

“Be mine?” He whispered back, his lips ghosting over yours.

“I’ve been yours for a long time, babe. It’s always been me and you.”

This time you leaned in to connect your lips together, knowing that there was nothing else either of you could’ve said to each other.

***

One year later...

“Where’s the birthday girl?” (C/N) shouted as he came bathing into your dorm room with a bouquet of flowers and balloons and a gift bag.

Excitedly, you hopped off your bed and ran directly into his arms.

“There you are,” he mused as he hugged you back tightly. It’d been a while since you’d seen him face to face since you’d been holed up in your room studying for your Lit exam that was coming up. “Happy birthday, my love.”

Pulling back slightly, you pushed up on your tippy toes and pressed a firm kiss to his lips before mumbling against them, “Happy anniversary.”

Tag list:

@trumpettay @sweetcoldpeach @ihaveanobsessionwithdanielhowell @sr-rs @jermthemelancholygiraffe @introvertedrhi @toxicdonatsu @kiwidawn @thegreenpea

[luckyukhei]

Decisions

Word Count: 2.1k! This one beats "Okay, Twilight" in length.

A/N: I've been working on this idea for ages! I'm finally doing it!

Summary: In her third year of going to a school notoriously known for its high population of Seoul's richest kids. In a world where her economic class is the most important thing about her, she's now faced with a more prevalent question. What Will You Choose?

AU: High School, Rich Kids

Pairing: Jaehyun x Reader x Jaemin

Teaser Jaemin Version - Teaser Jaehyun Version

The first day of school was stressful just because of all the talk of class fees that your scholarship didn’t particularly pay for. Your group of friends waited for you as you made a call to your cousin asking if they had shifts for you to pick up at the family restaurant.

Making your way back to the group as they started walking with you. They were on scholarship to this school as well but, you were the poorest of the group. Being the goofs they were they were playfully horsing around. While you were quiet. 

You felt a hand on your shoulder and Jaemin’s voice manifested directing itself at you, “What did your cousin say?”

“Oh,” You covered his hand in yours, “She’s picking me up to talk to my uncle about it?”

Haechan’s voice interrupted the small moment with the mentioning of someone else, “Chunja looks like she changed a bit over the summer. You going to slide up on her?” 

“Who says that?” Renjun squinted at the unarguably most wild of the bunch.

“I do, No fun Renjun.” Haechan raised his fist to pretend to hit Renjun but, instead, he nudged Jaemin.

Jaemin rubbed his neck,” I dunno maybe. You think she’d be into me?”

Your heart barely had time to swell in an odd feeling when the whole group slowed down. You didn’t have much of a choice because of your position in the middle of the group but, to stop as you heard the speeding of a car pass the group with hooping and hollering. 

You looked at Mark as he mumbled, “God. They’re such asses. Rich kids...”

The group continued their own conversations even causing Chenle’s dolphin laugh ring out among the group.

You squeezed through to stand next to him, “Don’t you hang out with them sometimes?”

He nodded in response, “That’s only because my uncle has money and makes his stepson take me with him so my mom feels like I’m assimilating fine.”

“Look at you! Using big words! Sounding all educated.” You laughed at him and he gave you a big brother seeming smile. 

They always dropped you off at your house first then Jaemin as he lived right next to you. This time you took notice of your cousin’s car in the driveway along with your mother’s.

“Movie night at Mark- Hyung’s on Saturday!” Jisung reminded you.

“Jisung, it’s Monday. What are you gonna do? Remind her every day?” Jeno teased as they left. 

You walked inside greeting your siblings, who excitedly talked about the first day back from break, and mother, who always took the first day of school off of work.

“Jiwoo is waiting for you in your room. We’ll talk about your day when you get back.” Your mom winked at you as she continued listening to your young sister.

“Yes, ma’am.” You nodded at her and walked to your room.

After years of saving up and asking for certain decorations for your birthday or even creating some of them, including a wobbly desk that served as a reminder of why you and the “Dream Team” shouldn’t be anywhere near Woodworking class or power tools in general. One thing that wasn’t apart of your room was your cousin who was lounging on your with two big bags set on the floor.

“What did you bring me?” You asked, tossing your bag in your desk chair.

“Well, hello to you too,” Jiwoo chuckled and wobbled on her knees to the edge of the bed, “I figured that since the girls at my college really liked you from your visit, they wanted to add on to this set of hand me downs. They even gave you old jewelry and shoes. Those are in my car. Although it seems lame that you’re wearing others clothes and stuff.”

You smiled as you looked through the clothes, “Are you kidding me? These are all so pretty and nice!”

“Yeah. They’re nice but, you deserve clothes you bought not preowned.” She told you with sadness laced in her voice.

“That’s why I work hard now, Ji... Tell them I said thank you,” You gave her a big smile as you held up a crop top and a pair of jeans, “For now, let’s try on this cute outfit.”

You sat with Jiwoo and ate ice cream that she leaves in the freezer just in case she has to stay in the restaurant late. You both eat ice cream out of the tub and talk.

“Today, on the way home Haechan was talking to Jaemin about Chunja,” You started scooping out a spoonful of ice cream.

“And this is significant why?” Jiwoo asked, sipping her drink.

“First off, Jaemin is my best friend and he has never, ever, said anything about this girl to me.” You put the spoon in your mouth.

“Is sweet little Y/N jealous?” Jiwoo teased.

You rolled your eyes, “No, I’m not jealous. Just worried. Chunja is one of the most popular girls in school and I think she’s-”

You dragged your eyes to look at a group of boys who started to wave you over. 

“Those kids go to your school?” Jiwoo asked looking over.

“Yeah. They’re Flushes.” You told her standing.

“Flushes?” She asked tilting her head. She grew up rather middle class so some slang she just hasn’t heard.

“Shitty rich people.” You told her before walking over to the table.

You knew of all of them. You knew Lucas fairly well. He hung out with you and The Dreamies every now and then. He was a cool person and fit right in but, he only hung out with the group if his rich friends. He did tell you when he hung out with his friends if you or anyone in the group saw him call him Yukhei.

“Hey, Yukhei!” You gave him a fist bump and a wink.

“Hey, beautiful. I’ve got a few questions for you.” He told you with his ‘playboy’ voice.

“Anything for you.” You nudged him.

“What are you doing here?” Lucas smiled.

“I hope your hoodrat friends aren’t here,” Taeyong muttered before being hit by Jaehyun.  Taeyong was known for his distaste for the scholarships. He would go out of his way not to be associated with any of them except Mark.

“My family owns this place.” You answered ignoring the comment and the assault of Taeyong.

“They do?” Jaehyun inquired seemingly interested. You had a few classes with Jaehyun but, you never really talked because you had at least one member from your group in your classes. But, this year he has two classes with you. One filled with his friends and another with you and two of your friends.

You nodded and looked at Yukhei, “Next question. “

“That ice cream you had looked really good... Do they sell it here?”

“No, sorry.” You chuckled and rubbed on your neck.

“See I told you,” Jungwoo hit Yukhei’s shoulder then looked at you, “Yukhei’s is wrong about most things.”

Jaehyun spoke up,” He was right about one thing.”

“Oh? What was that?” You asked playing along.

“You definitely are beautiful,” Jaehyun took your hand gently, “We’re having a party this Saturday. I would love for you to come.”

You looked around before leaning toward the center and beckoning them to lean, “I’m sure you wouldn’t want a hoodrat messing up your party. Plus, I’ve got better things to do than hang out with a bunch of Flushes.”

Before any of them could respond you did a full 180 and waved them goodbye, “Bye, boys. Don’t forget to tip your waitress. I know you’ve got the cash.”

You slid into the office where your uncle usually counted money at night and where the security footage was collected. He told you to wait in there while he finished some things up. Jiwoo was seated on the table and started clapping as you slipped in.

“I have no idea what you did but, they tipped Ms.Kim fifty dollars,” Jiwoo smirked at you,” One of them left you his number.”

“Toss it.” You told her.

“Y/N... He’s a rich kid. Maybe his your way out.”

“He’s a Flush and I’m my own way out.” You couldn’t continue because your uncle came in.

“Y/N, I can’t give you any shifts.”

Your heart dropped, “I need the money...” You were willing to do anything. You worked hard to make sure you were helping your mom out in any way. As long as her and your siblings were taken care of you would work every minute you weren’t in school.

He held out a stack of bills,” That’s why I’m handing it to you. Y/N, you work so hard for everything you have so now it’s time for us to let you relax. You’re still a kid. You aren’t an adult you shouldn’t work like one. Just maintain good grades and get out of the lower class and I’ll help take care of you.”

Your eyes began to water before tears quickly made their way down your chin before you hugged the old man with as much strength as you could muster, “Thank you so much.”

Little did any of you know that the blessing to relax would come at the cost of teenage drama.

That night you were putting your new clothes, shoes, and jewelry away while playing music. There was a knock on your window. You jerked your head towards the window and saw a smiling Jaemin at your window. This was a frequent occurrence that started in middle school. When Mark wanted to hold a group meeting or Jaemin just wanted to come over.

You unlocked the window and slid it open, “Are you staying or are we going?”

“We’re going. Put a jacket and some shoes on.”

“Yes, sir.” You pulled a pair of shoes on and a jacket before taking Jaemin’s hand and climbing out the window and on to the raggedy old roof. From there you climbed down the tree by your house that connected your backyards.

You both dusted your hands off and stuffed your hands in your pockets. You two didn’t really talk. There were a few reasons for that.

A group of voices and smell of distant weed was one of those reasons. Instinctively Jaemin yanked your hood to cover your head and then covered his. He brought you into his side and shielded you. 

The group watched you two walked by. They used to be your friends. You grew up with them but, ever since your group got scholarships to the “rich kid school” they felt like your group was trying to become “Flushes”. Although that wasn’t the case.

Another reason was keeping quiet until you got to the rest of the group as it was in your best interest not to get caught as rumors spread fast in a school full of snobby kids who are all watching all the time. Looking for reasons to justify the want in the separation of both groups.

The meeting place was at the picnic table by the swings in the park. Jaemin hopped the fence and you followed suit. 

The smell of pizza caused you to run to the spot and grab a slice of pizza. 

“Hello to you too,” Chenle commented and you lovingly leaned on him.

With a mouthful of pizza, you asked,” Who’s to thank for feed yours truly?”

Mark raised his hand and you blew him a kiss.

“What’s the meeting about, great leader?” Jaemin asked in a joking manner.

“It’s about Saturday,” He leaned on the pole,” Johnny, my uncle’s stepson, invited us to a party this Saturday.”

“Okay... Did you say no?” Jeno asked eating some pizza.

“I told them we’d be there.” Mark sighed at the chorus of groans.

“Saturday is for the boys plus, Y/N not a bunch of rich kids we don’t like.” Jisung voiced.

“For once in his very young life, Jisung is very right.” You spoke up.

“Guys, this is our chance to befriend the rich kids. Show them that we aren’t that bad. So, Saturday, I want you in your best party clothes. I want you guys to show those Flushes how we ‘hoodrats’  get down.” Mark got his leadership voice and you raised your hand.

“We can meet up at my place since it takes me the longest to get ready.” You offered.

“I’ll take my dad’s van and pick everyone up,” Jeno suggested.

“Sounds good,” Mark nodded, “Y/N, did your uncle give you any shifts?”

“He told me to stop working like an adult and to relax then handed me money for class fees “ 

Haechan smiled at you, ”Thank Goodness. Now we don’t have to hang out at the restaurant when you work. What are we gonna do with all this time with our favorite girl?”

“Get through the party with the rich kids,” Jaemin answered.

[sofreakinmanyfandoms]

The Nice Guy - Part 3

Here it is, all. Part 3 of 6.

Word count: 1986

Warnings: Mentions of depression and attempted suicide

------------------------------

“Hi.”

At the soft voice, you looked up from your spot on the couch and saw your best friend standing in the doorway. You would regret giving him a key if you were currently capable of feeling emotions.

When you didn’t respond, Clint came over and knelt in front of you. You tried to ignore him in favor of snuggling deeper into your blanket burrito, but he pulled the edge of the blanket away from your face.

“Did you quit your job?” he asked.

All you could muster was a nod.

“Are you taking the semester off?”

Another nod.

“Have you told the school yet?”

A head-shake no.

“All right, here’s what I’m going to do.” His voice was so soft and comforting you were suddenly near tears. “I’m going to call the school and tell them – I’m still your emergency contact, right?” A nod. “Okay, good.  I’m going to call them and tell them you won’t be taking classes this semester. They’ll give you a week to move out of your apartment. Then I’ll call Nat and Bucky, and they’ll come over and the three of us will pack up your stuff and move you in with Nat and I. You won’t have to worry about rent; we’re covering it just fine.”

“Thank you.”

It was a broken whisper, but it was a reply. Clint closed his eyes briefly before locking them back with yours and stroking a hand through your hair.

“Anything for you, love. We’re gonna help you get through this. All of us.”

There turned out to be a lot of shifting in the housing department. Sam wasn’t doing so well on his own either, so Steve became his new roommate and Natasha and Bucky got an apartment together, freeing up Nat’s old room for you to move into. Clint waved off your question about rent now that he and Natasha weren’t splitting the cost.

“Don’t worry about it,” he told you. “I run errands for the lady who owns this building and she gives me a discount on rent in exchange. I’ve got it covered.”

---------- 

Nat pulled Clint aside during the moving shuffle when you were nowhere near hearing range.

“Are you going to be okay living with Y/N?” she asked him.

“Of course I will be. Why wouldn’t I?”

“Because you’ve had a crush on her for twelve years and you’re taking a semester off to take care of her? Don’t deny it, I saw the paperwork on the kitchen counter.”

Clint sighed and hung his head, hand coming up to rub the back of his neck. “I know that even if she were interested in a relationship with me someday, it won’t be anytime soon, but I can’t leave her alone like this. She’s drowning. Riley meant as much to her as he did to Sam, and Sam grew up with the guy. He was about to propose, asked me to help him find a ring she would like; we were going to go a couple days after the accident. She needs someone to help her through this, and if I have to basically be the gay best friend to help her out, I will, no hesitation.”

“Just don’t get hurt,” Natasha said softly, reaching out to rub his arm. “I care about Y/N, but I care about you too. If it gets to be too much, we can swap things around with the roommate situation. Bucky and I talked about it, although I told him Y/N might end up needing a female roommate. Either way, we’ll make it work, but don’t let yourself get in too deep because you feel obligated. You have a tendency to care for people at the cost of your well-being.”

“Guilty as charge,” he grinned ruefully. “I’ll be careful, I promise.”

“You’d better be.” She pulled back and changed her tone to something more playful. “If you’re not, I’ll have to come over and kick your ass, and that would interrupt my extra time with Bucky, which I am very much looking forward to.”

“I’ll be careful.”

----------

“How many days since you last showered?” Clint asked when he got home from work.

You sighed. He was always checking in with you, making sure you were drinking enough water, eating properly, actually doing your laundry and putting it away after instead of just recycling anything that didn’t smell too terrible.

“I don’t know. Maybe three or four?”

“Right. Change.”

There was no point in arguing, so you dragged yourself to your room to change into your bathing suit before meeting him in the bathroom. It hadn’t taken long for Clint to figure out that even when you didn’t have the energy to clean yourself, you could still soak in the tub. He’d started running hot baths for you which you would take in your suit while he passed you your facewash or worked shampoo through your hair. It was both annoying and incredibly comforting how much effort he put into making sure you were taken care of.

“Clint,” you asked after your bath as you stepped out of the tub and wrapped yourself in the towel he passed you, “why do you do all this?”

He bit his bottom lip and took long enough to reply that you thought maybe he wouldn’t.

“I know what depression is like, and I know you need time to mourn, but I’m not going to let temporary depression become something long term. Not for you.”

You ducked your head. He hadn’t told you and Natasha about his depression until he had finally reached rock bottom, lying in a hospital bed after attempting to take his own life. After that you had both done your best to help him, staying with him through the therapy and doctor’s appointments, making sure he took his meds every day, and trying your hardest to give him reasons to smile while not letting him feel like a burden. The two of you had even refused to drink once you hit twenty-one since he couldn’t mix alcohol with his medication, a show of support your whole friend group had adopted. Having seen the toll the bad years had taken and knowing that he still had to be on medication to keep it from coming back, you felt a burst of warmth knowing that he was doing his best to keep that from ever happening to you.

“Thank you.” You surprised him by wrapping your arms around him and burying your face in his chest, before you realized that you were still soaked. “Oops,” you said, pulling back to look down at his wet clothing, “sorry.”

“Anything for you, love,” he replied with a smile, pulling you back in for another hug.

----------

It was October before you realized that while he left most days for work, Clint had never mentioned classes. You swore to yourself and paced the living room, waiting for him to get home. He was your best friend! Had you really been so wrapped up in your own world of pain that you hadn’t realized what he had given up for you? You’d been getting yourself worked up over it for two hours when you finally heard the door open, followed by Clint’s cheery, “I’m home!”

“You dropped out.” Your roommate looked confused as you launched into his face and started lecturing him almost before he could shut the door behind himself. “You’ve gone to work but not to class. I’ve never seen you working on homework.” Realization struck his face, but you continued. “You shouldn’t have done that, Clint. You were on scholarship. You shouldn’t have given that up for me. I’d have been fine.”

“Y/N, relax, it’s okay,” Clint cut in before you could continue your rant. “I filled out some paperwork when I made the decision. As long as I start again next semester, I won’t forfeit my scholarship. I had to fill out the same paperwork for you, by the way, but you don’t seem worried about potentially losing yours.”

“Oh.” Your prepared argument suddenly seemed irrelevant, but there was still a question lingering in your mind that you needed answered. “Thanks. But…”

“But what?” he asked, pulling you into a hug. “I don’t regret it. It’ll just take me a little longer to graduate, same as you. That’s worth it if it means you’ll be okay.”

“That’s not it,” you said, pulling back. “It’s just…when I realized you took the semester off, I started thinking about everything. You pay the full rent. You make sure I’m eating. Hell, Clint, you run me a bath and wash my hair when I can’t get up the energy to shower! That’s not normal ‘I’m your friend and want you to be okay’ stuff, that’s…” Please, please deny it… “That’s ‘I’m in love with you’ stuff.”

Clint’s silence spoke volumes. “Damn it. Why?”

He slowly reached up and tucked a loose piece of hair behind your ear. “Because you’re amazing. You’re kind and funny and stubborn and so, so beautiful. But I made my peace with the fact that I had missed my chance and you might never love me back when you started dating Riley. Even if you never feel the same I’ll still be here, I’ll still be your friend, and I still be taking care of you because you’re worth it.”

He sounded so earnest your heart broke for him.

“I don’t feel the same,” you whispered.

“Of course you don’t. You can’t. You just lost someone you loved a few months ago.”

“Where do we go from here?”

He shrugged. “Why do we have to go anywhere? I meant it when I said I’ve made my peace with you not loving me back. You knowing how I feel doesn’t make me any less your friend.”

You tentatively agreed, unsure how anything could really be the same. After two weeks, however, you started to relax. Clint wasn’t treating you any differently or expecting anything more from you than you had already given him.

The start of a new semester came around and Clint lined up his classes with yours as best he could so the two of you could carpool, saving you gas money. He insisted you wait until you knew you could handle your class load before looking for a job.

“Don’t rush back into everything too quickly. Give yourself time to adjust.”

Along with returning to school, you started spending more time with your friends. You hadn’t even realized you had been isolating yourself so much until Steve hugged you and asked how you were doing. Renewed contact led to more group activities and hangouts, and while you were definitely aware of the lack of Riley’s presence, it hurt less as time went on.

One Saturday evening in March after a movie night at Natasha and Bucky’s you started thinking as Clint drove you home. Since your epiphany in October, even though your friendship hadn’t changed, you had started to notice his eyes. They carried a softness whenever he was taking care of you that you hadn’t realized was there before. How many years had he looked at you like that or given you a smile like you were his whole world without you noticing?

By 2 a.m. you finally acknowledged that sleep was not going to come anytime soon. You padded out of your room, intending to get a snack from the kitchen but pausing at the light shining under Clint’s bedroom door. It only took a moment to make up your mind. You raised your hand and lightly knocked.

“Come in.”

Clint was sitting on his desk (a habit you’d teased him about as long as you’d known him) typing something on his laptop. When you poked your head in his room, he set the computer aside.

“Is everything okay?”

You nodded and took a deep breath.

“Can I talk to you about something?”

[raptorginger]

Chemistry & Conservation: Chapter 6 - Pancakes, or the Weight of Water

Ren watched Rey get into the Uber that pulled up in front of his bungalow through the bay window, sipping coffee.  By the time he’d put on some sweatpants, she’d already ordered the car and was slipping on her cardigan.  He hadn’t looked, as she’d asked, although he’d wanted to.  

“I’m gonna go, umm, brush my teeth and stuff,” he’d said, jerking his thumb towards his bathroom door.  It was lame, but he figured she wanted to wait for the car in relative privacy, avoiding small talk.  He was horrible at small talk.  She’d looked grateful.  

“Umm, thanks.  Do you have another bathroom I could wash up in, or…” she’d replied, biting her lip and fiddling with her shoes in her hands.  She’d looked so adorably embarrassed then.    

“Oh yeah, down the hall. Only door on the left.”

“Thanks.  Umm, if I’m not here when you get out...umm…” she’d trailed off, not quite sure how to finish her sentence.

“Yeah, no worries, forget about it.  I’ll see you Monday,” he’d said, turning to go to his bathroom.  He heard her leave his room, padding down the hall.  He’d brushed his teeth in a daze, mechanically turning on his shower to its hottest setting.  As he leaned his forehead against the tile, water running down his back, he tried to process the last several hours.  

He couldn’t.  He’d acted totally unlike himself.  He didn’t get involved with colleagues.  Although he’d been approached by a few in the past, he’d always brushed them off.  His work had a tendency to consume him, and that had always driven the couple women he’d been with in the past away.  

But Rey.  She’d consumed his thoughts unlike anyone he’d ever met or been with.  Consumed him more than his work had.  He hadn’t been able to focus all week.  He had thought, when he saw her at Starkiller, that if they danced together, spent the night together, it would get better.  That he could get her out of his head.  

It had been a stupid thought, he realized.  It hadn’t worked.  In fact, it had failed spectacularly.  He wanted her more than ever.  He wanted to lie in bed with her, hold her while they talked about everything and nothing.  He wanted to know her.        

As he stood there, watching her drive away, he let out a deep sigh, running a hand through his unruly hair.  How the hell was he going to function on Monday when he saw her again?

***

“Miss Kitty Kat!  Where have you been?!” shrieked Mrs. Lao, Rey’s elderly landlord and next door neighbor as Rey made her way up the steps of her brownstone, Louboutins still in her hand.  

Rey groaned inwardly.  Mrs. Lao had heard Finn call her that once, and she’d never forgotten it, and used it when she was mad at her.  “Out, Mrs. Lao.”

“I was worried!  I wanted to call the police!”  Mrs. Lao stood on the shared stoop of their brownstone, hands on her generous hips, a frown on her wrinkled tanned face.  “Thank God your friends came this morning, reassuring poor Mrs. Lao that you weren’t dead!”

Rey had lived next to Mrs. Lao since she’d come to the University five years ago to work in the Conservation Lab and finish her doctorate in chemistry.  The Vietnamese woman had taken a grandmotherly interest in Rey and was fiercely protective of her long time tenant.

“Obviously I’m fine, Mrs. Lao.  I’m sorry I made you worry,” Rey said apologetically, softening her tone.  She did feel bad making the old woman worry.  Mrs. Lao was the closest thing to a maternal figure Rey had left, although Rey felt far from fine in reality.  The whole way back to the brownstone, she’d thought of Ren.  She’d wanted to have the car turn right around, take her back to him.  She wanted him to hold her, simply hold her, in his large arms in his beautiful living room that smelled like paper and old leather and coffee.  She’d gotten a glimpse of a personal study on her way down the hall, and she longed to know what a published chemistry genius read and how he kept his books.  

She’d waited for the Uber on the seat built in to bay window, listening to the running water coming from Ren’s room.  It had sounded like he was showering.  She wondered if he was thinking about her like she was thinking about him, but had shook her head trying to get rid of the thought.  They’d had a one night stand.  They had said they were going to act like colleagues and professionals from now on.  They hadn’t even exchanged numbers.  That was as it should be.  It was one thing to be a woman in the hard sciences.  It was another to be the black sheep in an academic department.  She was both.  She’d had to fight incredibly hard to get where she was, and she didn’t want anything to jeopardize that.  He’d seemed to understand, was on the same page she was.  That was good! Then why did she feel so miserable?

Mrs. Lao gave Rey a sympathetic look.  Like she knew Rey wasn’t fine.  She patted Rey’s cheek.  “It’s alright, my dear. You are a young pretty girl.  But, an old lady worries.”

Rey leaned into Mrs. Lao’s palm, giving her a sad smile.

Moving back, Mrs. Lao said turning to the door, “Now, your friends are waiting inside, making quite a ruckus.  That pirate friend of yours brought his silly dog again.”

Rey rolled her eyes.  Poe sometimes brought his Shiba Inu, Beauregard Buford, BB for short, with him when they all got together.  He felt bad leaving him for too long when he was out, especially after working all week.  The dog was adorable though, fluffy and orange and white with an intelligent but silly face, so no one ever objected.

Rey walked into the brownstone with Mrs. Lao, the elderly woman heading to her door on the right.  

“Come down for dinner tonight, Rey.  I’ll make your favorite,” Mrs. Lao said kindly.

“Thanks, Mrs. Lao.  That sounds nice,” Rey replied as she made her way slowly up the stairs to her part of the brownstone.

She could smell pancakes already.  Reaching her door, she turned the knob, finding it unlocked, taking a deep breath before she entered.   Why did I give Finn a key, she thought pushing open the door.

Her friends’ voice were loud and cheerful when she walked in, bombarding her with questions.  She could see Finn was making pancakes in the kitchen.  Poe and Rose were at the dining room table, cups of coffee clasped in their hands.  They were all looking at her.  BB was excitedly circling her ankles, giving her a thorough sniffing.  Rey held up her hand.  “Please hold all questions until I return,” she said in her best seriously joking voice.  She disentagled herself from BB’s investigation, stepping carefully over scattered shoes. She reached into her pocket and tossed her phone, ID, and remaining cash into a bowl she kept on top of an old chest next to her door.  They all watched her as she made her way to her bedroom.  

Reaching her bedroom, she closed the door behind her, resting her head against the warm wood, and closed her eyes.  She threw her shoes toward the closet.  Shit, I probably scuffed the leather.  She rubbed her face, sighing.  Get it together.  One thing at a time.  Take a shower.  Slowly she made her way to her bathroom, peeling off her clothes along the way.  She threw the bundle into the hamper next to the sink and turned on the water.  She sat on the edge of the tub, her hand under the running water. She watched it in a daze.  

She turned and caught her reflection in the mirror opposite the tub.  The skin on her shoulders and neck was kiss bruised and raw looking from Ren’s morning stubble.  She blushed, seeing the raw skin around her nipples.  Even though they weren’t there, she could see Ren’s handprints all over her.  She turned the water temperature up, hoping it would soothe away the reminders of their...tryst.  She stepped in, tugging the shower pull.  She turned her face to the warm spray, letting it wash over her.  As she went through her daily ablutions, she started feeling more normal.  More like her usual self.  By the time she towel dried her hair and dressed in her usual Saturday uniform, baggy black sweatpants and a plain grey fitted tank top, she was feeling more or less back to normal.  Rey threw on an oversized zip up sweatshirt, rolling up the sleeves, and made her way back to her friends.

They were much quieter than when she had first walked in, but they were all looking at her expectantly, eyes dancing.  Finn’s eyes held a more worried expression.  BB ran circles around Rey as she made her way to the kitchen to get a cup of coffee.  She could feel their eyes on her.  

Rose finally blurted out, “Well?!”

Rey laughed.  “What do you want me to say? I met a guy at the bar. We chatted. We danced.  We spent the night together.  We parted ways.  The end.”

Rose squealed with delight and danced around the room.  Poe let out a hearty laugh and hugged her.  Finn raised an eyebrow, mouth full of pancake.  He knew she was leaving out a pretty big detail.  Rey gave him an imperceptible shake of her head.  Not now.  

“You don’t do anything by half measures, do you?” Finn asked, jokingly.  “When I said you needed to unwind, I didn’t think you’d take it so far.”

Rey made a face at him as she put a pancake on her plate.  “Shut up, Finn.”

“So, how was it?” Poe asked as he sat back down, eyebrows waggling.

“Oh my God, next question!” Rey cried nearly dropping her butter knife, a flush rising to her cheeks.

“That good, huh?”

“Oh my God, shut up,” Rey muttered, focusing intently on spreading butter on her pancake.

Rose was still squealing as she sat back down, feeding BB a bit of bacon.  “It’s alright, Rey.  We’re just happy you went out and had a good time.  It’s been a long time since we’ve seen you so relaxed, relaxed enough to dance, much less leave, with a hot stranger, and we just want you to be happy.”  Rose placed her hand over Rey’s.  In a gentle tone, she asked, “All joking aside, did you have a good time?  Are you alright?”

Rey smiled looking over her little group, placing her other hand over Rose’s, giving it a squeeze.  “I’m alright.”

Looking at Finn, Rey saw his warm brown eyes were filled with concern.  Looking down, she whispered to herself, “I’m alright.”

[sophygurl]

Okay I am done with the panel write-up posts and I apologize to all my followers who don’t give a fuck about that kinda thing but WisCon is a big part of my life so I get to totally indulge in it once a year so there. [For anyone wondering this amazing con I keep going on about is a feminist Sci-fi/fantasy con right in my home town and I’ve been going for close to ten years now and it’s like HOME to me]

Gonna post some about the panels I was on, my general con experience this year, and some other stuff under this next read more thingum here. It’ll be more of a personal post than the others. Anything else I write now will be more about fandom-ey stuff that I got up in my feels about and need to hash out. 

BTW though. Hi new followers!! If you’re coming to me due to WisCon specifically or due to my write-up of THAT panel, feel free to introduce yourselves. I use tumblr the most frequently with twitter and FB being a sort of tie for second and DW much more rarely just as an FYI. I’m sophygurl everywhere but FB which is my real name. I’m easily findable and love talking to people! 

So my panels this year were all very different in tone and experience, but all went pretty well? I had fun anyway? I had 4 panels about TV in some way or another and one about Star Wars. Some hinged on serious-ish topics, but I wasn’t on any Serious Business panels this year. 

I wrote up a crap-ton of panel ideas and a lot of them got through. So many that panels I wrote up and wanted to go to were often up against one another and I had to make lots of choices. But it feels really good to me to be involved in that way - in writing up panels, and in being on them, and in going to them and taking notes and writing them up after. There is a lot that I CAN’T do for the con due to my disability stuff. But this is stuff I both can do and enjoy doing so it works out well. I also volunteered to a few people to write up panel descriptions from ideas they have but don’t have fleshed out, so that’s an exciting new thing for me to try out.  So but yea, all five of the panels I was on were panels I also wrote up. 

My first panel was about Women Loving Women on TV. It was me, another panelist, and the moderator. I was a little worried about this panel because the moderator said she was put on the panel by mistake and doesn’t even have a TV (she did fine as a mod - not all mods have to also partake in the talking, they can just ask questions of the panelists), and the other panelist never contacted either of us or showed up for the panel.

Fortunately, I am a well-prepared panelist and felt comfortable talking about this subject for the whole 75 minutes. But then the panel was scheduled against a panel on a similar topic and so anyway - three people showed up for the panel. Fortunately they were kinda fun and engaged people so it became more of a conversational panel than a formal presentation kind and I think it went well? This was my only panel this weekend that I wasn’t the moderator of. 

My next panel was about intersectionality on TV. I was also a lil worried about this one because it was just me and one other panelist, although we had some good chats online before the con so I wasn’t too worried. Fortunately, she convinced a friend to come sit on the panel with us so there was three of us - and both of my panelists had lots of awesome things to contribute. We also had a decent size panel for an evening time slot and got the audience involved too. I pulled one of my goofball tricks and made the audience do a lightning round question of a show they think does intersectionality well and everyone was able to come up with something, which was fun.

Right after that was my panel about SFF sitcoms which was a blast. This was even later in the evening, so we were all really punchy! It was me, a good friend, and another panelist I knew casually before. We wanted lots of audience participation and we got it - getting so many more recommendations than any of the 3 of us had even considered. And since it was a panel about comedies, we really just kinda relaxed and had fun with it.

That was all Friday. Big Day for me.

Saturday night, again a late night slot, I had my Bisexual Representation in TV and Film panel. This one I was not too worried about because I was asked to hand-staff it, since I had strongly suggested the panel be filled with Bi+ folks. So most of the panel was people I already knew and had paneled with before but also I snagged a couple of people I hadn’t previously talked to but who were also awesome.

The panel was in a large room and was fairly full, which I thought was really neat. I had a lot of my own notes on the subject, and did go off on a huge bit about the amazingness of Sara Ramirez and her two bisexual characters, but I also knew from previous convos that my fellow panelists had a lot of interesting things to say and they did not disappoint. It seemed like the audience had a lot of fun and the # for the program was pretty lively, so that’s always a good feeling.

Sunday afternoon was the panel I was MOST excited about. It was all about the themes of The Last Jedi. Like how cool is that? A whole panel not just about the movie in general, but specifically about the THEMES of the movie?! I was pumped that this panel even got through, much less that I got to be on it, much less that I got to moderate it.

And let me tell you something. My panelists? Were amazeballs. Like, the email convos we had ahead of time were already so smart and so nuanced and so full of different ideas and perspectives I was like !!!

And the panel went SO WELL. Like, there was such an equal exchange of like flow and information going back and forth. I feel like I really organized my own thoughts and questions for my panelists well and we all spent the whole panel making grabby hands for the mic because we were all so excited to respond to one another’s thoughts. 

It was FUN and THINKY and I could tell the audience was really engaged and we all laughed and discussed and disagreed and laughed more and it was probably the best time I have ever had on a panel. The #TLJThemes on twitter is just chock-full of both quotes from my awesome panelists and thinky-thoughts from the very smart audience who I sadly did NOT end up having time to get questions or comments from because literally the moment we finally had a pause of any kind? It was right on the dot time for the panel to end LOL. 

So yea, wow, that was just exhilarating? IDK, I am such a nerd.

But yea, so I had everything from 3 audience members to packed rooms and no fellow panelists to crowded tables of excited panelists struggling to get a word in and everything in between and I feel sort of confident that I did well with all of it? So that’s neat. 

Last year I didn’t moderate any of my panels and I found I really missed it, which is why I volunteered to do more moderating this year and it was a Good Life Choice and I plan to do more of it in the future. I adore WisCon for being the kind of place that a basic nobody like myself who has done nothing with her life besides watch a crapton of television can sit on panels and moderate panels and contribute to panels and do things like this that I enjoy and feel like am good at and it’s just such a good. *cuddles the general idea of WisCon*

And beyond the panels - both that I attended and sat on - I had a really wonderful con this year. I was very social and decided to get over my awkwardness and just kinda Utilize my awkwardness because, like, we’re all geeks here so just stop worrying and be a dork and have fun and it worked? I talked to so many people, introduced myself to so many people, made so many connections, hung out more specifically with some of my favorite people, and just sort of made sure to hang out in public spaces and smile a lot and that helped? Who knew. 

There were really only just the three bumps in my otherwise good experience.

1. The panel. If you didn’t already see about this, I attended a panel that very unfortunately derailed into Nazi apologism and it was super gross and upsetting but lots of people spoke up against the panelist in question and the con acted quickly to ban her and are continuing to discuss if she can ever come back so at least that part is good but UGH UGH UGH that was so gross.

2. My laptop broke on me. Fortunately, I have amazing friends and the one I was rooming with doesn’t use hers a ton so she let me use it a lot so I didn’t have to be off-twitter much because a lot of the con happens in the twitter tags and I would have been very sad to miss out on that. I got home and my other amazing friend and roomie helped me get my laptop into the shop quickly and it’s back now which is a huge relief because as a mostly homebound and frankly mostly sofabound extrovert? I need my laptop. I NEED my Laptop. 

3. Life with chronic illness sadly does not stop when you are at an event you love. Even when you save up all your spoons, and spend weeks building up your stamina after a winter of mostly hibernating, and use all of your meds, and allow yourself more caffeine and different foods than usual, and work really hard on self-care. Still, you are chronically ill. 

I am able to push myself a LOT at WisCon because of how it fuels me socially and intellectually and creatively and in so many other ways. But that still only goes so far. And especially with having two late nights on panels - I did not make it to any parties or other late night social events this year. Nor did I make any early morning panels - and there were some I really Really wanted to go to. 

But that’s life and I still got to cram SO MUCH in and spent lots of time in the hot tub soaking and also having poolcon with some amazing folks and had lobbycon and actually made time to have meal/snack times with people instead of just the usual “we should totally make sure to ...”

There were a lot of people I only saw briefly or missed entirely that I’d have loved to have had more time with, but I guess when we finally invent the time turners I can have all that plus go to ALL the panels. 

Oh! And I did go to an amazing reading this year. I often skip readings but I knew a bunch of the people at this one and adore them so I went and it made me feel and think a lot of things and adore these people even more, so there’s that. 

And PHEW I think that’s it. I have tons of thoughts about like, found family and female friendships and stuff mostly about my own amazing platonic poly tribe - some of whom come along to WisCon with me and we get to like BE together in shared living space and then go off and have our own adventures and bond with other people and then introduce one another to those people and it just enhances the whole thing and YAY MY PEOPLE. And uh, yea, one of said peoples who sadly no longer lives in the area just came back over to my place from our other friend’s house and is only going to be here for another day and a half so I’m gonna go run off and spend time with her while I can. 

[lordsicheng]

Sea of Lost Love: Pt. 1

Park Jihoon x OC

g: fluff

summary: you used to visit your grandma who lived by the sea in her beach home when you were younger, and you finally returned after several years of not going. not only did you long for the gentle breeze of the sea, but your heart also became excited to see that special friend who has also longed for your return

a/n: i know i still have some overdue stuff and i seem to skip finishing some other stories but i sweaaar i’ll post them all completely before the week ends plus i’ll start posting/writing the other prompts too, also i wrote this while in dubai and i FINALLY got the file back hurraaahhh anyways this only has two parts, this is more fluffy so prepare for the angst on the second part warning warning

You looked up the sky and saw the sun shone brightly, making you raise your hand to cover the rays from getting unto your eyes. You smiled at how the day was pleasantly warm, unlike the other days it felt whenever you got a chance to visit your grandmother’s beach house

“Y/n! Mom’s looking for you!” your brother called out

“I’ll be there!” you yelled back, turning your head again to watch the waves crash unto the shore

You slowly stood up and were about to walk away, wiping your clothes as sand were stuck to some spots. Your grabbed your handkerchief from your pocket to help wipe yourself, but as you spread it out, the wind blew it away, making you startled as you followed it to where it got to: on a boy’s hand

“You’re still quite clumsy, I see.” he chuckled

You looked at him with furrowed brows, confused as to why he would speak to you that way when you thought it was the first time you just met him. His puffy cheeks, perfectly shaped eyes, and pleasant smile. It hit you that it was someone from your past, making your eyes glisten as you slowly walked near him

“J-Jihoon?” you gasped, examining his features for it was definitely different from when you last saw him

“You guessed it.” he grinned

“Jihoon!” you exclaimed as you ran towards him to give him a hug, him hugging back as he swayed you side to side from the excitement of seeing you again

-

You looked at all the adults talk to each other while you and your brother remained quiet on the dining table. Your brother just kept on eating, probably almost on his third plate, and you just kept poking on your mashed potatoes with your fork. You told Jihoon to meet you by 7, the time already past 6 as you checked on the side

“Y/n, dear, don’t play with your food.” your mom said as she chewed on her meal

“Sorry, mom. I’m really not that hungry.” you smiled

“Well, you ate a whole bag of Lays in the car on the way and ate a tub of Pringles, so how am I even surprised.” your brother rolled his eyes, laughing

“Ha ha, funny.” you gave a straight face as you looked at him

“Oh, y/n, your grandmother wanted to know if you wanted to spend the next few days here.” your father asked

“I’d love to. Just as long as Woojin doesn’t stay too.” you glared at your brother

“I don’t have plans on staying here either, sis.” he smiled sarcastically to you before continuing his meal

“We’re going home tomorrow morning. I’ll come back on Saturday.” your dad assured, making you nod as you slowly continued to eat

-

Jihoon waited for you by some of the bedrocks nearby, throwing a couple of stones before you arrived and sat next to him. He gave you a warm smile as you situated yourself next to him and began to take deep breaths as you took in the cold gust of the night

“I haven’t seen you here in a long while.” Jihoon said as he looked at you

“I sadly am a city girl.” you pouted while looking back

“Nothing much has changed here. Just that there are about a couple of families that have built beach houses nearby.” he sighed, looking at the direction of the small village that was situated nearby

“You haven’t left since?” you asked, raising your brow as he turned again to look at you

“I have, just that I go here every weekend to visit family. I go to school at a city nearby and I live with two other people.” he nodded

“You’ve changed a lot. When was the last time I saw you? Eight? Nine years ago?” you laughed as you looked at the sea in front of you

“Nine years ago. And yes, I’ve obviously changed.” Jihoon playfully rolled his eyes as he leaned back a bit with the support of his palms on the rocks, enjoying the view of the sea with you

“I missed you.” Jihoon shyly admitted, pouting as he looked down

“I missed my little chubby playmate too.” you looked at him and smiled, making him scrunch his face a bit and turned his head to look at you

“Chubby?” he said in an appalled way

“Hey, I was chubby then too!” you crossed your arms in defense

“We both have obviously changed. I’ve become manlier, and you’re…” he paused, looking at you until he stopped to your eyes

“I’m?” you tilted your head, curious as to why he had stopped speaking

“Y/n? Where are you?” you heard someone from afar, probably your mother, calling you. You hurriedly stood up and tried to fix yourself before turning to Jihoon who also stood up

“Tomorrow, 11am.” you whispered, and he nodded quickly as you turned again to run off carefully back to the beach house. Jihoon slowly turned the other way and went back to his home, turning once more to see if you have left and then running back to his tracks.

-

“Are you sure you’re gonna be fine for the rest of the week?” your mom asked as she looked at you standing while they were already in the car

“Very sure. Grandma’s here, I have internet and cable TV here, the sea is here, food is great here.” you smiled widely as you leaned down to the window

“Call us if you need anything for your dad to bring by the weekend.” she said as she nodded

“Alright. See you guys. Mom, dad.” you smiled before turning your head to look at your brother

“Woojin.” you gave a stank eye, him putting out his tongue in reply and laughing as your dad drove off the house’s driveway, you and your grandma waving goodbye to them

“Ah, you’re gonna have so much fun here.” your grandmother said as she pat your shoulder

“I’m most likely going to be hanging out by the sea if I’m not home, grandma.” you smiled

“Oh? You and Jihoon have met again?” she asked in surprise

“Wait, how’d you know, grandma?” you crossed your arms

“Y/n, you always talked to me about Jihoon when you were younger. His grandmother and I are close. We’re actually gonna go and play bingo at our other friend’s house later.” she giggled as she turned to go to the doorway

“Has Jihoon ever visited the beach house, grandma?” you asked, walking next to her

“Many times, yes. Whenever you were not around, he would often ask where you were.” she said as she opened the door and let you both inside

-

You saw Jihoon from afar kicking his feet lightly on the water that hit the shore, you only able to chuckle at his cuteness as you ran towards him. He heard the splatter of the water from your running and turned to see you, also slowly running away from you and laughing. You suddenly became flustered as to why he ran off away from you

“Ya! Park Jihoon!” you yelled

“Try and catch me!” he laughed, making you suddenly remember a memory of when you and him played the same catching game by the shore

“Try and catch me!” a younger Jihoon said as you imagined the whole setting from the past, remembering how you were not able to catch him because your stamina wasn’t as great as to now.

You remembered how you pouted and sat on the sand because of your tiredness, making Jihoon stop running and walk up to you, wiping your tears away as he saw you were injured by a small shell you stepped on from running. That time, you and him just became close because he was probably the only playmate you had within the area. You’d get teases from your grandma and he would get from his too, but you knew it would only be a figment of your imagination that you both would end up together in the future.

You snapped back to reality and realized you were still running  to catch Jihoon, finally gathering the most out of your strength to be able to run faster and finally catch up to him, grabbing the collar of his shirt as he turned and laughed the moment you were able to finally get a grasp of him

“Gotcha!” you exclaimed as you panted, Jihoon also becoming tired from running under the sun

“Ah, you’ve become stronger.” he shook his head as he bent a bit and put his hands on his knees, you trying to catch your breath

“Guess being part of the track and field team helped.” you said in between pants, slightly chuckling

You and Jihoon sat on the bedrocks again, just enjoying the view from side to side where the beautiful beach houses were situated by the shore at one side and the other of a small flock of trees were situated. He looked at you, mind full of wonders of how it was possible for you both to meet again as he never thought you would come back anytime soon whenever he was around

“How long will you be staying?” he asked, letting out a slight sigh

“Until Saturday.” you nodded, still looking at the sea

“So you have only two days left?”

“I can’t leave my life there, Jihoon.” you shook your head

“I understand.” he nodded, looking at the sea

You both became silent for a while, becoming appreciative of the sight that was in front of both of you. You stole a few glances at Jihoon, whose expression was somewhat in between relaxed and sullen, perhaps leaning the latter. You took a deep breath and nodded before you spoke, turning your head forward to look at the scenery once again

“Has anything changed since I last came here?” you asked, pursing your lips

“Lots of things. There’s a cool market nearby, they sell lots of handmade jewelry and personal items, even clothing. There’s also a nightly barbecue that covers over half the street at night where people get to eat by the street facing the ocean. Also, there’s a dance party every Friday. Don’t worry, it’s appropriate for all ages.” he chuckled, remembering all the new stuff that’s been happening in the area on the top of his mind

“Market, you say?” you raised a brow and smirked, Jihoon’s attention diverting to you

-

You and Jihoon walked through a street near the seaside where it was full of small stores and some small restaurants, where you became curious as to how it became very developed within the years you were gone. Jihoon almost lost track of you as he walked further from you because you were busy wandering around. He noticed you weren’t by him and he turned to look for you and walked back on his tracks. He saw you near a shop that sold beautiful handmade jewelry, smiling as he walked over to you looking through the necklaces that had different sizes and colors of seashells on them

“Pretty, right?” the lady at the store said as she approached you

“How much?” Jihoon said as he walked over, making you look at him

“Shh, no, Jihoon I was just looking.” you whispered as you put back the necklace

“It’s fine, she’s my mom’s friend.” Jihoon whispered back

“Ah, is this girl…?” the lady raised a brow while smiling, making Jihoon look perplexed

“Oh, no. Please don’t misunderstand.” Jihoon chuckled as he grabbed his wallet

“No, it’s fine, Jihoon. I’ll come back tomorrow.” you assured

“Hmm, there’s this necklace Jihoon has been eyeing for the longest time.” the lady said as she scanned through the display of her jewelry where she saw a necklace that had a pendant of different colors of stained glasses, grabbing it with its box as she handed it to Jihoon

“Give it to her. No need to pay.” she chuckled as she walked to the other side of the store once her husband called her, turning towards you and Jihoon before leaving

“Tell your mom I said hi.” she waved as she walked away, you and Jihoon looking at each other in confusion and ending it with a laugh as you both went out of the store

“You hungry?” Jihoon asked as you both continued walking through the street

“Kinda.” you shrugged

“Let’s eat, come on.” he said as he grabbed your hand to a nearby restaurant he frequented, making your heart skip a bit the moment you felt the softness of his palms

-

“I’m surprised you’re still as playful as ever.” you rolled your eyes while eating some seafood at the restaurant, Jihoon pouting like a kid the more you teased him

“You’re calling me playful when you used to kick the sandcastles I made. They were masterpieces!” he exclaimed as he raised his arms, making you laugh

“Could you be any more obvious? People are gonna look at us.” you whispered, giggling in between

“Sorry. But really, we need to make sandcastles later. Bigger and better ones.” he chomped on the barbecue skewer he ate on

“I’m still going to make mine better than yours.” you teased, making him roll his eyes

“I hope the sharks attack your sandcastle.” he mumbled

“There are sharks?!” you gasped, widening your eyes as your cheeks puffed from all the food you ate, making Jihoon laugh at how cute you looked

“Just keep eating.” he chuckled, making you pout and continue to eat while looking at your plate. Jihoon couldn’t hide his smile the moment you looked away, his heart still in sparks as he finally saw you again after years of waiting for your return since he thought you were never to come back.